The world has turned into Hell's Game, why should I stay human?
Chapter 783 - 537: If You Could Handle It, I Wouldn’t Need to Help Your Wife Solve It_2

Chapter 783: Chapter 537: If You Could Handle It, I Wouldn’t Need to Help Your Wife Solve It_2

Niu Ma lay back on his pile of hay and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

Liu Zheng glanced at him, then pulled out his phone again.

"Lao Deng."

"What Lao Deng?"

The Earth Spirit on the other end of the phone asked in confusion.

"Oh, that’s a term of respect for male elders in our village dialect."

He explained.

"Is it? How come I feel like your tone isn’t very respectful."

The Earth Spirit said suspiciously.

"Then you’re feeling it wrong, try feeling it again next time. Anyway, the important thing is, I’ve already been to the ’Die Happily’ funeral home."

Liu Zheng said.

"How is it? How is it?"

The Earth Spirit immediately dropped the subject of the nickname and asked eagerly.

"They’ve definitely got it covered."

He nodded.

"I bought you a duplex Sunshine mansion, and a low-end version of ’Sisters in Arms,’ the Eighteen Beauties version of the ’Eighteen Partings,’ and a high-end, grand and classy one-stop funeral service, personally hosted by the funeral home’s manager. Oh, right, and there’s also a Nanmu coffin."

Liu Zheng listed one by one.

"Why is the ’Sisters in Arms’ the low-end version, and why isn’t the coffin made of Golden Phoebe?"

The Earth Spirit nitpicked.

"Because I don’t like the high-end version. The coffin was a freebie."

He answered honestly.

"But I like it, and how can a coffin be just a freebie? I don’t care, you have to get me a Golden Phoebe one."

The Earth Spirit threw a tantrum.

"Lao Deng, do you know how much all this costs?"

"How much?"

"One million. And that’s after getting a huge discount because of my connections."

Liu Zheng said.

"And how does a delivery guy like you have connections?"

The Earth Spirit doubted.

"I don’t, but my god-brother-in-law from the City Supervision Department and the Tomb Guardian at the cemetery do."

"...I don’t care, a person only has one funeral in their life, what’s wrong with spending a bit more? Can’t you let me enjoy it one last time?"

The Earth Spirit continued to make a fuss.

"You only have one funeral, but you also have countless years of property management fees to pay. Without me paying your fees, just wait and see your mansion turn into a doghouse."

Liu Zheng sneered.

"Is there such an unfilial son as you in the world? Do you still expect me to recommend you as an honorary owner?"

The Earth Spirit said angrily.

"The old saying goes, in the first thirty years, see how the father respects his son; in the next thirty years, see how the son respects the father. Now that you’re dead, it’s time for you to respect me."

"Besides, do you really think you’re the only senior owner in Green Garden Mad City? If you insist on being unreasonable, I’ll bring a bunch of fly men to your house to crap and pee, making you the smelliest Earth Spirit in history."

He threatened.

"You wouldn’t dare!"

"Why wouldn’t I? I’ve been devoted to you, haven’t even got a house of my own, yet I bought you a mansion worth millions. You still complain about the low-end version of ’Sisters in Arms,’ I don’t even have a left or right hand."

"Fatherless kindness and unfilial son, if you keep being unreasonable, don’t blame me for striking justice over family ties."

Liu Zheng retorted fiercely.

People really think he’s a nice guy, but anyone who’s been harmed by him truthfully or had objects thrown in their face would know, if you don’t talk nicely to him, expect to be cremated by him.

"I don’t care, I just want it."

The Earth Spirit, seeing threats didn’t work, continued to act shamelessly.

"I’ll add an Eighteen Copper Men version of ’Eighteen Partings’ for you, take it or leave it, go find another son then."

Liu Zheng took a step back.

"Okay. Hehe, my son is so filial."

The Earth Spirit immediately agreed.

"Heh."

He wasn’t surprised by how quickly the Earth Spirit changed his face.

People get crafty with age, let alone this guy is a ghost, naturally a very cunning ghost.

"Let’s settle the matter today then."

Liu Zheng said.

"So rushed? I’m not ready yet?"

The Earth Spirit was a bit unwilling.

He was planning to brag to each and every one in the neighborhood in their dreams before the funeral.

