Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)
1001. What Is Frost?

“Wipe the scowl.” Alisa commanded Lammy. “If one failed harvest spelt the end, then the plan was flawed from the beginning. We would not have lost. Keep a tighter leash on your Atoners. They have found a well of light to flock to. Insects.”

“… Yes.” Lammy reluctantly obeyed. “This is not the end! Enjoy that fledgling Fragment! It only means that you have one more vulnerability!”

Then, she turned to the Eye of Elysia and dragged a claw down her cheek.

“You and your savior fetish… Corrupting people for the sake of salvation, when they can instead paint the world in their own colors. Your Will is limiting. Ours will elevate. May we meet again…!”

She turned to Frost.

“And may Sinder judge you for what you’ve become!”

She hastily disappeared through the portal, her voice echoing as Alisa’s eyes swept across them. It was as though a thousand more eyes were prickling them.

Her presence was ineffably god-like, and she bared the closest resemblance to the Elysia Frost had seen in her vision of the past.

Frost wasn’t certain of their chances of victory if she attacked now. She simulated tens of fights, and each of them resulted in the deaths of all besides herself and a select few.

Thus, Frost kept her lips sealed. She did not choose to antagonize this one like with Lammy.

Furthermore, her Precognition abilities did not seem to work Alisa.

The Aberration raised a hand, and Frost was left wondering why she was unable to predict such a simple movement.

Aberrations of dark claws slashed at the group. Frost erected a powerful barrier of light alongside Dark Memoria. It barely held on, and Icara was unfortunately cleaved in half.

Frost could not believe how powerful Alisa was. Nor could she even analyze this skill. It came from nowhere. But it wasn’t intended to kill them, merely to remind them of their place.

It was as though she was content with the results here.

“At another place, another time, and another set of circumstances, will we take what is owed. Dark Memoria. You are only alive because a replacement has yet to hatch.”

Her eyes never fell onto Jury, now that Frost noticed. It couldn’t have been out of fear. Perhaps to her, Jury was so inconsequential miniscule that she was not worth the energy to acknowledge.

But then, for the faintest of moments, she gazed upon Jury’s left hand and then sharpened her oversized claws in response.

“Kratt cracked the Site Core. The fledgling Rhyme captured a small resonance of the Genesis Stone. The Witch whose name I fail to recall perished. The Nexus stands united as ever. But it saddens me that they rely so heavily on you.”

Alisa wore a sinister smile as her eyes fell solely onto Frost.

She continued:

“Amalgam. Captured Star. Sinder. Her. Or ‘Frost’ as you call yourself. Hm. No, that won’t do. There is another name you possess, isn’t there?”

“… Another name…?” Frost slowly spoke.

Finally, Alisa uttered a name that caused her body to go rigid. The world turned dark. Everything seemed to freeze in place. Only Jury and Dark Memoria were able to move in this dark, foggy world.

A voice then whispered in her ear.

“Adam. The First Apostle.”

“… Adam…? What?”

“The Good Doctor gave his life to the Captured Star. Were you under the impression that your previous life spent in the world called ‘Earth’ was under a separate identity?”

A spectral figure danced around her. It was a shade of Alisa, and she dragged a finger along the jawlines of her friends.

“Dead men tell no tales, less it comes from reading their Nex. But you would have read into the tales of the Corrupted of Wrath. Where Sinder looks into the mirror, he does not see himself, but rather, the face of the Good Doctor. In order to understand the world outside, his memories were imparted onto the Captured Star, and Sinder was born. That leads me to ask you one question.”

She clasped onto Frost’s cheek with a pair of cold hands.

Her lips were brought dangerously close to her eyes. Her mouth was a bottomless abyss. No amount of light could ever dream of illuminating such darkness. Yet, it was the same kind of maw Frost had.

“What are you?”

What am I? I came from Earth. I still… believe I did. Tch…

< Frost? >

A myriad of thought assailed her mind. Emotions stung her heart. She had always believed she had nothing to do with any of this as an inhabitant of Earth. That she perhaps had a family back there, a life that she could never life, and was – at her core – detached from this world.

But she could not have been more central to it.

She didn’t how much truth there was to this claim. Adam, the First Apostle and the Good Doctor? Who also supposedly gave up their memories and life to the Captured Star? To create Sinder?

… It wasn’t farfetched.

Frost looked like another person found in G-Z7.

The only difference was that her eyes were not brown. Frost remembered her eyes from Earth. They were brown. Pair this with G-Z7 being the manifestation of the Old World facility, and she finally understood that the First Apostle and the Good Doctor were one in the same.

It scared her knowing that she may not have come from Earth at all.

That deep down, the memories she carried did not even belong to her in the first place.

However, despite this, Frost clasped the hands of the shade and crushed them at the wrists.

