The Young Miss Refuse To Love
Chapter 68: I want to be someone real to you

Chapter 68: I want to be someone real to you

"But Jianyi... please, don’t look at me like that anymore. I’m here. I’m alive. And I want to be someone real to you."

Hearing those words, Qi Jianyi’s heart pounded fiercely. Song Chengfeng had surprised her again and again today.

His usual cold demeanor had softened into something gentle, something almost tender. He’d spoken words she’d never expected to hear, things that made her question what she’d thought she understood.

And now, he’d touched on something she believed no one could ever notice. Ever since she’d woken up in this world, Qi Jianyi had occasionally found herself seeing everyone around her as... unreal.

Just characters in the written story she’d thought she had transmigrated into. Even when she began doubting if this world truly was a mere novel setting, she still couldn’t fully accept the people around her as genuinely real.

Because if she did, if she embraced the idea that they were more than fictional, she felt like she’d lose something essential.

As if something precious would slip away from her grasp—and the thought of that unsettled her in ways she couldn’t quite understand.

"Maybe you saw it wrong. I never looked at people like they’re dolls. Maybe I was just exhausted that day at the hospital," Qi Jianyi offered, though she knew her excuse wasn’t particularly convincing.

"You still haven’t given me your answer. Can I stay by your side?" Realising Qi Jianyi didn’t want to linger on the topic, Song Chengfeng gently redirected the conversation back to where they’d left off..

Qi Jianyi raised an eyebrow. "You still haven’t answered mine."

"Because I have a feeling you’ll disappear from my life if I don’t hold onto you," Song Chengfeng replied, his gaze intense as he searched her expression for any hint of her true feelings.

Hearing his words, Qi Jianyi smiled, masking the chaos of emotions swirling within her. Out of everyone she knew in this world, only Song Chengfeng had sensed something was amiss.

Ironically, he’d never truly known the original Qi Jianyi. Yet, he could still tell she was hiding something, noticing her every move—big or small—that slipped through her guarded facade.

"You really like me," she exclaimed, bewildered. "Where could I even go?" She laughed softly.

"Who knows? Maybe I’m just paranoid. So, let me stay by your side. I’ll wait until you’re ready for a relationship with me," Song Chengfeng replied firmly, his decision unmistakable.

The more Qi Jianyi listened, the more confused she felt.

"Wait—who said that, when I’m ready for a relationship in the future, I’d choose you?" she pondered aloud, forgetting her earlier tears.

"I’m the only option you have," he replied, dismissing her question. "You won’t find anyone better than me."

"You’re so full of yourself," she said, rolling her eyes at his confidence.

With a gentle tap on the chest she’d cried against earlier, Qi Jianyi responded softly, "Stay if you want. But I’m warning you, Song Chengfeng, you’ll get hurt."

It was undeniable—his words and actions had moved her. For once, Qi Jianyi felt like she had someone in this world. Someone who saw her, who accepted her as she was.

"I’m not afraid of pain," he replied. ’As long as I can see you.’

"What are you two doing out here?" He Zeqing, the forgotten man, appeared behind them, his gaze narrowing as he took in their unexpected closeness.

"Why are you touching him, Jianyi?" His voice dropped slightly upon noticing Qi Jianyi’s hand resting on Song Chengfeng’s chest.

Rubbing her reddened eyes, Qi Jianyi replied, "Cousin, it was too crowded inside. I felt a little dizzy, so Chengfeng brought me out for some fresh air."

Though He Zeqing doubted her, his concern for her well-being took precedence. "How are you feeling now?"

"I’m fine, just need to sit for a moment." Qi Jianyi smiled innocently, the lie slipping effortlessly from her lips.

"Let’s go sit in the car. It’s hot out here. I’ll take you to lunch shortly—just need to have a quick word with the director." He Zeqing took out his car keys, motioning for her to follow him to his car.

Unexpectedly, Song Chengfeng stepped in, blocking him. "No need. I’ll take her to my car."

"You—"

"Let’s go." Without waiting for He Zeqing to finish, Song Chengfeng took Qi Jianyi’s hand, leading her away to his car, leaving the baffled man behind.

Qi Jianyi laughed at his actions, especially when she caught the irritated expression on He Zeqing’s face. "You’re going to piss him off," she whispered as they walked.

Song Chengfeng didn’t falter at her words, only looking more annoyed as he replied, "He’s such a third wheel."

...

