The Oldest Dream of Eternal Night
Chapter 34: In Ben’s Mind

Chapter 34: In Ben’s Mind

POV: Ben

"What are we going to say? That some beast attacked us?"

Yuki’s voice echoes, distant, as if muffled by the thick fog of my consciousness.

I can’t move. I can’t open my eyes.

But I hear them.

"We don’t have a choice, anyway."

Footsteps. Ragged breaths. Carter moaning, Hassan muttering something. He was going to take Carter to the hospital.

And then... that question.

"What are we going to do with Ben? The police are looking for him as a victim... when he’s the culprit."

Culprit.

The word pierces me like a blade.

No. No, no, no...

But it’s true.

I killed.

Innocents.

People who didn’t deserve it.

And yet...

"Simple. Sabrina takes him with her."

Kaiser’s voice, as detached as if he were talking about a package to be mailed.

"What?!"

"When he wakes up, you just need to change and speed through a red light. That way, the police will arrest him, and Sabrina can come up with something like running away with her boyfriend. They’ll think he tried to escape. Just make up a convincing story. Anyway, you two were both absent today."

Silence.

No one protests.

No one suggests turning me in.

Even after what I’ve done.

Why?

Why are they still protecting me?

...

I see myself again.

Eleven years old, back against the school bathroom wall, scraped knees, burning eyes.

Four assholes blocking the exit.

"Come on, cry! Like your mom must have cried when she left you!"

My heart tightens.

My mother.

Gone one morning without a word. Without a backward glance.

My father said she was "tired."

I knew what that meant.

Tired of me.

The blows start raining down.

I close my eyes.

And then...

"Hey, you pieces of shit! You feel like growing some balls taking on one guy five-to-one?"

The voice cuts through like a blade drawn too fast. Sharp, deliberately theatrical. Hugo’s, of course. Back then, he was just a guy in my class.

I lift my head, too slowly, eyelids swollen with tears I refuse to let fall.

Long hair stuck with post-training sweat, basketball jersey, and that smile—predatory, almost joyful at the idea of fighting.

The bullies freeze. The biggest one, Marc, a blond with piggy eyes, bursts out laughing.

"Oh, the lady wants to play hero?"

Hugo raises an eyebrow. A tic he picked up from Yuki.

"Lady?"

Then his fist explodes into Marc’s face.

CRACK

The sound is visceral. A mix of cracking bones and cartilage giving way. Blood sprays—a scarlet burst that splatters the tiled wall. Marc falls to his knees, screaming, his hands pressed to his now-twisted nose.

And behind Hugo...

They’re all there.

Yuki enters like a shadow. No shouts, no threats. Just a movement—a leg sweeping the ankles of the second bully with precision. The guy collapses, his neck hitting the sink with a dull thud.

Kaiser, on the other hand, laughs as he throws himself at the third. His blows are chaotic, violent, unpredictable. He hits like he’s demolishing a wall, with shoulders, elbows, even his forehead.

Come to think of it, I wonder if our advice to stop taking his meds was a good idea.

"You see that, Ben?!" he shouts, his voice full of excitement. "We’re fucking heroes!"

It was rare to see him so happy.

A fourth tries to flee. No luck. Carter, always the most fearful, blocks his path. He shakes like a leaf, but he’s there.

"Ben! Are you okay?!" he cries, his eyes shining with anger.

And Hassan...

Hassan, the only one with clean, impeccable clothes, approaches the last bully. Slowly. A weak kick, the guy stumbles more than falls. Then Hassan adjusts his glasses (Ray-Bans, of course), and says with his damn rich-kid calm:

"Come on. Let’s get ice cream. Don’t worry, I’ll pay."

That day, I thought I’d finally exist.

That I’d be part of something.

But even with them...

I was still the weak link.

Carter, the coward? A fucking computer genius. He hacks the school Wi-Fi in two minutes.

Kaiser, the madman? Grades that would make anyone envious.

Hugo, the pervert? Star of the basketball team. Popular with the girls, the bastard.

Yuki, already a black belt at fifteen.

Hassan, the rich kid? He speaks three languages and is fucking rich!

And me?

I’m Ben.

The normal guy.

The one people say "He’s not bad" about, with that polite tone that means but not enough. The one who hears "Do you have any talent?" and responds with a lame joke, hoping no one notices how uncomfortable I am.

And Lynn.

Fuck, Lynn.

With her hair that catches the light like liquid honey and her eyes that judge the world in a microsecond, she’s so independent, firm, arrogant, authoritative... In short, my complete opposite.

She smiles at me sometimes. Side smiles, or maybe it’s just in my mind, and she hasn’t even noticed me.

I watch her. Always from afar. Like observing a painting in a museum: forbidden to touch. Even with that "advantageous" physique—broad shoulders, a square jaw, all that bullshit that makes girls sigh in magazines.

And it’s the worst decision I’ve made, going to talk to her.

But I’m still that eleven-year-old kid who grips his pen too tightly when he has to speak in public. Whose hands tremble slightly when he stammers, "Did you have a good weekend?"

I’d give anything to taste her full lips...

I’d never dare.

Even in my fantasies, I lower my eyes.

I’d give anything to treat her better than her asshole boyfriend. No matter if she despises me.

I still love her.

Fuck, I love her even more, because now my desire has amplified, but in the end, I could only watch her from afar.

That’s why when Sabrina looked at me...

When she said:

"You’re special to me."

I immediately agreed to become a Wunder.

To become a vampire.

To have that power.

To finally be someone.

But I forgot one thing.

Vampires aren’t strong.

They’re hungry.

And desire...

Desire devours you.

I wanted Lynn? I intended to kill her boyfriend.

I wanted to be loved? I killed innocents.

I wanted to be exceptional?

Look at me now.

Lying in my own shame, unable to get up.

My friends... my victims... discussing how to hide me.

Because even as a monster...

I’m still the weak link.

I feel a hand on my forehead.

Cold.

Sabrina.

"You’re still fighting yourself," she whispers.

I want to scream.

I want to cry.

But I only whisper, in the limbo of my mind:

"I don’t deserve their forgiveness."

Yet...

When I hear Kaiser grumble, "Fucking hell, we’re all going to end up in jail because of this idiot"...

...But never suggest abandoning me...

Maybe...

End Of POV