The beautiful CEO falls in love with me
Chapter 267 - 267 258 255 Fuck Your Whole Family

267: Chapter 258 Chapter 255: Fuck Your Whole Family 267: Chapter 258 Chapter 255: Fuck Your Whole Family Lin Ziwen burst out laughing, having only ever heard of the “short, poor, and clumsy” type.

Since when was “rustic, fat, and round” added to the mix?

To be fair, Zhang Bufen was quite wealthy and not particularly short.

His clothes were decent, right?

How did he get mixed up with “rustic, fat, and round”?

Of course, if you were to really push him into that category, it wouldn’t be entirely impossible.

“F*ck!” Zhang Bufen immediately regretted opening his mouth, for he had seen with his own eyes how skilled Ye Chen was at cursing someone until they vomited blood.

As expected, Ye Chen’s expression instantly turned icy as he coldly chuckled, “F*ck what?

With your pecker that can barely get it up two inches, you want to f*ck?

I think you should save your energy.

F*cking a little hen, she’d complain your thing’s been buried too much; f*cking a little rooster, he’d complain your thing can’t even pop his cherry.”

“You…” Zhang Bufen’s face turned beet red.

Clenching his teeth tightly, it took him an age to spit out just that one word.

Ye Chen must have cursed him out good again.

“What ‘you’?

Did your dad die, or did your mom die?” Ye Chen expertly pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, the same cheap Red Double Happiness, seven yuan a pack.

Then, sticking one in his mouth and smiling, he said, “Or did your entire family die?

I mean, Bufen, if your whole family’s dead, what are you doing here trying to pick up girls?

It seems this Earth isn’t suitable for you anymore.

If I were you, I’d head to Mars— the Martians welcome you!”

Pfft…

Zhang Bufen indeed spat out a mouthful of fresh blood, trembling as he pointed at Ye Chen and burst out with, “I’ll f*ck your whole family!”

“Bufen, I’m sorry to have offended you!” Ye Chen sighed helplessly, saying, “I still don’t know where my whole family is.

How about you tell me?”

Boom…

Finally, Zhang Bufen collapsed, and his male assistant quickly stepped forward to lift him up, then hurried outside.

In confrontations with Ye Chen, Zhang Bufen had never once foreseen victory.

Each time, Ye Chen would curse him until he spat blood.

Or he’d be hoodwinked in circles.

When they first met, Ye Chen tricked Zhang Bufen by claiming he was a friend of the Arab Little Prince and an Iraq arms dealer.

It scared the daylights out of Zhang Bufen.

From that point on, they were at odds.

“You’ve not improved in kung fu, but your cursing skills have sure grown extensive!” Li Ruo watched Ye Chen with an amused smile.

“Ah, if you don’t curse at people like that, they’ll look at you and think they can bully you in the future!” Ye Chen, cigarette in mouth, sat down next to Li Ruo, and Lin Ziwen quickly brought over a crystal ashtray and placed it before Ye Chen before leaving.

Ye Chen looked at Li Ruo with a grin and said, “Xiao Ruo, you gotta learn how to curse too.

How about it, shall I teach you?”

“Ah?” Li Ruo was taken aback, then quickly covered her mouth, barely hiding her shy smile, “I…

perhaps I shouldn’t.

Cursing is so vulgar.”

“That won’t do.

Encountering someone like Zhang Bufen, you can only drive him away by cursing.

Otherwise, you’ll never be able to deal with him.” Ye Chen grabbed Li Ruo’s hand immediately and said, “Come on, watch my lip movements, and follow me: F*ck… your… mom… next… door!”

Snicker…

Li Ruo immediately covered her mouth and burst into laughter, convulsing with amusement, which left Ye Chen utterly bewildered.

It was just an ordinary curse; what was so funny?

Ye Chen, puzzled, stared at Li Ruo and asked, “Xiao Ruo, what’s so funny?”

“Haha, you bad egg, who teaches others to curse?

You’re too much!” Li Ruo finally calmed down, her face flushed with laughter.

“Cursing is a form of self-defense for humans, you know?” Ye Chen said to Li Ruo, “Sometimes, cursing can cure a hundred ailments; sometimes, it can make you happy.

It’s like when you’re taking a dump, and you let go of a big one, and you feel that epic release, you don’t even need to wipe!”

“You… you’re disgusting!” Li Ruo glared at Ye Chen and said, “So you’ve elevated cursing to some kind of rational platform?

Hmph, let me tell you, cursing is wrong.

Don’t even think about teaching me!”

“Xiao Ruo, that’s where you’re wrong!” Ye Chen shook his head, saying, “Throughout history, there’s not been a single person who hasn’t cursed.

Cursing shows that you have morals, because when doing it, the curser always feels that the other person deserves it.

Who to curse, who not to curse, having that moral standard is vital.

So there’s no need to never curse.”

“So, how do you judge that standard?” Li Ruo, still smiling, looked at Ye Chen.

This rascal spoke as if he had elevated cursing to a moral sentiment, as if cursing was a very noble action.

“If you think someone deserves to be cursed, then curse them.

People like Zhang Bufen deserve it, don’t they?” Ye Chen said with a smile.

