The Princess and Her Rough-Rider Khan
Chapter 517 - 516 Regret Not Having Done Differently (Third Watch of the Night)

Chapter 517: 516 Regret Not Having Done Differently (Third Watch of the Night)

Li Xianyun bit her lip, a complex expression on her face.

What use were Murong Ce’s many apologies?

Huanhuan would never come back.

Besides, his apologies were not purely intended; they were simply meant to win her forgiveness, to have her follow him.

Moreover, what right did she have to forgive him on Huanhuan’s behalf?

Huanhuan had died such a tragic death, her family condemned to a lifetime of pain, unable to live normal lives.

Could a single apology really smooth over and cancel out all that?

Li Xianyun’s gaze cut through Murong Ce’s heart like a knife.

But Murong Ce was not angry. He had wronged her maid, who was like a sister to her, and anything she did was a deserved punishment for him.

He was a lunatic who only ever felt a semblance of conscience in Li Xianyun’s presence, only then did he seem human, alive like a normal person.

He couldn’t live without her.

Murong Ce knelt at Li Xianyun’s feet, looking up at her with an incredibly sincere expression and earnest tone, he said:

"Xianxian, I really know I was wrong. I’ve regretted it every day for so long. Ever since I realized I liked you, I’ve really thought about changing myself. I didn’t let those dissolute young men bully you, making them and their families pay the price they deserved. You clearly didn’t despise me anymore."

At this point, an excruciating expression appeared on his face, forcing him to pause before continuing.

"I often think, if I hadn’t believed the rumors, thinking you and Sheng Heng were in love, driven by jealousy to hurt your maid, you wouldn’t hate me so much. If that day I hadn’t drunk too much wanting to take liberties with you, you wouldn’t have sought to marry into the Khitan, becoming Yelu Yan’s queen."

"I really regret it so much it torments me; I can’t sleep night after night. I’ve really tried to make amends, no longer harming those around you, doing my best to compensate Huanhuan’s family. Even when people from Ji Shi Tang wanted to harm me and I caught them, for your sake, I never thought about hurting them."

Li Xianyun’s autumnal eyes flickered. The people from Ji Shi Tang had managed to escape unscathed from the Houliang Imperial Palace, which shocked her while also allowing her to guess some of the reasons.

How she wished now that Murong Ce wouldn’t say these things to her, wouldn’t change, remaining as vicious and ruthless as ever, so she could continue to hate him like before.

Yet now, she found her feelings towards him strangely complicated.

She must be crazy.

This contradiction and complexity made her feel very sorry for Huanhuan. How could she feel any softness toward such a wicked person?

He might try to make amends, to plead for himself, but Huanhuan could never speak again.

With that thought, the uncertainty in her heart dispersed like smoke.

Then Murong Ce spoke words that shocked her even more.

"Even if you had Xiang Rong drug me, I’ve never hated you. I know all this is the punishment I deserve."

Li Xianyun widened her eyes at him. He actually knew about Xiang Rong drugging him.

No wonder she had never been able to fight him over the years.

Every move she made seemed to be under his watch, and no matter how she struggled, it was as though she was in the palm of his hand.

Such a man was truly terrifying.

Murong Ce continued, "Xianxian, please forgive me, will you? As long as you’re willing to forgive me, you can take everything but my life. Whatever you ask me to do, I will do it, however you want to punish me, I will accept it."

Li Xianyun spoke indifferently, "But a mistake is a mistake; it can never be changed. Huanhuan will never come back, and the hurt you’ve caused, no matter how much you try to make up for it, is still inflicted. Nothing can change that."