Chapter 21: Child labour is a thing

Riku’s recipe has been a big hit with Tsunade, especially since he had marinated the duck into some high quality sake. As such she ordered him to make it more often. Afterwards Riku began his hundred page quiz under her watchful eyes while she got a shoulder massage by one of his shadow clones. He had to admit, he didn’t think there would be so many questions and it took one hour more than what he expected. That didn’t put a dent in his confidence however and just as he believed, he got full marks. Tsunade was both pleased and impressed. Most people failed that first quiz, with a very few reaching the 80+ in score but never reaching 90. That Riku got a 100 without even really struggling really hit home that taking him as her apprentice was the right choice. They both went to bed afterwards.

When morning came, Riku welcomed a dead tired Shizune and a still going Karin who had followed her as the Senju Manor was closer to the hospital than her apartment. ‘Uzumaki’s stamina is bullshit’ he had thought but made no comment. He dragged his senpai towards the bathroom where he had started a hot bubble bath for her and offered Karin his room to take some rest. When Tsunade came out of her room, Riku did his very best to not look at her. It was the hardest part of his day. Why? Because she refused to dress appropriately for breakfast. Even with a new wardrobe who fit her new assets better, there was still a lot on display. Shizune had reprimanded her again but their sensei argued ‘That’s seduction training for Riku’.  Both her apprentices knew it was bullshit but couldn’t really refute her argument. Tsunade just cared more about wearing anything she wanted than Riku seeing her. Thus the dirty blonde learned to not look in his sensei’s direction or if he had too, to keep his eyes focused on hers. He knew she was teasing him on purpose with how amused and smug her smile was but he never said or did anything. He did think she was acting like a bitch and dreamed of retribution. The memory of a black haired Uchiha flying up with a smoking butthole was replaced by a blonde Senju from time to time.

Now that she was Hokage, Riku’s practical training was supposed to start. Not only this one but also his training as a shinobi. They had discussed at length what kind of shinobi he wanted to be, what he wanted to work on and what he needed to work on. They both agreed that the first thing they needed to take care of was his Taijutsu. While not needing to be an expert he needed a style other than the Academy one. It was good for basics but beyond that he needed something that suited him. She had tested him on his chakra control and once again was impressed when she found out it was close to hers at his age. As such she decided to teach him her superstrength. Riku agreed to it because blowing shit up was something that could be very useful but against people he was leaning more toward the gentle fist style. Explosion from the inside. His Medical Fist or Iryoken, formerly Boobie Expansion Jutsu because Tsunade refused to have an apprentice having a Jutsu with a perverted name, was the kind of Taijutsu he wanted to use and master if he could. Something based on speed more than on strength. After all, he would only need to scratch his opponent to have a devastating effect; there was no need to hit hard.

After thinking about it, Tsunade agreed with his idea. However it would need to come later. The requirements for the Iryoken were more complex than her technique and there were plenty of things to study beforehand. Determining what exactly happens to the cells, the speed of the division and turning the cell cancerous because so far it was only healing. Still, a Taijutsu style that could destroy or heal its target was something worth exploring and may allow more medic-nins in the field.

“Riku, we’re going!” she said as she sat at the manor’s entrance putting her short heels on.

“I’m coming, sensei!” came Riku’s voice from the kitchen. He was finishing making a snack for when Shizune and Karin would wake up.

Rushing out of there, he quickly reached Tsunade’s side and left with her. Instead of shushining to the hospital, they simply walked down the village’s streets. Tsunade greeted the people she met along the way with a simple ‘Hello’, ‘Good Morning’ or just a nod. All with a smile on her face. Of course once her eyes were not on an individual, that individual would give Riku the usual glare or sneer.  He did notice that there were less than usual in number as some of the villagers were just confused as to why he was walking alongside Tsunade. After fifteen minutes of walking, Tsunade took a turn at the corner which would lead them away from the Hospital.

“We’re not going to the Hospital, sensei?”

“Nope. We’re going to my office.” she nonchalantly replied.

“What do you need me for, if I may ask?” was his question instead of talking about the start of his training.

“As my apprentice, you’re my assistant. In all matters including-”

“Paperwork.” he said, cutting her off, understanding where she was going with this.

“Yep.”

“If I didn’t know you any better, sensei, I’d say you just like to mess with and torture me. Fortunately I do. Wait, no, I don’t.” he joked, making her laugh.

“Me? You’re delusional.”

“Uh-huh. What are you doing in the morning but torturing me then? And don’t say training! Nobody believes it.” he added before she could feed him that excuse.

“Every single man in the world would kill for a sight like that, why are you complaining?”

“Because, hormones or not, I’m not a pervert?”

“Give it time.”

“I hope not.” he muttered, then his mind switched back to paperwork. “Is it really okay for me to assist you? Some documents may be above my clearance.”

“It’s fine, I’ll just punch you to forget.”

