The Ogre Strength Fairy and the Eldest 'Son'
Chapter 132 - A Tremble That Flees At The Devoted Beat Of Your Heart

Chapter 132: Chapter 132 - A Tremble That Flees At The Devoted Beat Of Your Heart

The lengths that she was willing to consider going for revenge when scorned or stolen from used to genuinely alarm her acquaintances - and burned more bridges in that life than she built. Of course, that was mostly because the ancient cultivator lived her gray moralled life attracted to the side of ’good’ behaving people where possible.

Yet, while the silent promise she remade just then - and the clearer declarations she once wrote on paper for the quietly listening Yecine - probably wouldn’t be looked at any more *kindly* by those who once knew her, it mattered little. Nothing mattered more to her this time than the safety and longevity of the one she loved.

’This is hardly a new idea, but for all my memory... I cannot recall feeling *this* strongly about it.’

That idle consideration reminded her again just what kind of story she was in the middle of telling. Her devotion fueled her, but at times it also unraveled her. The spiritual wasteland she had turned the cluttered dining room into was a prime example, but it was relatively tame against the totality of choices.

Mint eyes refocused on Qat and let her presence push away all fears. The swordswoman had been made acutely aware of the cosmic forces her young wife would untangle and resolve for her sake. At least, she had been gifted a letter with *some* amount of emotion about it.

However, the spirit fueling the promises hadn’t dared contain more than the merest fraction of her genuine sincerity over the ’ridiculous’ claims. Because she knew *just* how experiencing that could affect someone - and each day it felt like the breadth and depth of that love was still growing for Qatrand er Yecine, becoming more and more dangerous... in a sort of way.

"One day, they returned badly injured from a situation that was... too familiar. It was like things were trying to happen to me the same way again. I couldn’t shake the fear of losing him too."

There were few things she’d ever done that she genuinely regretted for *both* the logic of trying and the failure of ’plan’ behind it. Some of her ’shame’ tinged spirit yanked away from its mingling with her ’fortress’ and her voice dropped to a whisper.

"So, I... I did something I’m not proud of to him."

She wanted her partner to remain alive, which means he had to stay safe. The only way to make sure, in her mind, that they wouldn’t get into overly dangerous situations was to stay by their side. But making them not take off to save someone the moment she rested her eyes...

"I used my spirit to influence them. To make them pay more and more attention to me. To make them stay closer to home."

The blonde listened carefully, understanding that the ’problem’ must have occurred here. After all, her wife was trying to withdraw away from her again. Her hand tightened on the girl’s fingers in gentle encouragement, but for a little while the storyteller could only open and close her mouth.

"At first, it seemed to work. They were more attentive than before. They started to leave my side less. But over time, I noticed... changes. He became... much different than I’d wanted."

"Different how?"

Qat tilted her head and asked the question softly when the brunette clammed up once again. She was getting a desire to hug the cute girl to her chest, but she wanted her to finish the tale first so that her El might enjoy it more.

"Less caring about anything that wasn’t *me*. The very qualities I’d fallen in love with in him began to fade. Their courage that used to surge when others were in danger no longer-"

As a violent ’condemnation’ rippled through her for that mistaken attempt at spiritually *controlling* her romantic interest, the dull set of mint eyes closed tightly. Not using her Astralism where possible on her partner was an extension of that... and even the trade of spiritual fragments had once frightened her for a number of centuries.

"By the time I realized what I’d done, it was too late. They weren’t the same person anymore."

As unlikely to be pretty as she felt it might be, Elua couldn’t help but want to experience how her facade would be speaking about this. Her eyes almost instantly watered even as they grew in luster and her quiet but hoarse voice started to continue. She regretted it immensely!

"People change, but this... was *damage* in a way that I couldn’t- I’d... I’d essentially destroyed who they were. All because I was too afraid of having them stolen from me again. It was like... I... killed them myself."

She freed her hand and started to wipe at her cheeks, but after a few frantic motions her wrist was held. A bit of ’frustration’ poked at her as the Yecine wiped at them with more care than the person herself. It was usually so easy for the delusion of behaviors to be stripped when she became emotional, but it resisted!

