The General's Wife Wants to Leave
Chapter 74: Principles of life

Chapter 74: Principles of life

’I don’t want to have children. I don’t want to be a mother.’

The firm statements, which were directly voiced out without any sliver of hesitation by the woman before him, rang in his head.

The serious and cold expression that was clearly shown on her face was definitely an indication that she did not tell jokes.

For a moment, Canillas could not utter any words as a response. He could only stare at the woman, who stared at him with the same intensity, as if challenging him, who would back down first.

Their current situation, even the atmosphere around them, reminded him of their first meeting when she knocked him out with the shocking request of marriage annulment.

He knew how serious their situation was, as until now she still stood on her ground to have their marriage annulled, even though she would think more than twice to bring up that topic ever again after he gave her a stern, ultimate warning in the deep forest. However, it was not hard to sense her unwillingness to give in to her overt and persistent intentions.

Considering that, it only meant that she would stand by her firm statement not to have children with him.

He was still unable to tame her, making her embrace their unavoidable relationship as a married couple.

It made him wonder if he was really a great general, as many people call him, just like how the old lady, Mrs. Powel, looked so astonished before admiring him when knowing he was General Canillas von Rodega of Archess, who had saved her kingdom from the invasion of another empire.

Many people had shown him the same expression of admiration every time they saw or met him. But it was an exception for the woman, whom he called his wife.

Nevertheless, at the moment, Canillas did not want such acknowledgement from his wife, as he was her husband and not a general to be admired in their marital relationship.

What he wanted was her recognition and admission of him as her husband.

He was not sure anymore why she was still firmly standing on her ground, adamantly showing her resistance to accepting him even after what he had done for her.

He did not abandon her. He still came to find her, even after finding she had left his mansion. He also still came to find her, even after she asked him to return to Archess by himself.

He did not want her to return what he had done to her in the same way as a gesture of gratitude, as what he had done for her was simply to show his responsibility, apart from how attractive she was in his eyes. He just wanted her to accept their marriage and be willing to walk down the marriage pathway with him.

Canillas wondered, what was hard about that?

But he knew one thing during his interaction with her, although he had only met her twice. He had to be patient, as it was the only thing he could do if he wanted to settle on the decision that he had made, which was to bind her in the marriage with him no matter how persistent she was to end their marriage.

"Can you please tell me why, Joanna?" Canillas asked in a calm tone, leaning his head back on the bedpost after pulling away right after he heard her make another shocking statement.

’Was it because of that man that you did not want to have children with me?’ Canillas asked inwardly.

He had tried to push the thought aside, but he could not lie if he doubted that his old perspective about one’s past could work at the moment.

It would be a relief if the answer was no. What if the answer was yes?

However, recalling how much she would do to persuade him in order to make her goal accomplished, what if she said yes to something that was a no?

Therefore, Canillas held back from asking her about that. Remembering how insane she was to lie and hurt her own body in order to win over the battle with him, it was only likely that making another lie statement in order to make him change his mind was really nothing for her.

Meanwhile, Joanna shrugged her shoulders at the inquiry aimed at her. She answered, "It is just that I don’t want to be a mother and have children. It is enough for me to take care of these orphans." Joanna reasoned without any burden, as if it were her real principle that was bore for a long time.

"I believe that is not the real answer, Joanna." Canillas smiled. His expression was calm, not even changing his lax position when talking to her. He spoke further,

"As far as I know, there are no women in the world who do not want to have their own children. Even infertile women would struggle and do anything that exceeded their fates. It is because of how much they want to bear a child in their womb, as much as they want to be a mother. Women would do anything to get pregnant, to have children who made them mothers," Canillas stated his logic, although he knew that the cold-hearted woman before him was not blind to that fact.

"Then, tell me your real reason now, Joanna," Canillas demanded, not changing his calm demeanor.

He somehow realized that, apart from trying to be patient in handling his enigmatic wife, there was no need to discuss the matter with his veins bulging with her, as he knew that what they were discussing now was only being made up by her as one card under her sleeve to reach her goal.

Joanna was silent at the moment. She could only bring her gaze downward.

He was right. No woman in the world did not want to have their biological children. She also wanted to hold her own children in her arms.

However, she really did not want to have children with the man who pestered her to say the real reason, which she was unable to reveal. She was afraid to bear the killing pain, like Joanna experienced in the dream.

Losing the child who was the treasure of one’s heart was really killing. Even if she imagined it herself, putting herself as Joanna in the dream, she was sure that she could not live by bearing that incurable broken heart.

She knew that if she told anyone about the dream, most of them would say that it was only a dream and not something to be concerned about. They might also say that she was ridiculous and making no sense if she was afraid of a dream and not able to differentiate between a dream and reality.

However, Joanna, who had experienced the dream, could not simply think that it was only a mere dream until now, even though it had happened quite a while ago. There was something inexplicable inside her, saying that she was part of the dream and pulling her in when she wanted to step out to face reality.

She could ignore it and accept it as a mere dream that would not come true if she tried hard. But what if it was not a mere dream but a vision that would happen no matter how much she tried to change her fate to save the life of her child if she happened to have one with the man before her? If it was not a vision, what if it was the occurrences in her previous life that would repeat in this lifetime?

He could only ask to have children with her, but how if he was the one who was involved in the loss of their child, like what she saw in the dream?

She still believed that people tended to change. He might look out for her not only in their first meeting but also in this second meeting. But what if he changed after he got what he wanted from her, leaving her and her son in a miserable life?

No. Joanna was not ready for that. She did not want to shatter like Joanna in the dream.

Therefore, Joanna chose to be a loser this time, choosing a safe pathway to not bring the child, her son, whom she saw in the dream, to experience what he experienced in the dream. He was just too beautiful and too pure to have a miserable life as their son. She wanted him to be happy somewhere else in this lifetime.

Hence, as long as she was still bound in a marriage with him, she chose not to bear any children.

"What I said before is the real reason, Sir Canillas. It is just me who may be weird, to be different from most of the women out there. I am totally fine with no children to call me mother. If I want to, I can ask any kid here, including this little boy, to call me mother," Joanna commented, bringing her gaze to Liam before looking back at him and saying,

"So, for me, there is no need to get pregnant in order to be a mother. I have regarded all the children here as my own. If you don’t trust me because I said that I am a liar, then I can’t force you to believe me." Joanna reasoned her not-true reason in a tone that sounded to weigh no care of the matter at all.

Upon hearing her reason, Canillas could only chuckle. He was not wrong in regarding her as an intriguing woman. Her enigmatic behavior never failed to amuse him.

"Well, it is an honor for me to have a wife who is different from other women out there. Even her way of thinking really shows that she is special and exclusive. What a lucky man I am to have you as my wife, Joanna." Canillas chuckled after conveying his sarcastic remark. He added,

"It is good to know that this is not your other method to have me agree to annul our marriage. Because if it is, then it will only make you end up in another disappointment." Canillas continued with his sarcasm, smiling calmly over the conversation. He said more,

"To remind you that, as an understanding husband as I always want to be, I am willing to respect your exclusive principles in life. If you don’t want to have children, then I won’t force you. Let’s get older together without our own blood and flesh. Don’t you think it is more romantic for us to live together without being disturbed by children?" Canillas stated. The smile never left his face.

At the irony of his words, Joanna nodded her head. "Thank you for your understanding, Sir Canillas," she simply said, eager to end the conversation that made her heart hurt as soon as possible.

Growing older together without having biological children. Joanna wanted to know if he really could do that, although she knew that what he said was only an irony to respond to her not-real reason.