The Princess and Her Rough-Rider Khan
Chapter 405 - 404 Past Events Are Too Painful to Recall (First Update)

Chapter 405: 404 Past Events Are Too Painful to Recall (First Update)

Sheng Heng saw that Li Xianyun was looking straight ahead, her gaze icy and remote, and he knew that she hadn’t listened to a single word he’d just said.

"Xianxian, one must always look forward in life; you can’t just focus on Huanhuan. You have to pay attention to the living people around you. You neglect yourself like this, but have you ever thought of the Prince and his wife?"

"When I left Chang’an, the Prince and his wife saw me off all the way to the city gates. It was only when we reached the pavilion that they could not escort me any further that they stopped. They stood on the high slope, watching as I left. For a moment, I truly felt that they had aged a great deal, and they looked pitiable."

A single clear tear rolled down Li Xianyun’s soft, tofu-like cheek.

Li Xianyun quickly raised her handkerchief to wipe it away.

She seldom cried.

Tears were a sign of weakness; she did not allow herself to be weak.

Li Xianyun indeed felt guilty toward her father and mother.

After the incident, every action she took, Li Rui and Qiu Qianyun had never interfered.

The couple wanted to persuade her but didn’t know how, often sighing heavily out of sight.

Because of her, the atmosphere at home grew more oppressive, devoid of joy and laughter for a very long time.

Li Xianyun could only force herself to temporarily forget about Huanhuan and act as if nothing was wrong, always smiling.

Only then did the atmosphere at home gradually improve.

But everyone knew that many things could never return to how they once were.

Seeing Li Xianyun cry, Sheng Heng’s Adam’s apple bobbed harshly, and he said no more. His hands clenched together tightly, he gazed at her foolishly for a long time before saying, "Xianxian, I shouldn’t have spoken those words to bring up such painful memories. Whatever decision you make, I will support you."

Confronted with Li Xianyun’s tears, he easily conceded.

Li Xianyun didn’t want to cry, but her tears, like flood waters breaking through a gate, were hard to stop.

She lowered her head to wipe the tears, laughing as she said, "I don’t know what’s come over me; I just can’t stop the tears."

Li Xianyun wanted to go somewhere alone and cry out loud.

Fortunately, her tears finally stopped, but her eyes and the tip of her nose were still red, giving her a pitiful appearance.

Sheng Heng gazed at her and asked, "Xianxian, is he treating you well?"

It was obvious who "he" referred to.

"The Khan treats me quite well."

Youlan added, "The Khan really spoils the mistress—not just ordinarily well, but everything she eats, uses, or wears is sent to the mistress in a new variety every day. He dotes on the mistress like a child. Although the Khan is busy with state affairs, he always..."

Li Xianyun placed her hand on Youlan’s.

Youlan abruptly stopped speaking and began to regret her words as if she wanted to beat herself up.

Sheng Heng was hopelessly infatuated with the mistress for a long time, and here she was, incessantly talking about the mistress being pampered to extremes. Wasn’t it like driving a knife into Sheng Heng’s heart?

Sheng Heng’s expression remained unchanged as he simply said, "As long as he treats you well, I can be at ease."

Li Xianyun had been avoiding him from the start so as not to implicate him; it was he who pursued her relentlessly, headstrong and eager.

Huanhuan’s incident was not unrelated to him.

He knew full well that Murong Ce had ulterior motives towards Li Xianyun, yet he still brazenly talked to her in the streets.

He thought that now as a top-scoring scholar, he had the ability to protect Li Xianyun.

Murong Ce, no matter how arrogant, would still be wary of the Houtang Imperial Court.

But ultimately, he was wrong, and it was Li Xianyun who saw through Murong Ce clearly.

When they happened to meet on the street that day, he stopped Li Xianyun to talk.

Li Xianyun looked around like a frightened rabbit and said, "Sheng Brother, let’s talk about this privately."

She said this as she pulled her two maids, ready to leave.

But he extended his long arm to stop her.

"Xianxian, you don’t need to be afraid. I’ve already become the top scholar, and I’ll soon be promoted. It’s better if more people see us—it lets them know I’m fond of you, and no one would dare to insult you," he said.

