There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 181 - 175. Priority

Chapter 181: Chapter 175. Priority

Perhaps because they had been away for too long, the member of [Anzus] saved for Bassena and Kei, were forgetting about the significance of having Zein and Nadine came along with them.

When they fully realized it, their expression grew bright, especially Zhan and Gus who were cheering in merriment. Not something people usually see happening inside a high-red dungeon.

"Oh, oh--then can I request a guiding now? Since we’ll camp here anyway," Gus swiftly come over in front of Zein with an eager face, prompting Zhan to shove himself there too like they were about to make a queue.

"Me too, me too!"

It was fortunate that Zein had his own share of facing battle freaks in the borderland--actually, he had his fair share of facing any kind of freaks. So he just raised his palm up to stop them from crowding him, because even the quiet Julian and Abe had started to stand up.

"Hey, don’t jump the line," Bassena clicked his tongue from the boulder they used as a temporary table. "I have the priority card."

The other espers narrowed their eyes at Bassena, who said such a thing with utmost confidence. And it annoyed them even more because it was probably true--they could easily see today that Zein was rather partial when it came to Bassena too.

"I’m not going to guide you first," Zein, however, said dryly, and the others gasped audibly, even the surveyor. Bassena looked like his soul had left his body, lips parting and eyes widened, heartbroken.

"Whoa..." Han Shin covered his mouth and glanced back and forth toward the two people.

"I’ll be guiding based on corrosion level," Zein said, ignoring the plethora of shocked faces. "Measure yourself and come back after deciding the order."

* * *

"Hmm...I’m glad about this, but Commander won’t suddenly murder us in our sleep after this, right?" Zhan asked after Zein was done guiding him. He had mixed feeling about marveling at the nicest guiding he ever experience and souring Bassena’s mood.

But Gus, who was already received guiding earlier, replied calmly with a relaxed smile. "Don’t worry, since it’s Zein that makes the decision. Right, Shin?"

"Uh-huh," the healer nodded, leaning back on his folded chair. "Bassena has no capacity to get angry at Zein."

"Hoo..."

"Because Zein will chew him back if he did," Han Shin added with a laugh, which rewarded him a flick on the forehead by Zein’s fingers.

"I really don’t know how you did it, but I’m glad we have a tamer."

"It’s called love, Zhan," Gus spoke with a fake sigh. "Not that you’d understand."

"Piss off--"

Ignoring the two espers, Zein looked around before turning to Han Shin with a slight frown. "Where’s Bas?" Zein asked the healer while loosening his stiff shoulder.

"Probably meditating on why you’re not spoiling him like usual," Han Shin grinned teasingly while opening a pack of cookies. "But the serious answer is that boulder in front of the path we’ll take after this."

Zein looked toward said path, and finally caught sight of the platinum hair. Bassena was staring at the dark passage between two very thick and wide pillars, either in the middle of patrolling the vicinity through his children of darkness’s vision, or just mopping about Zein’s words. The man hadn’t been around since Zein started guiding the other espers, and the guide started to think that he should probably phrase his words better.

Yes, he was being professional and followed the rule book that he himself set up for the other guides in his division, but he should probably also have told Bassena that he would like to guide the Saint-class separately. In a more...intimate way. And that would be very much uncomfortable to be done in the middle of the camp.

He also belatedly realized that his words might come off as cold and brash earlier. In his defense, it was quite hard controlling emotions when his mind was so messed up.

But he didn’t need to hurt the esper anymore than he already did.

"You’re not abandoning him, are you?" Han Shin suddenly asked, to Zein’s bewilderment.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don’t know, you’re just..." Han Shin pursed his lips, mulling over what he wanted to say, thinking whether or not it would be offensive. "...it’s been some time since we could see your face."

Zein flinched unconsciously, pressing his lips beneath the mask. He opened his mouth, almost saying ’no’ immediately, but...he closed them again without saying anything. Han Shin looked at him curiously, perhaps still waiting for an answer.

Would he abandon them?

Zein couldn’t give any answer that didn’t seem like a lie, so he just sighed and walked away, strolling toward that seating figure in the distance.

