Reborn as a Mind-Reading Empress
Chapter 242: Fear of Not Being Good Enough

Chapter 242: Fear of Not Being Good Enough

"I see. That it is indeed quite troublesome. Did you tell him we were never too intimate? He might be misunderstanding things. My wife misunderstood so she was rather stiff and nervous every time at first. She was too pressured to be like you or beat you since I might compare. She feared she would not be good enough. I had to clarify nothing ever happened between us before she was finally able to relax and stop thinking I might be comparing," Andrew said and Arabella blinked twice.

’Ferdinand was like this too. He’s insecure and worried about everything. I already told him I never went all the way with Andrew but he was still worried.’

[I was immensely relieved she did not consummate with this man since I indeed feared being compared to him. She once loved him and possibly still does a bit so I would lose right from the start no matter what I did. And how can I not worry when she has this smooth-tongued man for a former lover? Look at him talk. He perfectly knows his way around women just like Raymond does. I am truly glad they never slept together since she wouldn’t be able to compare. But what if she would sometimes wonder what it would have been like if she had been intimate with this man instead of me?]

’It seems my husband is even more of a worry-wart than Andrew’s wife. The way he overthinks is on another level.’

Ferdinand was worried about ’what ifs’ that had not even happened. But she wouldn’t wonder about sleeping with a man she was not even interested in anymore.

In her past life, she did wonder if she would have felt the same way she did with Ferdinand if she had consummated with Andrew. But that was when she still had remaining feelings for Andrew.

And it was because her first time with Ferdinand was painful. But once her feelings were for Ferdinand, she didn’t think much about Andrew anymore. Until she realized all she thought about was her husband and that she was already in love with him, no longer with Andrew.

However, Arabella understood Ferdinand’s worries since he didn’t know that her former relationship with Andrew was more than two decades ago for her.

"Your husband looks like the possessive type so he must be worried about it. Possessive men are quite troublesome," Andrew added. "But then again, most men are. However, are you sure he isn’t too much?"

Ferdinand and Alwin both fumed at this question.

[Of course, I am. I would never ever share her. She’s mine alone.] Ferdinand just proved his possessiveness but he nervously waited for her answer.

"Sometimes, he is quite troublesome indeed. But I like him now. It couldn’t be helped. I’ll have to scold him when gets over the top."

[...]

Ferdinand didn’t know how to react anymore. He was too pleased Arabella was saying it again. That she liked him to her former lover whom he thought she still may have had hidden feelings for.

"He lets you scold him?" Andrew was surprised.

[He doesn’t look like the type that likes to be corrected. Just his aura screams that he likes to have everything his way so I was worried earlier that he might hurt Arabella further. She might not be my lover anymore but we had been good friends. I don’t want her to be treated that way.]

’I see. So that’s why he chastised Ferdinand.’ Arabella was impressed. Andrew was actually quite a good friend. It’s a pity they could no longer be friends since he was her husband’s greatest insecurity.

"Yes. I just scolded him a bit earlier."

"I see. He seems to be a prideful man. He must indeed like you a lot to let you scold him. He looked like he would kill me earlier," Andrew chuckled.

’He did notice but he’s just chuckling about it. He is indeed reckless.’

"Yes. He loves me," Arabella smiled and heard Alwin saying she was so full of herself (though he was probably the one who knows best just how much Ferdinand loves her, he was just stubborn). But Ferdinand himself was nodding earnestly saying that he does love Arabella very much so she should stop speaking with Andrew and get to him instead.

"You are so confident about it. I guess, I truly have nothing to worry about," Andrew smiled.

"Yes. Thank you for worrying about me all this time. I am truly doing well so please be rest assured. Oh, and please send my regards to your wife. And do take good care of her."

"Yes, of course. She’d love to hear this. Oh, by the way, did you like the flowers? My wife, Sera, wanted to apologize to you but she wondered if her letter would even reach you. Thus, she thought of giving a gift instead. She chose to give you the gem flowers that meant ’my deepest apologies’ since she also didn’t know how to express it."

"Why would she apologize to me? There was nothing to apologize for," Arabella tilted her head.

Andrew scratched the back of his head and looked away before replying. "She knew you kept sending me letters for a while so she felt guilty. She felt like she stole me from you."

"Oh my goodness! How embarrassing. Please tell her to forget about the past. I was still hurting then and I was childish to have sent you such tormenting letters. But I have also moved on now. I’m the one who should apologize for bothering you two when you were already married and on your honeymoon."

Arabella was horrified to recall something she did in the past that was too embarrassing to her now that she had the mind of someone in her forties.

She called Eunice so she could also prepare a gift for Andrew’s wife. It was so embarrassing to be reminded of her childish act. As far as she could recall she had said a lot of mean things in those letters.