There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 193 - 187. Tranquility

Chapter 193: Chapter 187. Tranquility

Zein had the laziest day of his life yet.

He spent the whole day being pampered with a feast and hot chocolate, spent the evening making a mess of the bed, had a quick dinner, and back to the mess. Thinking of nothing but the warmth of the man in his arms.

And he woke up with that warmth, arms around his waist and platinum hair strewn across his shoulder. And even after opening his eyes, he just stayed in bed, absentmindedly stroking the esper’s head while digesting the newfound bliss of waking up realizing he wasn’t alone.

He didn’t think about his exercise or his work even though it was Monday of a new month and there should be an executive meeting in the afternoon. He didn’t think of anything really, just enjoying the way he slept without nightmares and woke up without his heart feeling constricted and heavy.

And it felt good.

It felt good until he shudder and decided to take a shower. Bassena did clean him up after their last session, something new and surprising for Zein.

--what are you doing? I can’t do it again

Zein had asked, when Bassena sat between his legs and touched his puffy hole. And the esper arched his brow, as if he was confused about Zein’s confusion.

--I just put on a salve? I know the recovery serum will take care of it, but there’s nothing wrong with being extra cautious

Zein didn’t even know there was a salve to instantly treat inflammation and tear in sensitive places. Well, to be fair, there was nothing like that in the red-zone, and people there were just...not care. They hooked up quickly and bolted--no time to waste on useless fluff.

And then Bassena proceeded to wipe his body, changing the sheet while Zein watched in a daze, and they went to sleep.

--Did you always do this?

Zein asked, something bubbling in the bottom of his heart. Something new but quite familiar, like the time he heard Bassena go to the Temple. The esper casually replied with a negative.

--I only do this to my lover

Zein narrowed his eyes and muttered;

--you said you never had a lover

To which Bassena replied with a deep smile.

--I never had

And then the esper hugged his waist and went to sleep. The uncomfortable feeling was gone and Zein, feeling better, followed the esper to the dreamland.

Yeah, it was all good but he still wanted to shower. A simple wipe of a warm towel couldn’t possibly be worth the filthiness of doing it--Zein glanced at the bin beside the nightstand--a lot.

Wow--he exclaimed inwardly. How many were there? Zein lost count after the third time. Thanks to him utilizing the reserve magic energy to support his stamina, he could keep up with the esper. And he was as pent up as Bassena, it turned out, because he never rejected the man’s request for more. At least until he tapped out on his last reserve and decided that was enough.

And thanks to the expensive recovery serum, Zein didn’t have to wake up feeling like he was just climbing up the mountain and rolling down through threes and boulders. As far as he knew, his ass was fine too--which was important, since they had a meeting today. But he still felt icky so a shower was imperative.

"Bas, let me go," he whispered, and Bassena was just squirming and whining like usual. Zein chuckled and whispered closer to the esper’s ear. "Baby, I need to pee."

Zein had no idea if it was the ’pee’ or the ’baby’ that got Bassena loosening his hold with a frown and a pout--although the man still very much sleeping. Zein slipped out of the comforter and planted a light kiss on the scale before rushing to the bathroom. He did need to pee.

As he stared at the reflection in the bathroom mirror, he could see the marks on his skin. And they were everywhere. On his neck, on his chest, on his thigh...there were some on his back too, when Bassena flipped him to his stomach--seemed like the regenerative serum did not include covering hickeys.

He truly shouldn’t underestimate the extent of Bassena’s pent-up frustration. At one point, the younger man even bit him, although he didn’t do it anymore when he found out that Zein grunted in pain because of that. The esper also stopped when Zein told him to stop, although he whined and made a sad, disappointed puppy face.

"Ah, he’s truly cute," Zein chuckled, leaning forward to press his forehead against the tiles as the warm water trickled down his skin.

