Sleeping With The CEO
Chapter 162: Guilt

Chapter 162: Guilt

Emily loved her mother. She loved that woman to bits. How could she have anything but love for a woman who had raised her single-handedly since Emily was a child? Holding it all together after the death of Emily’s father.

But as much as Emily loved her mom, she was still lying to her, and would continue to do so. It was all done in an effort to try and shield her from the struggles that Emily went through when it came to issues of sleep. But even though Emily had kept up the consistent lie for years, that did not make telling it any easier.

Nor did it make telling other lies in addition to that one any better. In fact it got harder and harder to do the longer Emily carried on. After writing her list, and boarding the bus, Emily had spent the entire ride with guilt gnawing at her gut, her mind intent on reminding her of her dishonesty. Taunting her with the fact that, by going to sleep with Derek, in order to get out of the house without her rousing suspicion, she would have to tell yet another lie.

As she had made the apartment, Emily had been torn between wanting to find her mom already at home and wanting to find the apartment empty. If she found her mom already there, then she could just get it over and done with and start getting ready to go spend the night with Derek. But if she found her mom not there, then she could use the time to come up with something, that felt more authentic. In the end, when she got off the bus and headed home, she walked into the apartment to find it empty.

Her mom was not there yet.

Seeing that she was absent. Emily had instantly wished that the older woman had arrived before her, but even as she was making that wish, she had been pretty sure that if she had arrived to find her mom there. She would have been wishing that her mom had not been in yet.

Deciding to just go with it, and face events as they unfolded, Emily went to get changed.

Clothes changed, Emily stared at her bed.

There was a high possibility that sleeping with Derek might not work in curing her nightmares. It would have been best for Emily to take a bit of a power nap. And even if she did not sleep. Just resting for a bit would have been good for her. She had earned it. Emily was very tired. There had not been a moment of peace at Haven Group the entire week. Her first week back and she was already feeling as though she had been run over by a truck, and then got worked over by a professional sumo wrestler.

But guilt was a very powerful motivator and given the level of guilt that Emily was currently experiencing, nothing could keep her down. So rather than just lazing about while she waited. Emily suddenly found herself having the energy to clean the house. So she left her room instead of getting into bed. She dusted, she wiped, she vacuumed and she even took the time to take out the plates and rearrange them until she felt that they were just right. Emily then turned her attention to her ultimate weapon when it came to apologizing to her mom without saying the word sorry.

Cooking.

And by cooking she did not mean cooking just any meal. No, she meant her mom’s biggest weakness, lasagne.

There was garlic chopped, onions diced, spices flying through the air, ground beef mixed in with everything, and some oiled pasta sheets sitting to the side waiting to be used. And once the meat was done, Emily began her layering. Once the layering was complete, she looked over at the heart-shaped cookie cutters.

But she shook her head, deciding not to use them. It would be way too obvious that something was up if she tried to serve her mom heart-shaped lasagne. So instead she went for the normal rectangular version.

Her mom came in just as Emily had the pan in her hands and was about to put it in the oven. She looked from the lasagne to Emily then back to the lasagne. Licking her lips, her mom walked deeper into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, took out a bottle of water, and took a healthy gulp. The bottle was nearly halfway done when she put it away and gave Emily a look. "In as much as I would love to say that you are just making lasagne for me because it’s Thursday, and I am your mother, I know for a fact that you only ever make it when you have done something very bad and are apologizing for it. So what is it?" She asked, giving Emily a look.

"What! Me, bad?! Never. You must have me confused with some other Emily," She told her mom, trying to go for light-hearted, but the older woman just continued to look at her, and Emily had to drop her gaze. That look made her want to do things that were very ill-advised.

Things like just coming up with the whole truth, and telling her mom that she had been struggling to sleep for years. That she had just been lying about it to spare her feelings. But Emily held herself back, fighting against the pull of her mom’s expectant look. Coming out with the truth then, especially as she was about to go to Derek’s, where salvation might be waiting, would not have done either of them any good. Knowing her mom, she would be blaming herself for somehow not realising that Emily was struggling.

The lie had started as a way to protect her mom’s feelings, and it would have to continue to be so in order to make sure that her mom was shielded. So when Emily raised her head and looked at her mom, the lie that flowed from her mouth came easily enough.

"Alright, you’ve got me. Today we were supposed to have a girls night in, just you and me, but I will not be able to make it. Something came up at work, and I’m going to be working through the night. We are going to sleep in nearby hotels there so you need not worry about me getting a good night’s rest," So far, so good.

"The project that we are working on however, is going to take a bit of time so most likely I might also leave on Friday night, and work through that night too," It was a perfectly logical and believable lie, but seeing her mom nod and easily accept it still made Emily feel like a bad daughter.

To take her mind off the awful feeling. She put the lasagne in the oven, and then pretended to fiddle with the dials to stop herself from looking at her mom.

This is for the best, Emily told herself. You are sparing her, from the pain, she told herself.

It was for the best that much she knew, but still she felt bad for being such a liar.