Qi Jianyi closed her bedroom door and walked to her bed in a daze. There was so much to process—from the memories she’d received to Song Chengfeng’s assumptions.

"So, Qi Jianyi wrote that novel? But even if she did, how did she make it appear in my world?" she murmured, struggling to make sense of it all.

At first, the revelation had felt like her world was crumbling as the truth behind the novel unfolded. Yet, the more she thought about it, the more unreal it seemed. How could a teenager write so accurately about the future without having lived it herself?

"Why does it feel like something is missing from that memory?" Qi Jianyi whispered, rubbing her head in confusion. "What did I overlook?"

"Qi Jianyi, what is it that you’re hiding from me? If you really wanted my life, why did you ask me to find you?" As time passed, Qi Jianyi felt her grip on reality slipping. Her sense of truth had blurred, leaving her uncertain.

Sometimes, she couldn’t even tell what was real and what was fabricated. Was it truly the original Qi Jianyi who had locked away the memories? Or was it she herself who had unconsciously blocked them, unwilling to uncover the original Qi Jianyi’s life?

What was the truth behind her transmigration? Could she even call this... this situation, transmigration? Or was it... a soul swap?

"This whole situation is so annoying," she grumbled as she walked over to her study table.

Reaching it, Qi Jianyi pulled out the old diary that had once belonged to the original Qi Jianyi. Without hesitation, she flipped through the ink-stained pages, barely glancing at the words. After a few pages, she came across some blank sheets.

She sat down, picked up one of the pens scattered on the table, and began to write.

Qi Jianyi. You are Qi Jianyi. You’re not from this world. You were never from this world. Your life has been stolen, and you’re trying to reclaim it.

Whatever you feel in this body isn’t yours. The resentment you hold toward your parents—it’s not truly your emotion. None of this is yours.

Qi Jianyi, don’t forget. This isn’t your world.

With a sigh, Qi Jianyi finished writing. These words weren’t meant for the original Qi Jianyi—they were meant for her. She was afraid that, one day, her memories would become tangled and she’d lose sight of her purpose.

Because at this point, nothing felt impossible. Qi Jianyi sensed that her declining health was somehow tied to her transmigration. She didn’t yet know the cause, but she was certain they were connected.

Perhaps her health was affected now, but her memories might be next. The possibility filled her with a pressing urgency.

Just as Song Chengfeng feared she would vanish if he didn’t hold on, Qi Jianyi feared she would lose her memories and become forever trapped in this world if she began to accept the people in this world.

As Qi Jianyi sat back, her fingers rested lightly on the words she had just written, a chill running down her spine. She read them again, hoping they would root her back into her purpose—her real identity.

But a nagging doubt lingered in her mind. What if her memories really did begin to slip away, leaving her lost in a life she never asked for?

"What will happen to me then?" she murmured, terrified.

However, a soft knock interrupted her thoughts.

"Jianyi, you’re back?" It was Mrs. Qi, her voice softening at the sight of her daughter’s tired expression.

"Mom, what’s wrong?" Qi Jianyi controlled her features while subtly hiding the old diary with her hand.

"Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to ask about your day. How was it? Where did Zeqing take you?" Mrs. Qi smiled as she stepped into the room, walking towards Qi Jianyi at the table.

Qi Jianyi shook her head. "It was exhausting. He took me to one of his filming sets. Mom, please tell dad not to let Cousin Zeqing take me out to play in the future. I just want to lie down in bed for the rest of the summer," she complained playfully, completely changing her solemn mood earlier.

"Was it only the two of you?" Mrs. Qi smiled knowingly at her daughter. Though Qi Jianyi complained, her eyes seemed to twinkle with amusement.

Raising an eyebrow, Qi Jianyi chuckled. "Mom, you’re already so old and still so gossipy?"

"Hey, what’s wrong with that? I used to be a young lady too. I’m still a little girl at heart," Mrs. Qi playfully replied, her smile widening as she saw her daughter laugh.

Qi Jianyi had always been a cold girl growing up, but these days, although she smiled more often than before, Mrs. Qi could sense a distance between them. At first, the gap had been due to her neglect, but now it seemed as if her daughter sometimes treated herself like an outsider in their family.

Originally, Mrs. Qi wanted to ask whether Qi Jianyi had something on her mind, but she decided against it. It was good for her daughter to open up and talk to her, and she didn’t want to ruin that by prying into her privacy.