Naruto: Uchiha's Unserious Saga
Chapter 371: Hokage on the Run

Chapter 371: Chapter 371: Hokage on the Run

Funan gave Kaguya a meaningful look.

"Why are you looking at me?" Kaguya’s voice was icy. "I didn’t do anything."

"I know you didn’t," Funan chuckled. "But it might be your son who did."

"And what would he gain from that?" Kaguya frowned slightly, her delicate brows furrowing.

"Probably trying to stir up trouble between you and me," Funan said, grinning.

Kaguya sneered and said, "You think something like that would make me fight you? Those people—and the entire shinobi world—have nothing to do with me. As long as you provide me with enough White Zetsu soldiers and strength, I couldn’t care less about the rest."

"Even if they all die, I won’t lift a finger."

Was Kaguya willing to coexist peacefully with Funan?

Of course not.

She simply couldn’t see through Funan’s true strength, so she chose to avoid direct confrontation—for now.

Beyond that, she truly didn’t care.

"Since they’ve made a move, there’s bound to be a follow-up," Funan said, taking the matter seriously. He immediately turned to Yako and ordered, "Mobilize all our forces. Eliminate all unstable elements—completely."

"All... all our forces?"

Yako was stunned.

You know how wild your subordinates are, right?

If that happened, the entire shinobi world would tremble.

Countless people would be crushed beneath their march.

"Yes. All forces!" Funan confirmed firmly. "Inform Gaara and Mei too—have them assist. Whether they’re remnants or traitors, find them immediately! Send the Nara Clan to investigate the cause. Spare no cost, no matter what!"

"There must be no delay whatsoever."

"Understood!"

Seeing Funan’s unwavering determination, Yako immediately dropped all her current work to handle the matter personally. Even if heavy losses were inevitable, she would not hesitate.

Immediately—

This massive mobilization drew strange looks from many quarters.

"What’s with all this fuss?"

"Isn’t this a bit exaggerated?"

"Just some leftover remnants—is all this really necessary?"

Some couldn’t understand it.

But when it came to Funan’s orders, there was no hesitation in execution.

As a result, the problems that had just surfaced were dealt with within only three days.

The remnants from Iwagakure and Kumogakure were struck down hard.

The internal issues were also purged.

Even the few that remained hidden were now trembling in fear.

Fortunately—

These operatives had been created through special methods by the Sage of Six Paths. They didn’t know much about each other, so every loss they suffered was a permanent one.

The survivors had no courage left to cause further trouble.

This outcome left a certain figure in the Pure Land wide-eyed with shock.

After the unification of the shinobi world, can they still unleash this kind of power?

In his own era, such a thing would have been impossible.

Was it the development of the shinobi themselves?

Or was it Uchiha Funan?

He didn’t know.

But...

"Mother could create Black Zetsu... so can I."

"Mother’s Black Zetsu was able to bring her back to life—what about mine?"

The Sage of Six Paths stared coldly at the shinobi world, a chilling smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

As for the soldiers that had been wiped out—

He felt no sorrow at all.

If they’re gone, they’re gone.

It doesn’t matter.

After all, my goal has been achieved.

...

Meanwhile, within the shinobi world.

Funan reviewed the final reports again and again, his expression growing colder with each pass, before tossing the papers onto the table.

"Three days. I gave you three days—and this is what you show me?"

Funan cast a sharp glare at Naoto.

"Has the Nara Clan really fallen to this level without Shikaku?"

"Forgive us, Hokage-sama!"

Sweat beaded on Naoto’s forehead as he hurried to explain, "The new generation of the Nara Clan is absolutely no weaker than it was under Shikaku’s leadership. However..."

"Hmph."

Funan let out a cold snort and turned his gaze aside.

"Ibiki. Your results were also disappointing. Is this the best the Konoha Interrogation Corps can do?"

Ibiki kept his head lowered, too ashamed to speak.

It was his first time attending such a meeting—and he hadn’t expected it would turn into a scolding session.

"Hokage-sama," Yako said in a low voice, "if it really is that person behind all this, then with their level, it’s no surprise our teams couldn’t uncover anything. In fact, this outcome would be expected."

Her words immediately drew grateful looks from a few others in the room.

Funan tapped his finger lightly against the table, his voice calm and even.

