The Ogre Strength Fairy and the Eldest 'Son'
Chapter 199 - We All Break Things Because Of How Much We Love Someone. No, Just Me?

Chapter 199: Chapter 199 - We All Break Things Because Of How Much We Love Someone. No, Just Me?

The suggestion to go out and walk carried a sort of understanding. Whatever her El was going through could be aided by a change of location. Staying somewhere with privacy would be a problem, as each might want to extend it... but letting the cute girl walk out and be *seen* next to her?

’It sounds vain to say or think about it, but that should improve her mood.’

Elua nodded. Of course, the girl lacked any shame of vanity in that regard. It only made sense that being seen out in public with her husband-wife would fix almost anything. It was only a shame that it was night so they would be less visible!

She took one last look at the reddish-blonde toddler, taking shallow breaths in quickly peaceful sleep, before letting herself be led out. Light sources from the surroundings danced with every shadow and flicker. They walked out of the Goltbred area and between the many rows of tents.

The swordswoman’s stride remained unhurried, letting the heiress decide any changes in direction. She was already accustomed to letting her wife’s shorter legs keep easy pace. Tendrils of her spirit maintained gentle contact to comfort and monitor the emotions beneath Elua’s restored facade.

"I mentioned to you that I was teaching her shapes."

The ’sweet’ voice carried traces of earlier melancholy despite the brave face. Qat squeezed the small hand in hers, sensing there was more to come. The Yecine had learned that little gestures like that could egg her on even without asking follow-up questions directly.

"She grabs at them like..."

A ripple of ’uncertainty’ passed through their connection as the brunette trailed off. It wasn’t that she couldn’t articulate it. Elua just didn’t like how it would make her sound. The taller girl glanced down at mint eyes looking distantly above the horizon, not yet filled with stars.

"Like what?"

A low voice broke the silence quicker than usual. She hadn’t talked to her all day. This time, Qatrand felt like pushing when usually she could almost wait forever. Watching that face until the girl’s lips helplessly revealed her thoughts...

"Like everything is wonderful and new. Even very simple things. I sometimes think about how that must have been what you were like at that age. Maybe even how I was."

The fragment in Qat’s chest caught the sharp edge of ’regret’ in those words. The brunette shook her head and guided them toward the edge of the grounds. Low wooden fencing had been erected in sections, with thin copper plating as decorative post caps.

The entirely artistic modifications caught the evening lights in subtle ways while also adding a satisfying gleam during the daytime. Her wife had made the addition with ’Goltbred’ funds, making use of many idle mortals and cultivators that had come to the grounds as workers.

The heiress reached up and touched one of the polished surfaces. She had always preferred the weathered form, but expected more children and adults visiting to be impressed with the shiny version. Another twinge of negativity rippled out.

"El..."

"I know it’s foolish. But watching her learn basic things makes me wish..."

The ancient cultivator’s voice lost its sweetness, falling into that familiar monotone.

"Makes you wish what?"

"That I could have been there. To see you discover the world that way. To protect you from..."

The sound of splitting wood traveled as her hand gripped a little too hard, but it didn’t travel far. She wasn’t so far in her thoughts that wrapping them in privacy had skipped her mind. A body moved behind her and calloused fingers brushed across her forehead and nose.

"Are you always so angry when you protect someone? The post did nothing wrong. At least not to me."

Qat had brought her palm up to cover her eyes while pulling her slightly into an embrace. Being admonished for destruction of property hadn’t been planned!

"Y-you don’t know. Maybe it looked at you like it was going to do something."

"It doesn’t have eyes."

"...Well, *you* certainly have a mouth and a brain."

The swordswoman’s soft chuckle vibrated against the back of her head. The tendrils of spirit wrapped tighter around the smaller girl’s limbs in response to her embarrassed ’frustration’. Though the illusionist couldn’t help but notice they didn’t pull any tighter on the wrist at fault.

"I wonder if your urge to protect me from an inanimate object is really just an excuse."

Elua’s dull eyes closed behind the hand still covering them. Her own fingers unclenched from the damaged post and found their way to her beloved’s wrist.

"I don’t need excuses, I can admit to you I was at fault. I just got carried away thinking about it. About all the things you went through while I was still busy being reborn."

Often she wished she was at least born in the same year. Too often the same day, minute, and second! A brush of lips against her hair made her spirit flutter.

"You get lost in thoughts often when you’re with Onya, don’t you?"

"Mm. Teaching her makes me think about what it means to guide someone from their earliest moments. To be there for all their firsts. It’s... different from what I used to do."

The reincarnator’s voice was heavy with a weight beyond her apparent years. In her last life, most disciples were already over fifteen. They had a core of ego, though often it was maltreated due to their life experience.