Bassena was staring blankly at the passageway, but it was easy to see from his face that the esper wasn’t in a good mood. The amber eyes were squinting, and his lips curled downward. Zein was almost tempted to flick the furrowed brows and unfurled the crease in that forehead.

Even when Zein stopped beside him, Bassena stubbornly stared into the darkness rather than looking at the guide. Zein tilted his head at the dejected face and curled his lips slightly. "You’re sulking?"

"Why? I can’t?" Bassena grumbled with a low voice, lips twisted in annoyance. But after five seconds of silence, he froze, seemingly realizing how childish he sounded. "Uh, I mean--"

Before he could continue, Zein had already grabbed his jaw and turned his face up, so they could look at each other’s faces. "You’re not being professional," the guide said coldly, blue eyes narrowed in slight disappointment.

"...I know," Bassena replied quietly. He wanted to say a lot of excuses, of course--that he wanted to feel special, that Zein was originally the 5-stars’ guide, that Zein sounded cold and dry, that he felt like he was getting rejected all over again--but they were all just excuses that did not justify him acting unprofessional.

He knew that Zein was making the logical choice and played by the rule--prioritizing those with higher levels of corrosion. And that was why he didn’t make more fuss and just watched from the side.

But he also couldn’t help it. Whether it was an instinct of an esper toward his favorite guide, or a natural disposition of someone whose beloved person was being coveted by a lot of people. Bassena truly worked hard to press his possessive tendency, but Zein being so vague about their relationship didn’t help his insecurity.

But yeah, he knew he was being unprofessional, so he held himself from making excuses, and repeated. "I know--"

Bassena blinked, and then looked up. The hand on his jaw had moved to caress his nape, and a surge of refreshing flow entered his system. He didn’t move, couldn’t make any motion, just looking at the guide dazedly.

Zein was staring at him keenly, like the guide only had him in his eyes, fierce and tender at the same time. They had gone through a lot of guiding processes since Zein joined Trinity--by hand-to-hand, by kissing--but it had never felt this intense. It didn’t even feel this intense during that one-time-only sexual guiding.

Because at that time, clearly, Zein only allowed it to get Bassena off his case--and probably a little bit of lust. There wasn’t much affection then, not like this. The stroke of the guide’s thumb on his neck was slow, almost felt like it was done absentmindedly. It was soft, gentle, burning his skin like hellfire.

Bassena parted his lips, but there was nothing his throat could produce. Like always, he was too afraid the moment would fade away if he moved, so he just froze there, feeling his body get lighter and lighter.

But for some reason, his heart felt heavy. As he looked at those blue eyes, he was reminded of how unsettled Zein had been acting these days. The guide used to be very consistent regarding how he treated Bassena; how he was cold and keeping some distance at first, and how he indulged the esper more and more. But these few days, Zein would act dry sometimes, and then affectionate not long after.

Zein also seemed to be retracting to how he was before he joined Trinity, keeping his thought to himself. The guide had started to open his mask more often when he was with a group of people that he was comfortable with lately, but these few days, Zein wore his mask even when he was with Bassena.

Bassena knew it had something to do with hearing the story about his parents, and whatever it was that got Radia calling the guide over. It was truly unsettling looking at Zein like that, but every time Bassena felt like he couldn’t handle it anymore, Zein would give him this--this glimpse of affection, of assurance that all those progress between them wasn’t lost in the void.

In a sense, Bassena’s feelings of jealousy and insecurity stemmed from this; because Zein had been retracting to how he was, to the version of himself before he knew Bassena even exist.

And honestly, Bassena was afraid it was going to happen.

In the end, without being able to say anything, Bassena closed his mouth and leaned forward, sighing as he pressed his head against the guide’s abdomen. Zein did not retract, did not stop caressing the esper’s nape. With the other hand, he stroked the platinum locks, and said in a voice only Bassena could hear.

"You’re always my priority."

After spending five seconds being stunned, Bassena chuckled and closed his eyes, letting the corrosion wash away, along with his anxiety.