He had always kept his fondness for Li Xianyun deeply hidden in his heart. Now that he had become the top scholar, he finally dared to reveal his feelings.

Li Xianyun looked at him in astonishment, "So the rumors in the Capital City were spread by you?"

Although he wasn’t the one who had disseminated the rumors, he did not deny them because they were true; those rumors hadn’t told any lies.

Li Xianyun said, "Big Brother Sheng, you’re so muddleheaded."

After saying that, Li Xianyun left in a hurry without heeding any objections.

That very day, Huanhuan was captured by Murong Ce, and so was he, the newly titled top scholar.

He was beaten mercilessly by Murong Ce and left gasping for breath, curled up in a cold, dark room.

Murong Ce used the handle of his whip to lift his chin.

His whole body was in agonizing pain, and his eyes were swollen from the beating. He could only force them open and saw Murong Ce’s wickedly handsome face close at hand.

Murong Ce had a scornful smile on his lips, "You don’t even weigh your own worth, and yet you dare compete with me for a woman?"

It was then that Sheng Heng realized that Murong Ce’s repeated harassment of Li Xianyun wasn’t out of dislike, but because of fondness.

But who in the world, aside from this madman Murong Ce, would use such a method to express their fondness for someone?

On that day, Sheng Heng suffered a fate worse than death. He did not know how many times he had been hit, nor how many times he had passed out. There was not a single patch of unbruised skin on his body.

Murong Ce had intended to kill him, but for some reason, he suddenly changed his mind, had him stuffed into a carriage, and dumped at the Sheng Family’s doorstep.

He lay in bed for a full two months before he could walk again.

The first thing he did when he woke up was to seek news.

On that day, Li Xianyun went to the prison to demand a release. He didn’t know what the two of them talked about, but Murong Ce set him free, while Huanhuan died in the prison.

Afterward, Li Xianyun went to the prison to serve, and he, the newly titled top scholar, was dismissed by the Emperor under a pretext—there was no doubt who was behind this intimidation.

The past was painful to look back on. If he could do it all over again, he would certainly not be so reckless.

Li Xianyun looked at Sheng Heng and said, "Big Brother Sheng, Miss Li has been infatuated with you for many years. As she approaches an age unsuitable for marriage, if you like, you can..."

Sheng Heng interrupted, "Let’s leave it to fate."

Her words made it clear that there was no longer any possibility between them.

His trip to the Khitan was also made with the last hope of trying his luck.

After all, Yelu Yan had a notorious reputation. If Li Xianyun was not faring well, he was willing to abandon everything and stay in the Khitan.

Though he had no wealth or power, he had his life; a life which he was willing to risk in order to stay by her side, to protect and care for her.

At present, Li Xianyun seemed to get along very well with Yelu Yan. He really had no reason to stay any longer, and he definitely didn’t want his presence to cause Yelu Yan to bear any grudges against Li Xianyun, making her life miserable.

Sheng Heng handed several letters to Li Xianyun, "These are letters from the Prince, the Princess, and Junjun and Nannan for you."

"Thank you, Big Brother Sheng."

Li Xianyun firmly caught them in her hands, somewhat moved, and put them into her sleeve, planning to read them carefully later.

Sheng Heng looked up at her and said, "Xianxian, now that I have seen you, my affairs in Khitan are concluded. I am thinking of leaving for Chang’an tomorrow."

In his eyes flickered a glimmer of hope, the dark pupils seemingly alight with the flames of expectation.

"Sure, when the time comes, the Khan and I will definitely come to see off Big Brother Sheng," Li Xianyun said without a moment’s hesitation or a sense of reluctance.

At her words, Sheng Heng’s eyes immediately lost their spark, turning dull; his throat turned dry, and bitterness filled his mouth.

He and Li Xianyun were fated never to be.

After talking a little while longer, Li Xianyun excused herself, saying she had to return to the palace as there were matters to attend to.

Sheng Heng felt reluctant to part ways.

He had only been alone with her for a short while, and now they had to separate again.

Yet he had no reason to ask her to stay.