Sleeping With The CEO
Chapter 201: What Kids Remember

Chapter 201: What Kids Remember

Emily had often heard friends advising one another to be wary of a friends with benefits situations.

"There is no such thing, as no strings attached. That is how you catch feelings,"

"The two of you fall into bed after telling each other that it is a no feelings type of situation. But three years later, somehow you are married. You’ve got kids and you are living in a house somewhere in a gated community that you always hated, because when you passed by. It looked like the people there had no fun and excitement in their lives..." Back then Emily had not really paid attention. Unable to think of herself in such a predicament.

But now, Emily was realizing that people who gave such warnings. Even if they were well intentioned, were very wrong.

In the one night stand or no strings attached type of situations. It was not the physical act of trying to have sex without there being any emotions involved that got people caught up. What got people into trouble was actually something else.

It was the sleeping together part.

Emily, who had entered into a sleep only arrangement with one Derek Haven, could now call herself a certified expert on that front.

Sleep, just from the origins of it, was something special. To share your sleep with somebody was an intimate thing.

During sleep, was when the majority of human beings were at their most vulnerable. All of the walls that you put up during the day when you were awake were suddenly torn down.

And there was nothing left but just base instincts. All of the things that you wanted to do during the day. No longer being held back by what society considered to be acceptable and unacceptable. During sleep, the most proper acting people during the day. Suddenly turned into pigs who slept with their mouths wide open, and snored like they were trying to bring down the house. And those who were known to be cold and standoffish suddenly became the most cuddle loving people on Earth. Needing to hold someone, and be held in turn.

That was the power of sleep. It brought about the hidden truths in people.

Emily, after sharing the bed with Derek for a few weeks, had come to realize something else. Sleep did not just bring about truth in somebody who was asleep. It could also bring about truth even when you were awake.

More often than not, when that truth came out, you wanted to share it with the person who was closest to you. In Emily’s case, that person happened to be her bed partner, Derek Haven.

It was Saturday morning, and after waking up from a good night’s sleep.

Emily was just lazing in bed, next to her, Derek was doing the same.

Since they were not going anywhere. When they had woken up, they had not even bothered to try and disentangle from each other. Instead Derek had pulled Emily even closer. Now, from her place where her head was pillowed on his chest. Emily could feel the gentle beat of his heart, and it was working to calm her just as much as the sleep that she had gotten the night before had. Moving closer, she gently rubbed her nose against Derek’s chest and then she settled down again.

After staring at the opposite wall, for a few minutes, Emily cleared her throat. Not really sure what she was going to say until the words were out of her mouth.

"My dad died of cancer," The words came unprovoked, and Emily herself was even shocked that she had uttered them. Beneath her Derek had gone completely still, and rather than leave him in that awkward state, she knew that she had to do something. No doubt he was wondering whether he should press her.

Or he should pretend as though he had not heard her.

Splaying a hand over Derek’s chest. Emily continued.

"I think that somehow his death affected me. I was ten at the time.

And I remember being so unbelievably sad,"

"Back then I did not care that nightmares were keeping me awake. I had bigger worries," Emily paused in her story, remembering her younger self. The child who used to lock herself in her room for hours on end. Not sleeping, just staring up at the ceiling, and hoping that somehow. If she kept on doing that, that her dad would come back.

He never had.

Death had a tendency to be permanent. But back then, Emily had not believed that her dad would not be coming back. She had clung on to hope for as long as possible. Tapping at Derek’s rib cage, Emily carried on with her story.

"I do not actually remember what happened the day my dad died.

All that I recall is my mum telling me that he was gone,"

"The two of us just crying our eyes out in the middle of the hospital waiting room.

I do not think I have ever cried as hard as I did that day,"

Derek’s arms tightened around her in silent comfort, and Emily was quiet for a moment.

Then she continued, "I do not remember the day that he died, but what I do remember with absolute clarity is his funeral,"

"Not the people who attended or the food that was served. But I remember the way that he looked in his casket.

So still, so very cold. It had looked as though somebody had made a wax figure of my dad and put it in the coffin. I had never seen stillness like that before, and I never wanted to see it again,"

She took in a deep breath, gathering herself.

"I remember thinking to myself... if this is what death looks like, then it looks an awful lot like sleep. If I dare to sleep peacefully, is this how I will look night, after night? If I sleep and my mom comes in, will she think I am dead?"

" Back then in my little mind, that was terrifying.

Unlike now, where I am glad to get even the smallest amount of sleep, back then I was terrified to close my eyes. Scared that if I did, I would somehow join the dead without even realising it. And as the years have gone by, my mind has often gone back to those days,"

"...I wonder if I did this to myself.

What if, in trying to stay awake, so that my mom would not worry that I had died in my sleep, I accidentally chased sleep away from me forever?"

Not expecting an answer, Emily finished her story and just continued to lie there. She had never shared that little theory with anyone. But with Derek, she found the words coming easily and she was grateful that he did not say anything.

Instead, just continuing to hold her for a while. When he did speak, it was not to offer empty comfort to Emily. It was to tell his own story.

"It seems as though I had two more years on you when it came to enjoying the love of a father," He began.

"My father died when I was twelve years old..."