As he looked down, he could see the dangling beads around his neck. For a second, his heart constricted again. But this time, he could smile still, and whisper an apology. "I’m sorry," he said, not because he still heavily hung on guilt.

It was definitely still there, even after he let it out, even after he talked it out with Bassena after. But the guilt was no longer as severe as before, and he could stop thinking that he somehow caused their death. No, his regret this time came from the fact that he blatantly ignored the twins’ wishes because he was too drowned in his own sense of guilt.

Their wish for him to enjoy his life.

He regretted to even having the thought of the twins or Bassena or...his parents blaming him for anything. They didn’t deserve such slander even inside a nightmare.

In that case, his atonement should be doing what they wanted him to do; live. Not just breathing, but living his life fully. Having dreams, planning the future, falling in love...

Falling in love...was hard. He wasn’t sure if what he felt was love, or if it was just some sort of attachment. But that didn’t matter much; there was someone who changed himself for him, who dedicated years of his life to him, who stubbornly chased after him even after all the cruel things he had said and done. The least he could do to such a person was to accept him, and to try loving him the way he loved Zein.

Surely, he could try. He didn’t mind trying. He felt like he was already halfway there anyway, at the very least.

But the adorable man was still sleeping even after Zein finished his long contemplative shower, now hugging the pillow that Zein used, burying his face there. So Zein just took his commlink and went down to get some water.

And then, when he was standing in the kitchen, downing a glass of water, the door beeped and someone came inside, holding groceries in her hand. She, a woman in her sixties, paused as she saw Zein. She blinked for a few seconds before exclaiming. "Ah!" which was followed by a cheery "Good morning!"

Zein, uncharacteristically, froze as he saw the woman, before returning the greeting awkwardly. "Ah...yes, good morning," he said, as he shifted to the back of the sink. He glanced down, at the expanse of his bare legs, and suddenly felt bashful. He had no idea where Bassena put his dirty clothes, so he just took trunks and a random shirt from the closet. Thankfully, at the very least, the shirt was big enough to cover his crotch, so he was spared a more embarrassing encounter.

He should really pack some clothes inside the storage ring next time.

"I’ve only ever seen Young Master Shin here, so you must be Mister Zein," she said with a radiant smile, putting the groceries in her hand to the kitchen island. "Young Master had been talking about nothing but you for months now," she laughed, and then peeked at Zein, eyes curling teasingly. "I can see why."

"You must be his nanny," Zein said while filling his glass again.

The crinkles in her eyes increased as she smiled sweetly. "Yes, my name is Nayla. Nice to meet you, Mister Zein."

Zein had heard about the woman before. Nayla, or who Bassena called Ayya as a habit from his baby days, was the nanny that Svadiva Vaski personally picked. She wasn’t from the family’s circle--a girl with half-southern blood, just like the artisan grandpa--and thus, was immediately fired when Bassena’a mother passed away. Bassena had lost contact with her until he got back his mother’s inheritance, and immediately sought the nanny.

Fortunately, she was living well and still working as a caretaker around Eastern Federation. Bassena asked her to go back to Althrea, to take care of his mother’s apartment; this place. But she had a family now, so she couldn’t fully stay. She came every few days to clean the apartment and cook some homemade food for her not-little-anymore young master.

"Just call me Zein," the guide said before sipping his water.

"Oh, no. I can’t possibly call Young Master’s loved one with just a name," she dismissed it casually, in a lighthearted tone that gave no room for Zein to protest. "Ah, I’m going to make Young Master’s birthday meal, but do you have any request, perchance? Or perhaps a pair of pants? Not that I mind it at all."

Zein choked on his water slightly, first for the last sentence, but then his attention came back to the other thing that she said. "...did you say ’birthday’?"

"Hmm? Yes," the nanny nodded enthusiastically while sorting out her groceries.

"Today?" Zein asked dumbly.

"Yes, of course," she answered confusedly, and then paused to stare at the guide. "Young Master didn’t tell you?"