"There’s no better day than today. My job is high-risk, there’s no guarantee I’ll live to see tomorrow. If I were to die, all these things would be for me."

Liu Zheng said.

"No way, they’re promised to me."

The Earth Spirit panicked.

"Then let’s hurry up and get it done today."

"Alright, fine."

The Earth Spirit sighed.

"Can you order takeaway?"

He asked.

"Can’t order, in my current state, ordering takeout would be the end of me."

The Earth Spirit shook his head.

The physical body is still very important. Without the protection of a physical body, a mere spiritual body finds it hard to bear the cost of ordering takeout.

Even a strong being like Red Pig would turn into a little piglet if he actively orders takeout.

"Then let the funeral home folks handle the process first. I’ll join in once someone places an order."

Liu Zheng said.

"How can it be a proper funeral if you, the filial son, don’t show up? People would laugh at me to death."

The Earth Spirit wasn’t happy.

"You’re already dead. I can show up, but then you have to order takeout, as long as there’s a bit of soul residue left to bury."

He said.

"Hmph."

The Earth Spirit fell silent.

"Alright then."

Liu Zheng hung up and immediately called the funeral home again.

"Manager Xu, let’s just hold the funeral today."

He stated bluntly.

"So soon? The hygiene at the Yin House hasn’t even been tidied up."

The bald manager was a bit surprised.

"No need, my godfather was never one for the small details. If you make it too clean, he’d be unhappy."

Liu Zheng replied effortlessly.

"Alright then. Would you like to come to the funeral home first so we can go over the details?"

The bald manager suggested.

"You know I’m a delivery guy for the Bloody Restaurant; it’s not convenient for me to come out often. Just go ahead with the funeral, I give you full authority."

"I’ll join in when I can."

He said.

"Um... okay then. About the remaining payment?"

If that’s the case, the fifty thousand deposit won’t be enough.

"Do you need it now?"

"A five percent deposit carries quite a bit of risk for us."

The bald manager gently added.

"Got it. How about this, you can pick up twenty thousand more as a deposit from the ’Imhotep’ clinic, alright?"

Liu Zheng considered and said.

A quarter of a deposit should be enough.

"Sure, thank you for your understanding, Mr. Liu."

The bald manager said, overjoyed.

"It’s all about mutual understanding."

Liu Zheng gave him the address and name, then hung up the phone.

He made another call to let Doctor Nile know, and with that, the matter was settled.

Even though he wouldn’t be present, he believed there shouldn’t be any problems.

Especially with the property management, who would surely fully cooperate to see off this ’plague-bearer’.

To be honest, Liu Zheng felt that the property should cover half of the funeral expenses this time.

Of course, that was just a thought.

Considering the hidden talents of Green Garden Mad City, the property management here is definitely not ordinary.

"Next, just wait for the next order."

He thought as he sat on a small stool.

If the order is again with a one-hour limit, he should be able to accomplish two or three things.

As for whether seven or eight more things will pop up, that depends on luck.

He closed his eyes as drowsiness gradually crept in.

Half asleep, half awake, Liu Zheng felt something seemed to be tapping his foot.

Opening his eyes, sure enough, it was Ghost Hand.

He didn’t look at the order and instead first handed over the drinks and snacks he’d prepared by his feet.

Ghost Hand hopped onto the drink lid, happily sipping from the straw.

Liu Zheng, watching its antics, couldn’t help but chuckle. If it weren’t potentially a part of the Legendary delivery man, it would make quite the pet.

"Oh, and boss. Could you distribute the rest of the drinks to the customer service and kitchen staff?"

He asked Niu Ma.

"Do it yourself, I’m not your errand boy."

Niu Ma replied without even lifting his eyelids.

"Alright, then I’ll tell them I brought treats and drinks for you, but my boss wouldn’t share."

Liu Zheng shrugged.

"Hmph, so what if you say that? Would they dare to ask me for it?"

Niu Ma said proudly.

"Of course, they wouldn’t dare now, but if you become self-employed later, it might be a different story. It’s best to maintain good relations while you’re in a unit, or it’ll be tough out there."

He raised his eyebrows as he spoke.

"Tch."

Niu Ma acted indifferent, but his eyes were already sneaking glances at the boxes stacked in the corner.

Liu Zheng chuckled, picking up the delivery order from the ground.