The Romantic Trials Of A Transmigrated Empress
Chapter 397: Unsolicited wisdom and opinions.

Chapter 397: Unsolicited wisdom and opinions.

Mauve was truly puzzled. Dove was the easiest name to remember. It had just four letters. What was wrong with Sigrid and Roland? Whatever their trouble was, she would just answer the question quickly so they they could get to the letter reading.

"If you are asking about Dove, I made sure that she was driven away from the set and escorted off the property. Brolin and Veylin are keeping an eye on her."

Sigrid nodded and raised the letter. Then, she turned it over again, to ask another question.

Roland groaned. His wife was like her mother. How had he failed to see it all along?

Sigrid paid no mind to her husband’s impatience and she asked, "Does anyone know how she got onto this property? The ball is invite only and I doubt that my mother sent an invitation to wherever Dove came from."

Mauve nodded. "I will get a knight on it immediately now can we please just read the letter." She begged desperately. Mauve was sure that she would explode and die of curiosity if she failed to find out the contents of the letter immediately.

Sigrid smacked her lips and took a deep breath and finally the letter reading started.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN IN THE WITCH AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT.

I have never met a witch but I have met a serpent queen that could have gone far if she simply thought ideas through before execution. If your kind is the same then perhaps this explains the troubles that I am having with exercising patience concerning your affairs. I have many concerns regarding Miss Rapunzel, the long golden haired young lady that lives in a questionable tower.

Without further delay, I will get right to it. First of all: the hair!!! Forty feet of untamed, unbrushed knotted hair that dangles out of a window!! No woman should be forced to endure such a cruel punishment. I wash my shoulder length hair every morning and night. And even then, I find it bothersome.

How did poor Rapunzel’s’ skinny arms not break from washing all that hair? There is an option of not washing it but I would rather not visit that dark corner of poor hygiene for I am afraid that I may not be able to close my eyes at night. You should have given that poor girl a haircut. Untrimmed hair is not hair, it is a nest for birds and squirrels.

Other things that hair is not: A ladder, a rope or a pulley!

If someone tugs on my hair with one finger, I scream the house down. Only the birds know how Rapunzel’s neck did not snap when it was pulled on by a grown man with the strength of a knight.

Secondly, her lack of awareness. I was very terrified to learn that that she is in the habit of opening her window and shouting down to strangers. What sort of young lady does such a thing? What young woman accepts unsolicited visitors to her private boudoir without proper vetting? Even if you kidnapped her, at least you should have warned her to be wary of strangers.

I shudder to think of all the terrible things that could have happened to her, alone in the room with a strange man. As a mother, if my daughter did such a thing, I would dangle her by a rope from that window.

Thirdly: Her questionable choices in suitors. Any man that is willing to use a woman’s hair as a rope is a NO. I don’t know if it’s just me but the prince also seems to be a bit of an idiot.

What man hears a strange woman sing in a tower and decides there and then that he must climb her hair and meet her without knowing who she is or why she’s in the tower? No plan! No backup! That is not very practical. And I do declare that it is not romantic like people believe.

Then, he gets lost easily!!! What happened to maps?I am surprised that he found the tower again.

Also, his poetry comes off as plagiarized. When you do write back, I hope that you provide proof of origin.

My last issue with the prince is his sneaky behavior and lack of heroism. He visited Rapunzel in secret, repeatedly and never tried to confront the sorceress or rescue her immediately. Why the delay?

On the list of Princes in the happily ever after land, he ranks lowest on my list so far.

Even my daughter’s husband who is also a Crown Prince is ranked higher than him. He is at the very top but if he messes up, I will demote him immediately.

Rapunzel should sue him for the mess he made of everything before suing you for kidnapping, illegal detention and poor hygiene.

My fourth issue is to do with the tower. Dramatic, sure! But, locking a child in one for years? Was there no police at all in your kingdom? It is highly illegal.

Lastly, if you ever get the urge to kidnap again, might I suggest keeping a pet like a dog, monkey, peacock, horse or a houseplant. They are a bit more low-maintenance as compared to a living child.

Yours in unsolicited wisdom, Lady Iryne Thorin, lover of fairy tales, slayer of the serpent queen, mother of Crown Princess Sigrid Thorin, New Fairy Godmother.

Sigrid folded the letter and raised her hand. Immediately, it vanished into thin air.

Everyone got a moment to take some deep breaths and ponder on Lady Iryne’s latest thoughts that she had put to pen, sharing her unsolicited opinions once again.

"She is right you know." Mauve was the first to speak up after drinking a sip of wine. "The whole tower thing is a tad bit dramatic. It is what you call overkill, Sigrid. The witch could have rented a normal house and cast an invisibility spell over it."

"Then Rapunzel would never have been rescued." Christie argued.

"She could still sing." Mauve reasoned.

Christie rolled her eyes. "Show me anyone that would go to rescue a woman in an invisible house just because she is singing! Everyone would think GHOST and run away."

Mauve wanted to argue back but she had nothing to say in defense of her opinion. Christie was right, the invisible house idea was not good enough. "I still think the tower was dramatic."

Sigrid yawned tiredly. She was ready to head back to the royal castle and get some sleep. Nobody would be attempting to secretly kiss in the corner anymore. The ball was over for her.