Once it was finally ’subdued’, and the swordswoman stopped staring at her like she had some *complaints* to voice... Elua’s monotone pleaded her case once again.

"That’s why I’m so afraid of restricting you, Qat. I never want to change who you are, even unintentionally. I’d rather face being on my own from time to time than risk losing the person I love to my own selfishness."

Her spirit trembled as she awaited her husband-wife’s reaction. Even knowing that it had been surprisingly calm - and of the promises to accept her in those vows only days ago - the part of her that had been rejected before wouldn’t leave well enough alone. A sigh escaped the lips of Qatrand that made her tense.

"You know, El... you’ve already been changing me since the moment we met. You can even say you killed who I might have been."

"That’s not-"

The tall girl gently pulled the unguarded teen closer, wrapping her gradually in her arms and turning her to the side - so that the brunette’s ear could rest against her firm muscled chest. A hand stroked her hair after planting another quick kiss on the brown locks.

’She joked the morning after our wedding, that I could owe her one for every hour I’m gone from her side. I need to get through them quickly, so that some I choose to give are not seen as paying my debt. Or else the number I owe might keep rising? Maybe that was her plan...’

Elua had grown surprisingly quiet and docile during the change of positioning. Yatrel had explained once that small children could be calmed by the sound of a heartbeat. It didn’t seem like too much of a stretch to her that an adult... or whatever one wanted to consider her wife to be, could be treated similarly.

"Yes, it’s not the same and it wasn’t funny... currently. I can see how much it pains you. The comparison in jest was insensitive."

It had not been the first time that her humor tilted towards the macabre. She almost wondered where it came from, as the Yecine did not make light of death and neither did most any cultivator. Qat resolved to be careful with that behavior.

"My wife, I should have simply told you that I appreciate your willingness to share the fear with me - and its origin."

Being talked to and ’handled’ like this might feel demeaning to most cultivators she ever knew - and some high strung mortals - but it was exactly the kind of indulgence that the heiress craved... as long as it was coming from her Qat. As much as she tolerated being babied when she was smaller by her parents, they were always moments ’withstood’ and not *enjoyed*.

"I have fears about you too."

The words were spoken just as coaxingly as the rest, but it still made the reincarnator’s fingers grip the fabric of black blazer. The blonde noted the spike of distress the simple words caused, but did not rush her words.

"Sometimes, when I face problems that seem beyond me, my first thought is to rely on you. To turn to you for a knowledgeable solution. To use-"

"I am well aware that you would never think of me as a tool, so if you desire to appropriately use my knowledge as if I were, that is not something I would complain about."

The words were spoken so directly and unflinchingly in that monotone that the Yecine could almost tell they were rehearsed... or had been used more than once. On some level, that irked her. Whether it was more jealousy or a different feeling, she couldn’t currently say.

"I will keep that offer in mind. But, I need to grow on my own - and learn to solve things adequately."

"I know. I want that for you too."

With the conversation taking this sort of turn, the girl felt like she would have a better time of things. Her emotions were quite stable. When she blinked for a while and the mint eyes of her facade weren’t leaking... her lecturing tone took its turn on the stage.

"Just don’t think I am unwilling to do what you need me to, Qat. Please... also grow to recognize that my ways are not perfect. I only do what I’ve learned to do, the same as you."

On the one hand, it was hard to argue with someone who has lived so long when they tell you they haven’t developed all the best answers. On the other, there was what happened to the Goltbred’s... to their little home.

"I’ll work on that... if you work on recognizing that you might be a better person than you were allowed to be before."

"Well, that’s easy enough to say, but-"

"Elua. I don’t really know or care what might be perfect. Your past life seems to have had many bad things in it that I can’t even imagine. Right now... mine has you. Whether you still think you are bad or good, that doesn’t change that you are my best thing."

’Hnng~~~’

After she tensed from the emotional gong that her ’fortress’ just rang, the heiress let her whole body melt further into the embrace. Her face tried to hide inside the outer jacket of her husband-wife and her arms lazily clutched around the blonde’s waistline. The steady pounding she could hear was too loud and rapid now... clearly being her own heartbeat!

Even though she knew that it was a risky position - she just couldn’t help how utterly ’defeated’ she had just been~