THE BILLIONAIRE'S CRYBABY
Chapter 241: THERAPY

Chapter 241: THERAPY

"Fay! You’re here again. Please come in, and take a seat." Doctor Vera’s face lit up on seeing Fay.

She gestured to the seat across from her, and Fay nervously sat down.

Placing her shaky fingers on her laps, she adjusted on the chair.

"How are you doing this morning?" Doctor Vera asked with a smile on her face.

"A little nervous," she replied truthfully.

"I can tell, but why? I thought after a month of coming here, you’d be more free with me. Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"Oh no, it’s not you," she shook her head. "It’s me. I still haven’t wrapped my head around the fact I’m actually doing this," she explained.

"Because you pushed aside the need to for a very long time?"

"Yeah, that. And something happened this morning that has me questioning my progress."

"Really?" The doctor picked up her notepad, and a pen. "Tell me what happened," she urged.

Fay sighed, and reclined into her seat. She had come into therapy for one purpose, but it seemed like another purpose was rearing its ugly head.

"So my daughter started school today," she began after contemplating the best way to begin the narration.

"Dream right?"

"Yes, Dream," she smiled. "Before she left, she picked up a picture of her father, her grandmother gave to her, and spoke to it. She told him how much she missed him, and how she couldn’t wait for him to return, so he would be the one to drive her to school."

"That’s a good thing, isn’t it?"

"Not really. But like I said before, I came into therapy because I wanted to remember my parents. I don’t feel complete walking around with this gap in my memory. I really didn’t want to talk about my child’s father," she said solemnly.

"You mentioned that when we first began, but I have a different perspective. Do you mind me sharing it with you?"

"Sure." Fay’s brow furrowed, causing her eyes to squint in anticipation of what the psychologist was going to say.

"In our last two meetings, you’ve mentioned your inability to express strong emotions through tears, despite the fact you used to be referred to as a crybaby. I don’t think it’s tied to your missing memory of your parents. Instead, it is tied to your conscious decision not to remember your child’s father," she explained.

It did make sense in Fay’s head, because she had thought the same thing too.

Despite the alignments of their thoughts, she still did not want to think or talk about Ace.

"Tell me his name," the doctor pushed, when she didn’t respond.

"Ace. Ace Atticus," she replied.

"Good. Now tell me what happened with your daughter this morning."

Fay took a deep breath, before she continued.

"She left for school, and I sat on her bed. My eyes went to the picture, and naturally, I picked it up out of curiosity. But I couldn’t bring myself to look at it, or even think of him. I’m quite indifferent about him at this point, so why do I feel this way?"

"Because you’re not indifferent," the doctor stated matter of factly.

Fay’s head whipped up. "What do you mean by that?"

"Fay, you want to be unaffected by him. Justified because I’m quite certain he hurt you, even though I don’t know the full story yet. But your actions do not resonate with someone who feels indifferent about a person."

"But I do feel indifferent about him. I could care less if he skipped town on his daughter’s most important day, after hassling me nonstop because he wanted to be in her life. I don’t even care that Dream doesn’t go a day without talking to his damn picture. Clinging on to the false hope that any day now, he would walk through the door, and they’ll be united. I just wish—" she paused to catch her breath.

"You just wish?" The doctor pressed after giving her a few minutes to gather her thoughts.

"I just wish I never met him," she admitted with a sigh.

The doctor jotted some things down, before speaking again.

"Let’s scratch your memory search, and focus on Ace Atticus. I have a feeling he’s the key to your progress."

Fay scoffed in disbelief. "I refuse to believe he’s the key to anything. Ace is as good as dead to me."

"But he isn’t to your daughter. And every time she brings him up, you remember him. Just because we don’t want to remember the people that have hurt us, doesn’t mean we can just shut off our feelings, you know?"

"I know," Fay said in a defeated voice.

"Good, that’s why I want to end this session on this note, because I have an assignment for you."

"An assignment? What kind of assignment?" Fay threw her a clueless but cautious look.

"I want you to write down your feelings concerning Ace Atticus. Everything your mind says about him. Allow yourself to think about him, and write all of your thoughts down. When we meet again, you’ll read everything you’ve written, and then we can proceed from there."

Fay began to shake her head even before the doctor was done speaking.

"I don’t think I can do that. I’ve put in active measures to forget about him. All of that can’t possibly go to waste?"

"You’d be surprised at the things we can do when we are determined to actually do them. We still have two days until our next session right? I think that’s enough time to allow yourself to feel."

"Are you sure I can do this?" She asked, biting her lips nervously.

"You’re one of the strongest patients I have. You can do whatever you set your mind to do, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded.

"Now before you leave, tell me the progress you’ve made with your memories. Have you thought about hypnosis? Because that’s another route we can take for you to get your memories faster," the doctor suggested.

Fay’s fingers rubbed the side of her head, as she went into her mind.

She hadn’t made a decision yet on that front. Hypnosis just seemed too extreme to her.

"Can’t we continue with my medication route? I get these random moments where I remember certain things. I even remember my mum’s voice," she said, her eyes sparkling.

"Excellent! But if you want to speed things up, let me know, okay?" She threw her a wink.

Fay smiled in appreciation, saying a thank you in her heart to Leighton for finding her such a great doctor.

"Alright then. I’ll leave you to get to work. Have a great day, Fay."

Fay rose to her feet, and shook the doctor’s hands.

The morning sun was beginning to hurt when she stepped out of the building, and headed for her car.

When she entered her car, her eyes went to the umbrella she had left behind.

The umbrella Alexander had given to her on the day he saved her from Xylon Bass.

She had invited him for Dreams’ birthday, but he sadly never showed up.

So many things had happened in the span of those six months, she had forgotten all about her missions.

Sighing, she relaxed her head into her seat, and just stayed still for a few seconds.

Xylon Bass had not gotten the nemesis she was supposed to send his way. Her aunt had not heard from her either.

"What have you done in the last six months Fay?" She questioned herself.

"Take care of your daughter. Fill in the void her father’s absence caused, same way you did for four years. Give yourself some grace," another voice in her head replied.

Breathing in, and out, she started the car, just as her phone began to ring.

She answered, and plugged in her ear pods.

"I dropped by your office, forgetting you had a session today. How was it?" Leighton asked, as she drove out of the building.

"Another good one. But I’m skeptical about her assignment for me," she replied.

"What’s that?"

"She wants to talk about Ace in our next meeting. Not just talk about him, she wants me to write down how I feel about him. I don’t even want to think about him. How the fuck am I supposed to know how I feel about him?"

"I agree with her, Fay. I didn’t want to mention it to you before, because you made it abundantly clear that talking about him counted as a taboo. But hear me out. Didn’t you stop crying after what he did to you four years ago? Isn’t that also when the dreams you’d have, that you now realize were about your parents stopped? It’s all connected to him, Fay."

"I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m definitely not going to be thinking about him either. Bye, Leigh."

"Hey, don’t you dare hang up on me. I’m not done talking to—"

Fay hung up anyway. Everyone always took Ace’s side. Even the damn doctor that didn’t know him.

She was sick of it, and just wanted to move on from him.

Her eyes went to the card that had slipped out of her purse as she brought her phone out of it.

"To get over someone, you have to get under another right?" She muttered to herself, and smiled.