The Young Miss Refuse To Love
Chapter 94: Her soul and body are incompatible

Chapter 94: Her soul and body are incompatible

"How did you come to this world?"

Qi Jianyi turned to face Song Chengfeng, her expression calm but thoughtful. His question, though simple, struck a chord within her. It wasn’t just difficult to answer—it was the very question that had haunted her since her arrival.

"You mean, how did I transmigrate into this world?" she asked, deliberately emphasizing the word transmigrated. She couldn’t help but find the irony in his curiosity—it mirrored her own desire to uncover the truth.

"I don’t know," she said with a small shrug, her tone light yet laced with frustration.

"You don’t know?" Song Chengfeng’s brows furrowed in confusion, his disbelief evident.

Meeting his gaze, Qi Jianyi placed her hand on the table between them. "It’s far more complicated than you think, Chengfeng. Even after everything I’ve been through, I still haven’t figured out how I came to this world."

He leaned forward slightly, his determination evident. "I want to know what you know."

"Pushing your luck a bit too far, aren’t you?" Qi Jianyi teased, her lips curling into a faint smile as she tried to lighten the mood.

Song Chengfeng frowned at her playful remark, his resolve unwavering. "I want to help you, Jianyi," he said, his voice soft, almost too quiet to hear.

Yet, beneath his words, Qi Jianyi could sense a subtle hesitation—a reluctance he seemed determined to suppress.

For a brief moment, Qi Jianyi found herself at a loss for words. She stared at him, amazed by the depth of his feelings for her. How could a man, knowing full well that the woman he loved was searching for a way to leave him, still choose to stand by her side? How could he so selflessly decide to help her find a way back to her world instead of trying to convince her to stay?

It was a kind of devotion that both baffled and moved her deeply.

"If people knew about this, they would all call you a fool," Qi Jianyi said, her lips curving into a forced smile in an attempt to ease the tension that had settled between them.

Unfazed by her remark, Song Chengfeng remained calm and replied, "Let them. I don’t care what others think of me, Jianyi."

His steady response, so resolute and unwavering, left her momentarily speechless. It was then that Qi Jianyi fully grasped the depth of his determination. There was no swaying him, no breaking his resolve.

Song Chengfeng had made up his mind to stay by her side, to support her—even if doing so meant causing himself more pain in the end.

With a small sigh, she decided to share what little she had uncovered. "A few weeks ago, I found a diary—or at least, what I thought was a diary. I assumed it belonged to the real Qi Jianyi. I hoped it might give me some insight into my sudden transmigration. I wasn’t completely right about it... but I wasn’t wrong either," she admitted, her gaze meeting his with a faint smile.

"It wasn’t a diary, Chengfeng," she continued, her voice calm and composed, though the weight of her words seemed to ripple like waves in a stormy sea. "It was a book meant for me."

"A book meant for you?" Song Chengfeng echoed, his brows knitting together in confusion.

Qi Jianyi nodded. "Yes. The book started with the words, ’My name is Qi Jianyi, and you are also Qi Jianyi.’ Creepy, isn’t it?"

Song Chengfeng didn’t reply, his expression caught between intrigue and unease.

"That’s how I knew it was meant for me. At first, I wondered if she might have written it for her future self, but the deeper I delved into its contents, the clearer it became that it was written for me specifically," Qi Jianyi said, her voice dropping slightly as if the memory itself weighed on her.

She closed her eyes briefly, gathering herself before she went on. "In the book, she wrote about her childhood. About how everyone around her lied to her. How her parents abandoned her. She described it all in detail, but here’s the strange thing, even though I received most of her memories when I came into this body, I have no recollection of any of what she described. At first, I thought she was lying."

"Was she?" Song Chengfeng asked softly, leaning in, his curiosity piqued.

"Did she lie, you mean? No, she didn’t," Qi Jianyi replied, her voice growing quieter.

"She was telling the truth. She really was lied to. She really was ignored and abandoned by her family. All of it was true, and it validated the bitterness she held towards them. But that wasn’t the main point of the book."

Qi Jianyi paused, her expression darkening as the resentment she had tried to bury began to resurface. "The real Qi Jianyi had something far stranger to say. She wrote that she could see me in her dreams every night."

Song Chengfeng stared at her, his confusion only deepening. "She could... see you?"

"Yes," Qi Jianyi confirmed, taking a deep breath.