“Hehe…” Li Ruo giggled, “You say cursing can cure diseases?

Explain that!”

“Cursing can indeed cure illnesses, because it’s a way to vent emotions, especially those feelings of resentment and anger.

If you want to curse but hold it in, you often develop physical ailments.

So, when you feel like cursing, why not just go ahead?” Ye Chen was puffing on a cigarette, suddenly looking extremely serious as he said to Li Ruo, “However, cursing is a profound art, not something that just anyone can try on a whim.

There are those who end up getting slapped for it, who face lawsuits because of it, or who end up being cursed at in return—these are all outcomes of not knowing how to curse properly.

Now, having studied this, I can share with others who enjoy it.

Perhaps it could be of help when you wish to curse?”

Pfft…

Li Ruo burst into laughter once again.

This guy really had a way with words, turning the art of cursing into something that sounded so systematic.

Holding back her laughter, she said, “So you mean to say, you have quite the research on cursing?”

“Do I even need to spell it out!” Ye Chen slapped his chest and asked, “Xiao Ruo, what is your degree?”

“Hmpf, let me tell you, I hold a Doctorate in Business from Harvard University!” Li Ruo huffed.

Ye Chen immediately showed his respect, and then, puffing out his chest, said, “Actually, I too have a doctoral degree!”

“What kind of doctorate?” Li Ruo asked with curiosity, her beautiful eyes blinking as she looked at Ye Chen.

“A Doctorate in the Sociology of Cursing!” Ye Chen replied with utmost seriousness, almost making it seem believable.

Li Ruo was taken aback at first, as she had never heard of such a field, but she quickly caught on and immediately burst into laughter.

Ye Chen, cigarette in mouth, watched her laugh until her eyes teared up, and felt a deep sense of contentment inside.

Making Li Ruo this happy made him feel his presence was very necessary.

After a long time, Li Ruo finally calmed down, but her cheeks were even more flushed than before, and tears still hung at the corner of her eyes.

Ye Chen looked at her dissatisfiedly and said, “Xiao Ruo, this won’t do, having such a low threshold for laughter.”

“Hmpf, you’re the one with a low threshold for laughter.

I never laugh at the company; it’s all because of you, this bastard, who teases me!” Li Ruo glared at Ye Chen.

“Alright then, I was going to teach you a few classic cursing lines, but it seems I’d better not!” Ye Chen shook his head.

“No way, you have to share it with me!” Li Ruo immediately insisted on hearing it, and Ye Chen, smiling, asked, “Do you really want to hear it?”

“Mhm!” Li Ruo nodded, and at this moment, she found that being with Ye Chen was very joyful and blissful.

Even though Ye Chen was somewhat fickle in love, he was an extremely attentive man who knew how to protect others and provided a great sense of security.

“Listen closely!” Ye Chen cleared his throat, then took out Li Ruo’s phone and dialed Zhang Bufen’s number.

Li Ruo was still puzzled when the call connected.

Zhang Bufen was resting in the lobby downstairs, having just caught his breath and seemed to be feeling much better.

He immediately picked up Li Ruo’s call, thinking she had agreed to his lunch date proposal and said, “Xiao Ruo, have you decided to have lunch with me?”

“Zhang Bufen, listen carefully!” Ye Chen grinned and then cursed in a smooth flow, “You were calcium-deficient as a kid, love-starved when grown up, neither grandma’s favorite nor uncle’s delight.

You deserve a slap on the left cheek, a kick on the right.

When you see a donkey you kick, when you see a pig you stomp.

Born to be a cucumber, you’re just asking to be smacked!

Turned into a walnut, worth hammering!

Your life’s like a broken motorbike, just asking for a boot!

Marry a screw, begging for a twist!

I tried teaching you the sword, but you practice the saber; you refuse to train in the noble swordplay, only interested in debasement!

You shy away from the golden sword, preferring to hone your scheming ways!

Grant you the title of Sword Immortal, but you won’t take; offer you the rank of Sword God, but you refuse, adamant about being the lowlife wailing and begging!

What’s the point, really?!”

Splat…

On the other end of the line, another sound of spitting blood was heard.

Ye Chen then leisurely hung up the phone, chuckling, “Xiao Ruo, did you listen well?”

Li Ruo was already convulsing with laughter at the side.

This bastard Ye Chen truly excelled in the art of cursing.

Zhang Bufen would probably have to walk wide circles around Ye Chen from now on.

It took Li Ruo a long time to stabilize her emotions.

She stood up from the sofa and said, “I can’t anymore, I laughed off a lifetime’s worth today, nearly twisted my intestines into knots with laughter!”

“Xiao Ruo, I came here today for a reason!” Ye Chen suddenly remembered the purpose of his visit.

“What’s up?” Li Ruo sat back down and curiously looked at Ye Chen.

Turning his head to face her, Ye Chen said, “About the car bomb incident last time, I must mention that the person planning the trouble may well be inside Tianya Group!”

“Impossible!” Li Ruo immediately shook her head and said, “How could there be a traitor in Tianya Group?

It must have been the work of Si Yang Group.

Hmpf, if not them, then no one else!”

PS: Recommending an urban Special Forces novel, “Urban Demonic Special Soldier” – don’t miss this exciting read.