He simply rolled his eyes instead of answering. He knew that if he did she would just entertain herself with other statements like this one to get him to react. Finally they reached the Hokage Tower and went straight to her office. Tsunade sat at her desk and did nothing for a minute. She just sat with her hands clasped together and resting on the desk.

“Sensei?”

“Hm?” she grunted not looking at him.

“Aren’t you… Supposed to work?”

She didn’t give him an answer. Instead she looked at the clock on the adjacent wall , raised her hand and lowered a finger each second. When her hand formed a fist, the door of the office and Hisho-san walked in with a mountain of paperwork in her arms.

“Good morning, Hokage-sama!”

“Good morning to you too Hisho-san.”

Riku gave a small bow to the secretary but said nothing. She put her pile of paperwork on Tsunade’s desk and left, closing the door behind her.

“What I need you to do is organize this…” she spoke while looking at Riku but put her hand on the paperwork. “Pile of shit. What’s important and what’s not.”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Separate them first by ninja and civilian affairs. If there is even a brief mention of anything ninja related it’s in the ninja pile, even if all the rest is civilian.”

Riku nodded “Can I organize them further?”

“As long as I can deal with what’s important first and quickly, you can do whatever you want.” she replied with a shrug leaning back against her seat.

Not wasting time. Riku created three shadow clones then picked up his book of seals. He unsealed his coffee table and put it in the corner next to his sensei’s desk while the clones took the big pile of documents and made it into a smaller pile. They all went to seat on each side of the coffee table and began organizing them. Each Riku represented a type of document. Taxes, business, correspondence and infrastructure. When one Riku got a document pertaining to a category other than his he passed it to the Riku who did. It took ten minutes but the task was quickly done. From this point, each Riku organized their stack into two piles for shinobi and civilians. That took a bit more time because they needed to read the entire documents to be sure it wasn’t for the shinobi pile. In his opinion that was the most effective way to go about it with the current system. If he had a say in it he would organize the documents differently from the start. A civilian wanted to expand his business? He would get a form that would look nothing like the other documents that are not related to business. As such from the get go the documents would already be organized before they land on his sensei’s desk.

Nevertheless he did what Tsunade instructed him to do. It took him nearly twenty minutes to do the job but was proud of himself when he was done. When he gathered everything in the correct order he stood up and turned around to give everything to his sensei. He nearly dropped all his hard work on the spot when he saw not one but two other piles as big as the one he had in hand. Tsunade had a nasty grin on her face.

“Go on, you’ve got plenty to do.”

“... You’re evil, sensei.”

“What are you complaining about? You just have to organize them, not read them all and sign them. I got it worse.”

“Well maybe the organization should be done before you get them.”

“...I’m listening.” she said seriously, leaning forward. She was very interested in the idea if the results would mean she would spend less time working.

Riku dispelled his clones and made four others to not get too many memories at the same time. Meanwhile he discussed his idea with Tsunade. The possibility of different types of forms that would fit better the request by considering what it is about. The idea of screening the forms before she received them was put forward and she liked that very much. Plenty of forms were less community related and more personnel related. Those one could wait, after all the needs of the many, of the villages came before the needs of the few, the individuals.

“Using chakra paper for the Shinobi related issue?” inquired a not totally convinced Tsunade.

“That’s just an idea in passing but why not? We could identify the right document on the spot among a huge pile.”

“That would be more expensive.”

“If we calculate the price of the chakra paper to your time-money ratio we may actually save money in the long term. Considering that using shadow clones, which should be mandatory not only to work faster but for your safety, it’s really worth considering and not such a bad idea.” he finished and the clones put back their pile on the desk then took the other and went back to work.

“The less you’re busy working on paper work the more time you have to deal with other things. You can also delegate some duties. Maintaining the training grounds in working condition, the streets or reforming the Konoha Military Police-”

“That’s a-”

“A Uchiha privilege, but do you see any Uchiha left? Competent Uchiha, I mean. Even if Sasuke was, he wouldn’t be interested and he’s alone. Anbu can’t do everything and certainly not policing the village. They could be more useful elsewhere. As for the MP, you put someone of trust in charge that would report directly to you. Fill the ranks with both ninjas from the clans and not to have some unity. The Uchiha having that much power had been a mistake.”

“I always thought that was the case.”

“Sensei.” / ” Sandaime-sama.” Tsunade and Riku greeted Hiruzen who had come in at the same time as Hisho-san who was bringing another pile of documents.

“Recruiting from all horizons for a new Military Police is not a bad idea.”

“Perhaps. That was not the topic at hand we were discussing though.”

“No?”

“No. Riku and I were talking about a way to deal with the paperwork.”

“You had my attention, now you have my interest.”

“The idea is to have the documents organized before they arrive here. The Hokage should not have to deal with a task so mundane and time consuming when it’s about the day to day things. I was also advising sensei to delegate some duties that others could take upon themselves instead and simply report to her. If the Hokage spends more time behind a desk than training or knowing people that won’t do.”

