NTR Villain: All the Heroines Belong to Me!
Chapter 102: Lin Fan Goes Too Far Again

Chapter 102: Lin Fan Goes Too Far Again

A sketchy, smoke-filled basement beneath Ocean City

Lightning crackled. Bottles bubbled. Screaming mushrooms howled in the corner (they were technically part of the recipe).

Lin Fan stood at the center of it all, shirtless for no reason, goggles over his eyes, cackling like a man who had clearly lost his last three brain cells.

"This time... they’ve gone too far..."

He dramatically slammed a vial of phoenix tears into a bronze cauldron. It exploded in pink smoke. Lin Fan didn’t flinch.

"If Hei Long thinks he can just elope with my goddess... without paying the emotional damages... then I, Lin Fan, will do the unthinkable."

He spun around, arms wide, revealing a massive glowing rune on the floor, etched in blood-red ink (probably ketchup).

"Operation Divorce Beam... begins NOW!"

Flashback: Twelve Hours Earlier

Lin Fan sat under a table at the sect tavern, drinking soup out of a boot.

Prince Wuheng had just informed him, for the third time, that the wedding was legally binding and spiritually sanctioned by a sacred willow tree.

"You don’t understand," Lin Fan hissed. "This wasn’t just a marriage. This was a direct spiritual crit to my fragile hopes."

"You have to move on."

"Or... hear me out... I can build a Divorce Beam using techniques banned by three sects and the Demon Council."

Prince Wuheng blinked slowly. "...Do you even know what a Divorce Beam does?"

"Not even a little."

"You’re going to die."

"Or worse... be remembered."

Back in the Lab

Lin Fan dropped a cursed hair strand into the mix. The whole lab shook.

A wall peeled open, revealing an ancient spirit.

"This is your seventh attempt at world-shattering love alchemy, Lin Fan," it growled. "STOP SUMMONING ME."

"Not until I can shoot a laser that forcibly nullifies all romantic feelings."

"...Why are you like this?"

"Heartbreak."

"Get therapy."

"I am therapy!"

BOOM.

The cauldron exploded. Out floated a greasy scroll labeled:DIVORCE BEAM V.0.6 – PROTOTYPE (unstable, screams a little)

Lin Fan wiped ash off his face, grinning like a lunatic.

"Time to crash their honeymoon."

Meanwhile, in the Spirit Realm...

Hei Long sneezed mid-sip of tea. "Someone’s cursing us."

Lan Yinyin arched an eyebrow. "Want me to kill them?"

"Eventually."

"Should I be flattered?"

"Deeply."

Back in Ocean City

Prince Wuheng stared in horror as Lin Fan wheeled out a massive, rune-covered cannon powered by sadness and jellyfish souls.

"Lin Fan, what are you doing?"

"I’m saving love... by destroying it."

He pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

Then a tiny puff of glitter farted out of the barrel and turned the front gate of Ocean City into a cake.

"..."

"Okay," Lin Fan muttered, "Version 0.7 needs less frosting."

. . . .

Spirit Realm Honeymoon Pagoda, Somewhere Between Heaven and "Please Stop, Lin Fan"

The air was peaceful.

Cherry blossoms fell like soft pink snow.

A lazy breeze floated through the enchanted valley as Hei Long lounged in a silken robe, sipping celestial peach wine while Lan Yinyin lay beside him, reading an old cultivation text... upside down.

They were, for once, relaxed.

Until—

BANG!

A scroll slammed into the ground outside the pagoda door in a puff of glitter and smoke. It screeched as it landed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—"

Hei Long blinked. "Did that scroll just scream?"

Lan Yinyin narrowed her eyes. "...That aura reeks of desperation and poorly masked insecurity."

Hei Long sighed. "So... Lin Fan."

He stood, walked over, and picked up the scroll. In bright red crayon, it read:

🖍️ CEASE AND DIVORCE 🖍️(Official, Spiritual, Irrefutable)FROM: Lin Fan, Defender of True Love™TO: Hei Long, Stealer of Waifus&Lan Yinyin, Tragic Brainwashed Beauty

You are hereby ordered to:

CEASE all romantic actions, including but not limited to:

Holding hands

Cuddling

Shared glances

Breathing in tandem

DIVORCE immediately and return to a healthy single state of being.