Fingers traced idle patterns on Qat’s wrist. Her precious gem had also been mishandled. The fear of being found out as a reincarnator, being disliked by the one she loved, and so many other blocks had kept her from acting out in the early days of knowing each other.

"Sometimes I catch myself wondering who taught you to speak. What stories you heard before bed. If anyone ever sang to you..."

A pulse of ’understanding’ filtered through their connection as Qat caught the direction of her thoughts.

"You were upset about my mother earlier."

A soft redness grew on the otherwise placid cheeks due to her correct answer. Her fortress was the best~

"I was. I am. You’ve never complained, but she should have been there for those moments. Should have seen how amazing you’ve become."

The ancient cultivator felt her beloved’s tendrils quiver with ’surprise’ at her raw honesty.

"I found myself imagining what she might have been like. How her presence might have helped. If she would have approved of me. Of us."

The blonde hadn’t expected such a direct admission of these feelings from her wife. Though the longer they stayed quiet... the more she found it reasonable. Her El may have more experience, but that didn’t mean she was immune to things like this.

’That time she slipped and struck out Yatrel’s memory comes to mind. She mentioned feeling something similar.’

For the brunette, this desire was another strange difference in their relationship from those of her past. She had a set of parents this time that - if she was genuine without fooling herself - she actually hoped would *never* make a big deal out of the ’truth’ of their relationship when it came out. At least when Elua succinctly clarified all the facts she knew to prevent misunderstandings.

That wasn’t something she had to think about in the past...

She had given up on Anper actually liking her - and because she had known from their first meeting that he had *some* role in putting Qatrand er Yecine through abuse, she mostly hadn’t cared from the start. But that desire to be ’blessed’ seemed to extend to the missing party in it all... a mother-in-law.

This time the Goltbred just couldn’t shake the ’what if’. Yatrel would learn eventually, both were sure. The ’older’ teenager could honestly say that she had neglected thinking about it until now. What the mother she never met would think of her El.

"I suppose my imagination isn’t very reliable, but isn’t it fine to think she would have approved?"

The one being consoled turned in place to face her fortress. The hand that was covering her face was now running through the back of her hair. Elua’s chin pressed near Qatrand’s sternum before reaching up to touch her cheek. She gazed up at the one who cherished her, trying to hide her content.

"You make it sound quite simple."

Eyelashes twitched and fluttered around the pigeon-blues... the sensation of soft, warm fingers on her face after days of training and being ’stuck’ at the Yecine camp was *healing*. The swordswoman was sure she had rushed over to comfort, not be comforted.

’Well... maybe there’s no problem. Why not both?’

Qat briefly breathed in with closed eyes before looking down again.

"The only mother figure I really know well is yours."

"I know. Yatrel can be quite intense."

"You’re one to talk."

The reminder of her own nature drew a weak, dull laugh from the brunette. Fingernails scratched softly at the blonde’s temple.

"Well, others could say I learned from her. I’m sure those who saw me talk to that brave young man at the wedding think so."

In fact, she had heard more than one person compare her to the duelist because of the pale face and quick retreat of that admirer. Cultivators have good ears, after all.

"I have no complaints with that label if the worst of others know I love you and to... stay away."

"I don’t think there is anyone in the city that hasn’t heard of our wedding."

Not many from The Ironclad Order brought it up, but Qat had encountered people willing to gossip directly to her in recent weeks. Every time those bold people dared to ask if they were really in as much love as it sounded... the Yecine would always respond with ’More than your rumors.’

But she hadn’t told her cute wife about that yet. Not for any real reason at first, but after the fifth time she started to wonder if her words would somehow reach the heiress of their own accord. A little romantic experiment that she still held hope for.

"Flatterer."

Unable to help herself any longer, another small hand reached up. Both sets of fingers started to play with her husband-wife’s earlobes.

"I think your mother would have loved you more sensibly than I do. It’s nice to think she would approve, but in my experience... the depth of my feelings is rarely appreciated by ’outsiders’."

"It’s appreciated by me."

The fingers stilled and dropped to the strong shoulders. Her wife’s face buried itself into her clothing as she felt her spirit implode.

"I don’t know what relationship I would have had with the person who birthed me. At this point in my life, it’s hard enough to imagine the future with real details and not fabricated ones."

There was a confidence in her low voice as it vibrated into the girl’s ears, heart, and mind. When the Yecine spoke like this, the Goltbred felt she could listen for a whole extra hour past the usual infinity!

"El. I’ve never told you, but Yatrel... mother has only complained to me once about my behavior with you since our wedding."