"Even though there isn’t much information left in these ninjas’ minds, we can still draw several conclusions."

"Exactly," Naoto immediately responded. "Even though their minds hold little actual information, the objectives of their missions were extremely clear—chaos. They want to throw Konohagakure into disorder."

Funan asked, "And why do they want chaos?"

"Or rather," he continued, "what is it they need this chaos to cover up?"

Yako added, "After these people were captured, the shinobi world returned to its previous state without any noticeable changes."

Funan cast a cold glance at Yako and said harshly, "If it were that easy to spot, then he’d be an idiot. Yako, I can’t believe you would say something so naive."

"Cough, cough!" Yako gave an awkward cough and said sheepishly, "Then what should we do now?"

"You all should continue doing what you’re supposed to be doing," Funan quickly decided. Fixing his gaze on Fugaku and Shisui, he ordered, "Strengthen patrols. Don’t overlook even the smallest clues. As for the Anbu—"

"Here!"

Itachi stepped forward.

"Continue hunting down these remnants," Funan said impatiently. "Root them all out. I don’t have time to play games with them."

"Understood!"

Sensing Funan’s growing impatience, everyone responded in unison and quickly took their leave.

None of them wanted to be the next target of his temper.

At that moment, a pair of soft hands began massaging Funan’s shoulders.

"Someone’s in a bad mood," a sultry female voice teased. "I thought Yugao was with you last night. What happened? Did that little girl’s skills get worse?"

"Hmph!" Funan snorted lightly, casting a sidelong glance at the woman. "Guren, it’s your changes that are so drastic I almost didn’t recognize you."

"Hehe!"

Guren giggled and asked, "So, do you prefer the current me, or the old me?"

"Neither."

"Hmph! You’re so mean!"

Pouting in dissatisfaction, Guren nevertheless didn’t leave. Instead, she plopped herself down onto Funan’s lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I’m mad. Come on, coax me—hurry."

Funan smiled faintly, wrapped his arm around Guren’s slender waist, and asked, "Has Orochimaru contacted you recently?"

"Orochimaru?"

Guren looked surprised. "He’s not dead?"

That in itself was an answer to Funan’s question.

"No," Funan said with certainty. "That snake has incredible survivability. Even if the entire ninja world were wiped out, I suspect he’d still be slithering around somewhere."

After all, he was a man who could be resurrected with just a single mark.

And who knew how many people across the entire ninja world carried Orochimaru’s cursed seals?

Besides, Funan was sure Orochimaru had prepared several backup bodies for himself.

While lost in thought, Funan suddenly grunted in pain.

He shot a sideways glance at Guren, who was grinning mischievously.

"You’re getting bolder and bolder. This is the office, you know. Do you realize how many people these days just barge in without even knocking?"

"Hehe!" Guren said nonchalantly, "It’s not like you would be the one at a disadvantage."

"Bullshit."

With a cold snort, Funan hugged Guren tightly, activated his Body Flicker Technique, and the two of them vanished from the office.

Moments after they disappeared, an Anbu member pushed open the door and walked in.

"Huh? Where did they go?"

"Someone, report this—Hokage-sama has escaped again!"

...

After that brief eruption, the Six Paths fell silent once more.

This had sharpened Funan’s vigilance to the utmost limit.

He truly was unfamiliar with the Six Paths’ power.

Just what had that old bastard been doing for so long in the Pure Land?

How many more tricks did he still have up his sleeve?

With these lingering doubts, Funan completely shifted his focus toward relinquishing authority and concentrating solely on strengthening his own power.

As long as he retained strength, any problem could be solved.

The corpses from the Fourth Great Ninja War were all sealed away, minimizing the loss of vital energy.

Every so often, Funan would open one of the scrolls and absorb the preserved bodies stored inside.

The intervals between absorptions were mainly to allow his body time to adjust.

The fruits of this process were divided between him and Kaguya in a 70-30 split.

Seventy percent for him!

Thirty percent for Kaguya!

In Funan’s opinion, he was already being incredibly generous—

At least he hadn’t sealed Kaguya away again.

Besides—

Even with only thirty percent of the harvested power, Kaguya-hime seemed thoroughly satisfied.

The way she looked at Funan had even grown noticeably gentler.

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I will post some extra Chapters in Patreon, you can check it out. >> /TitoVillar

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