"She wrote that in her dreams, she watched me live my life. She saw me grow up with the loving parents she never had. She saw me surrounded by friends while she was alone. She watched me work tirelessly, sacrificing my youth to chase success, and she called me both inspiring and ungrateful. She admired my hard work but questioned why I pushed people away and allowed myself to lose them."

Qi Jianyi laughed, though the sound was hollow and tinged with bitterness. "She saw everything. She saw me fight for what I thought I needed most—money. She saw me succeed, and then she saw me crumble under the weight of it all."

Her voice softened, and a hint of regret flickered in her eyes. "She had everything I wanted, and I had everything she longed for. She wanted a family like mine, and I..."

Qi Jianyi hesitated before continuing, her voice heavy. "I needed money to save my family. So much so that I sacrificed everything else for it. And even after I’d done enough, I couldn’t stop. I became greedy. And because of my greed, my naïve eighteen-year-old self paid the price."

As her words trailed off, Song Chengfeng noticed the sadness etched on her face and the hurt lingering in her voice. Without a word, he reached out, his hand brushing against her cheek in a gesture of comfort.

Qi Jianyi blinked back the tears threatening to fall and managed a small smile. "I made a foolish wish, Chengfeng. I wished to be born into a wealthy family. And she heard me. She heard that wish I didn’t even mean. And now... well, I suppose this is what people mean when they say, ’be careful what you wish for’"

Her smile trembled, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears, but she refused to let them fall.

"Did you two... exchange lives?" Song Chengfeng asked cautiously, his voice steady despite the way his heart clenched. His gaze was fixed on Qi Jianyi, who seemed to be struggling to pull herself together.

"Yes," she replied after a moment of silence, her voice soft but firm. "She stole my life. And as for how she did it? I have no idea." Shrugging, Qi Jianyi shook her head, making it clear she had no interest in continuing this topic. It was an emotional minefield, one she’d rather avoid.

Song Chengfeng, however, wasn’t ready to let the matter drop. "And about your body... Do you know anything?" he pressed, referring to her earlier evasive remarks.

Qi Jianyi hesitated, her expression turning thoughtful as she looked down. For a moment, it seemed like she was debating whether to share her thoughts or keep them to herself.

"I might have some guesses," she finally admitted, her tone hesitant.

"What are they?" Song Chengfeng’s voice was firm, his concern evident as he leaned closer.

Qi Jianyi sighed and whispered, "I think... maybe this body is rejecting my soul, and that’s why I cough up blood and faint sometimes." She avoided meeting his gaze, unwilling to see the reaction her words might provoke.

"Are you saying your soul and this body are incompatible?" Song Chengfeng’s voice wavered as he asked, his fear creeping into his tone.

The thought chilled him to the core. If what Qi Jianyi was saying was true, it wasn’t just a matter of her returning to her world. There was the grim possibility that one day, she might simply vanish.

"I’m just guessing," Qi Jianyi replied, attempting to sound nonchalant. "The doctors found nothing wrong with my body, after all. But maybe it is related to my soul. So yeah, I think I really need to find a way back to my real body before this one completely kicks me out," she joked halfheartedly, though there was a sliver of seriousness in her tone.

Her attempt at humor failed to ease the tension. For Qi Jianyi, this was a mild inconvenience, a mystery she hoped to solve before it became dangerous. But for Song Chengfeng, her words struck like a gong, reverberating with the possibility of loss.

Qi Jianyi herself had mixed feelings about the situation. She wasn’t panicked. If anything, part of her welcomed the idea of returning to her world. After all, this wasn’t her body—it didn’t belong to her, and it never truly accepted her.

She could still feel the lingering presence of the original Qi Jianyi in subtle but undeniable ways. The sudden ache in her chest when she thought about the nanny who had passed away, the overwhelming resentment that bubbled up at the mention of her parents—these weren’t her feelings.

They were remnants of the real Qi Jianyi’s emotions, deeply embedded in the body she inhabited.

Her soul didn’t belong here, and this body knew it. Just as much as Qi Jianyi never accepted her new reality, the body never truly accepted her presence. In a way, both were in silent agreement—this arrangement wasn’t meant to last.

However, what felt like a distant issue to Qi Jianyi was a growing dread for Song Chengfeng. Her casual remarks about the body rejecting her soul nearly unraveled his composure.

He stared at her with a complex expression, his thoughts a whirlwind of fear and helplessness. Yes, he had already prepared himself for the day she might leave, but the idea of losing her without warning, without even the chance to say goodbye—that was unbearable.

Song Chengfeng clenched his fists under the table, forcing himself to keep calm. All he could do was stay by her side.