CONSIDER Lin Fan as a suitable romantic alternative.

FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN...(scribbled out)...ME BEING REALLY MAD AND BUILDING AN EVEN STRONGER DIVORCE BEAM™.

Hei Long stared at it in silence. "He actually drew a frowning stick figure of me stealing a bride."

Lan Yinyin took the scroll, read it carefully, then paused. "Is this... mustard?"

Hei Long sniffed the corner. "...Yep. Definitely mustard."

She crumpled it and tossed it into a spirit-flame. "How does this man breathe without help?"

"With confusion and audacity," Hei Long replied.

Meanwhile, at a Nearby Spirit Cliff

Lin Fan peeked from behind a rock, wearing full camouflage made from banana leaves and a half-torn "Spy Cultivator Monthly" hoodie.

"Any second now, she’ll come running out... in tears..."

Silence.

"...Or he’ll burst into flames. Or— Wait, what if they’re cuddling RIGHT NOW?!"

He bit down on his sleeve to muffle a scream.

Back in the Pagoda

Lan Yinyin gently rested her head on Hei Long’s shoulder, eyes gleaming with amusement.

"You know... it’s kind of sweet. In a pathetic, embarrassing way."

Hei Long chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist. "If this keeps up, I might have to send him a wedding invitation just to watch him faint."

The sacred lake sparkled under spirit moonlight. Hei Long was reclining on a smooth jade bench, lazily tossing pebbles that skipped in mid-air before vanishing into the void. Lan Yinyin was brushing her hair, glowing slightly from the realm’s aura, looking every bit the ethereal bride-to-be.

It was peaceful.

Too peaceful.

BOOM!A spatial rift cracked open above them like a badly stitched seam. Out tumbled Lin Fan, upside-down, in a cloud of talisman smoke and panic.

"SPECIAL DELIVERY!"

He landed face-first in the spirit grass, groaning, his spiritual chicken landing beside him—completely unharmed and immediately pecking at the divine moss.

Lan Yinyin’s eye twitched. Hei Long didn’t even look up.

"You again?" Hei Long said flatly. "I was hoping you’d been eaten by a sentient root."

"I survived," Lin Fan wheezed, dramatically pulling out a scroll from his sleeve. "And I bring legal authority—again!"

He threw it at them.

It drifted sideways and smacked his chicken.

Lan Yinyin stood, her bridal veil trailing like a blade behind her.

"Lin. Fan."

"I have rights!" Lin Fan shouted. "I studied half a book on sect marriage laws! And a Reddit thread on emotional damage!"

"You broke into the Spirit Realm."

"I ascended emotionally!"

Hei Long finally rose, brushing invisible dust from his sleeves.

"This your second notice?"

Lin Fan nodded, proudly. "Stamped it with two potatoes this time. That’s binding."

Lan Yinyin opened the scroll. This time it read:

DIVORCE NOTICE: 2nd STRIKE!

You are still in violation of:

Article 1: I’m Clearly the Better Choice

Article 2: Look at My Chicken (It Glows Now?)

Article 3: You Guys Are Too Perfect, It’s Annoying

Article 4: I Had a Dream Where She Picked Me, and Dreams Matter

Article 5: This is Spiritual Bullying

Signed,Lin Fan, Future Winner of Lan Yinyin’s Heart™(P.S. If you hurt me, that counts as abuse and I’ll cry.)

A pause.

Then Hei Long said calmly:

"I’ll give you a ten-second head start."

Lin Fan blinked. "W-Wait. Is that a legal term or—"

BOOM!Hei Long moved. Like thunder dipped in rage.

Lin Fan screamed, tripped over his own chicken, and activated Plan F—Flailing wildly and running into the trees.

"YOU CAN’T DIVORCE WHAT WAS NEVER MARRIED!!"

Behind him, Lan Yinyin picked up a fiery lotus petal. "Do we vaporize him this time?"

Hei Long shrugged. "Let’s give him hope. He fights better when miserable."

Meanwhile...

Prince Wuheng’s War Tent

"Sir! Lin Fan attempted hand-delivery of the second notice!"

The prince groaned. "Did he... survive?"

"Barely."

"Good. Ready Phase Three: Operation Overwhelming Public Embarrassment."