“Hmm.” Hiruzen pondered Riku’s words. After being Hokage for nearly fifty years he was well used to the workload. Many times he wished he could do something else more productive but the possibility never presented itself. The main problem was the Uchiha or rather their positions they held in the village. By having total control on the Military Police, others clans were trying to further their standings. This created a very delicate balance that unfortunately forbade him to delegate duties for fear of upsetting the aforementioned balance. But with the Uchiha now gone, the opportunity to create a new balance was there. The problem was that this duty belonged solely to the Uchiha by his own sensei’s laws. It was considered a clan business of sorts. Had he tried to do what Riku had suggested the others clans would have protested on the spot and vehemently but with the recent assault on Konoha, an argument could be made that a new Military Police was needed which could lead to the actual support from the major clans instead of their refusal. As such Tsunade wouldn’t need to read report upon report from Anbu. And if she could delegate or redirect such an important duty to someone else, she could do so with less important ones. It was something to consider carefully. The Hokage was supposed to be the sole and ultimate authority in the village. Delegating would be sharing the power and could create some problems down the line. One thing was sure, any idea of a council should be shot down immediately. The elders were already a pain in the ass at best and a kunai in the back at worst, more would just be folly.

“Hokage-sama, they are here.” Hisho said, entering the office but staying near the door.”

“Perfect, let them in.”

Hisho nodded and familiar faces came through the door. The sight of them made Riku smile.

“Ha! Hinae, Yuuna, Gou, you’re right on time.” Tsunade said.

“““Hokage-sama.””” they all greeted though Gou and Yuuna furtively looked at Riku and his chunin jacket.

“I won’t beat around the bush. After careful evaluation, I have decided to promote you to the rank of chunin. The both of you did extremely well during the exam. You displayed skills of the body and of the mind that every chunin must possess. Congratulations.” Tsunade said with a smile. She picked a scroll from the middle drawer of her desk and retrieved from a storage seal, two chunin vests which she handed to them one after the other.

“Keep working hard for the village.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” replied Gou

“We will, Hokage-sama.” answered Yuuna.

“Wait! Don’t put them on yet. Let me take some pictures!” Riku quickly said as he took his polaroid from his book of seals.

“Why?” inquired Yuuna.

“It’s an important moment in one’s career. I took one when Saidame-sama gave me mine.” Riku explained, pulling his wallet from inside his jacket and opening it to show the photo he took at the time.

Both Gou and Yuuna took a look and their eyes widened in disbelief when they saw its title.

“Riku!” exclaimed uncharastically Gou.

“Please tell me you didn’t and it’s just a joke.” Yuuna said with worry. She prayed it wasn’t but after a month spent with the dirty blonde she knew how crazy he could be.

“Did wh- You were the one who cut sensei’s arm?!” shouted Tsunade when she read ‘Getting promoted for “disarming” the Hokage’ written on the white part right under the photo.

Their reaction made Hiruzen snort. “He did it to save my life. Orochimaru used a powerful poison and it was the only way for me to survive. I’m not mad one bit, in fact I found the situation quite amusing. I still do.”

“Oh crap! I still have it!”

“What?” asked Tsunade.

“The arm! I sealed it for studying the poison later! Sensei, if we can extract the poison completely and heal the damage then-”

“Then we can reattach it! You cut it very cleanly for it to be possible!” she finished his reasoning out loud in excitement.

Tsunade created ten shadow clones and ordered them to do her paperwork. She then grabbed Riku by the collar and began to drag him out towards the hospital when the door to the office opened again.

“Hime! I’m baaa- HOLY KAMI! They’re still growing?!”

Jiraiya, Toad sage and spymaster of Konoha had his eyes popped out of their orbits when they naturally found Tsunade’s breasts. Unfortunately for him he was in the way, Tsunade was in a hurry and he made a perverted comment. To everyone’s surprise but Hiruzen’s, she punched her former teammate’s jaw so hard that his feet left the ground and his head went through the fake ceiling to be stuck there. As she left she heard Naruto.

“That’s the new Hokage?! I thought she was an old gran-”

He never finished the word ‘granny’. Tsunade, passing in front of Hisho's desk, picked up her paperweight and threw it right at Naruto’s head, knocking him out without even looking. Back in her office Hinae and her newly promoted students were frozen in shock.

“... What just happened?” Yuuna asked.

“I don’t know but that was weird.” answered Gou.

“What was? Hokage-sama punching unconscious Jiraiya-sama to the ceiling, knocking out Naruto-san with a paperweight or Riku calling her sensei?” Noted Hinae.

““...””

“You know what, sensei? For my own sanity’s sake, I’ll pretend that I dreamed all of this after getting my vest and now I’m leaving to celebrate.” Yuuna commented and took her leave, quickly followed by Gou.

Hinae looked at her departing students then shrugged. She bowed to Hiruzen and left quickly too. The former Hokage, now alone with two unconscious people,  couldn’t help himself and let out the laugh he had been holding.

‘It’s good to be retired. This is the most fun I have had in years.’