“I am Frost. I’ve already come to terms with myself being who I am right now. Elysia is my home! Whether I come from Earth or not won’t change what I am!”

Indeed.

Her heart did not budge.

While it rattled, it remained ironclad, and her eyes burned with the emotional weight of the Fifth State. She should have lost her mind.

With how much Alisa knew, it was possible that she had aimed to destabilize Frost’s mind using this knowledge.

But instead, it only served to fuel her resolve and unbreaking belief that she was ‘Frost’.

Alisa slipped away from Frost. She had neither a smile nor a frown. Only a look of interest filled her gaze. Her feathers rustled. The sound it made reminded Frost of a chime, only that she could feel them calling to her.

“’Frost’. What that name entails, and what you believe you are – may it all come to light one day. The curse of Light means that it must cast an equal shadow. You are only Frost by name, as I am Alisa.”

A solemn expression befell Frost.

“It changes nothing.”

“Not yet. Identity is a core aspect of Amalgamation. The fact that you originate from many but lack your own is utterly exquisite. You were not born. You merely manifested. No different from a Corrupted born from Nex. How many came before you? You are only different because you are still alive.”

Though Frost’s heart was steady, she could not help but to think back to her origin.

If she truly did not come from Earth, and was the reborn Captured Star, then what really was she? Her memories of Earth did not ultimately matter. That her knowledge and experience as a nurse…

No.

She was never a nurse.

Frost was a doctor.

“… Tch…”

She glared at Alisa, but when she tried to move, an invisible force caused a burning, stabbing pain to lock her in place.

Nav…? I can’t move!

The sensation grew by tenfold as the shadows engulfed her.

Nav was unable to respond. It was suffocating, and Frost could feel her darkest urges claw their way up from the recesses of her mind. Suddenly, she was almost overwhelmed with an insatiable hunger.

Fuck… I won’t… I don’t want it… Ghhhhk. Nav… NAV!

Alisa’s shade gradually disappeared.

But… That taste… This hunger… Why is it coming back to me all of a sudden!? I… don’t fucking want it!

Her eyes glimmered, having confirmed something unbeknownst to Frost.

Frost’s hand, which still clasped onto the tiny hand of the Fragment, slowly brought it up to her mouth.

Instinct took over.

… But… If it’s just once… Maybe… No… I can’t. I’m not a monster. I’m… I’m…!

Strands of golden hair were overtaken by her original black hair.

“We have only seen the personas that you wear. I can put a name on an apple and call it ‘Frost’. But that does not change it from being an apple. What lengths must an apple go to detach itself from the ‘apple’. What lengths do we must go to free ourselves from what we are? You are many things. I almost pity you–!”

But the hand never reached Frost’s mouth.

“Frost is Frost no matter what!”

A claw tore through the shadows. A pair of golden eyes drilled into hers as warmth engulfed her.

It was Jury.

She had managed to cut through the clouds of darkness and reached Frost. Her knight in shining armor had arrived, and she held onto Frost like she was her world.

“Frost will never stop being Frost because she’s mine! Frost, snap out of it! She’s trying to Corrupt you!”

Alisa was perplexed.

Of everything that had happened, Jury’s ability to reach Frost caused her to finally acknowledge her.

“The same tenacity of the Original. But to be able to cut through… I see. The Heart of Time’s concept is not solely for the sake of turning back the clock. It is closer to Elysia’s original intent.”

She turned to the Eye of Elysia once more.

It seemed to stare in eternal malice.

“… It was flawed from the beginning. Whoever sent you there, into the Black Forest… They must have known. Containment would not have worked…”

Something had gone terribly wrong on their side.

Frost could only speculate what it was. But for now, she basked in Jury’s warmth and allowed her to surrender to her lover’s embrace.

She needed it now more than ever.

“My regards Amalgam. Do not forget that the brighter you shine, the harsher the shadow becomes. People tend to become truest to themselves when they have exhausted all options and are left with the last thing they can afford to part with.”

The portal swallowed Alisa.

It collapsed into itself, dragging nearby wreckage before imploding.

Then, the world fell eerily silent.

The murmurs of the collapsing Site Core reminded them that they could not stay here for long.

“Does it hurt anywhere?” Jury whispered to Frost.

“No… I’m… Shit. Jury… I need a moment.”

“We don’t have much time for a ‘moment’ Frost.” Cer called out. “Doesn’t look like we got much time. Should start warning any Moons that came to retrieve the Corrupted to start leaving.”

Cer was right. As much as Frost wanted to stay like this, they needed to leave before the Site disappeared.

But there was still more than enough to gather their thoughts, and deal with the aftermath.

Frost had a lot to say.

For starters, she wanted to thank the White Horseman and most of all–

–Elysia.