Sleeping With The CEO
Chapter 190: End Of The Dream

Chapter 190: End Of The Dream

Back when her father had been battling cancer, he and Emily had had a talk once. It was in the middle of the night. Back when Emily was still able to sleep, so it was unusual for her to be up at night.

Back then, her reason for being awake had been something innocent. A childish need for something sweet in the middle of the night. So she had gotten out of her bed in search of something to eat.

But once she had arrived at the kitchen. It had not been empty as she had been anticipating. Her father had been there, sitting in the dark, and upon noticing Emily, he had beckoned her closer.

Being a dad and not wanting her to worry, the man had hastily wiped at his face. But it had been too late. Emily had already seen the tears there.

"Why are you crying, Daddy?" She had asked. And he had smiled at her.

"Oh, it is nothing sweetheart. Do not let this old man disturb you. Just go about doing what you were doing," He had continued to smile even as a lone tear had made its way down her cheek.

"I will be leaving this kitchen shortly. Your mother might worry if she wakes up and I am not there," He had said. But Emily, with all the stubbornness of a nine year old, had refused to budge.

"Are you scared?’She had asked instead.

"And why would I be scared, sweetheart?" Her dad had asked.

With all the bravery of childhood, Emily had just come right out with it. "One of the girls at school told me that you are dying. Is that why you are scared, Daddy? Are you scared because you are dying?" She had asked.

Looking back at it now, her dad had handled such a direct assault like a champ. If it were Emily and she were the one faced with such a question, she would have been a quivering mess on the floor, crying her eyes out. But back then, all that her dad had done was just sigh deeply, and look at her.

"Do you want the truth cupcake?" He had asked and Emily had nodded.

"There is a very strong possibility that I will not make it through this fight. I am battling with everything that I have in me, but I will not lie, it is difficult. Cancer is very difficult to defeat,"

"But I want you to know that I am trying my best. And in regards to the question that you asked me earlier. I was not crying because I am scared of dying.

I was crying because I am scared that I’m going to be leaving you and your mother. Long before what should have been my time had things gone according to plan," Her dad had told her. Back then, Emily had only nodded, thinking that she understood.

But now as an adult she realized that she had not. She really had not.

How was her dad supposed to explain to a nine year old just what him not being there would mean? That there would be no more happy birthday Ems sang to her by both of her parents. That the little ritual where he went to pick her up from school, and the two of them spent the walk home just telling each other about their day would no longer exist

That Emily would grow from a child into a woman without her father’s guiding light there. That he would never know what she looked like as a teenager, let alone as a grown woman.

Those were the things that had been responsible for her father’s tears, for his heartache.

As an adult Emily finally understood now.

People who had done things right. Who had done their best to make sure that they handled everything that needed handling in life, did not cry because they were leaving. They cried because of who they left behind. Though the situations were vastly different.

Emily could now see that she too was having a little bit of what her dad must have gone through. But she for her part was glad that it was not anything as serious as the cancer had been. For her, her sense of loss came in regards to sleep.

From the treat on Wednesday, and then Thursday night, and Friday night, which had led to the weekend where she and Derek had barely been able to separate from one another. Just enjoying hours and hours of sleep. Being in each other’s company and just being able to close their eyes.

Letting their minds transport them somewhere else, while their bodies rested. That had been therapeutic. It was a wonderful experience. And when they had fallen asleep on Sunday night, Emily had not wanted to think on the fact that Sunday came right before Monday.

And with Monday came the responsibilities of the outside world. The two of them would no longer be able to remain cooped up in Derek’s penthouse. Just sleeping their days away. While Emily had slept, it had been so easy to forget that. To pretend like they never had to part.

That they never had to leave the little safe space that they had created together.

But on Monday morning the cry of her alarm woke her, and just when she thought that she could ignore it. Derek’s own alarm joined in, and the sound that the two of them made was unholy.

It was not something that could be ignored. And so with a heavy heart, Emily forced her eyes open. And when she did, she found Derek doing the same, blinking sleep out of his eyes with the same reluctance that Emily was doing for herself.

"I guess this is it then," He said, his voice rough, and Emily, her head pillowed against his chest, nodded slightly. "I guess it is," She said.

Laying there, Emily could not help but be reminded of her dad all those years ago.

"I am not sad for myself. I am sad because I am leaving you and your mother," He had said. And Emily finally felt a bit of that feeling.

For with the ringing of the alarm clock, she had realized something. While the fact that it was Monday, meant that she would be sleeping in her own bed. That she would laybthere gor however long it took for a nightmare to wake her was sad.

She was not sad for herself.

Emily was sad for Derek, because she was leaving him behind. And while she knew that she would at least get a little bit of sleep that Monday, Derek would have no such luck. He would be wide awake, his body not allowing him to rest. And that made Emily feel unbearably sad. Derek deserved sleep.

She was sad that she could only help him with it, a few hours each week.

"Back to reality it is then," She said, gently pulling away from him. He did not resist, but looking into his eyes, Emily could have sworn that she saw his soul scream, and she was certain that her own did the same.

Crying out for him.

But they were not in any shape to try, and push things any further. They had a world to get back to, and the world that they were going to did not care for their little problems. Sleep or not, reality awaited.