My Disfigured Duke Husband Helps Me Plot My Revenge
Chapter 281: We Can Only Keep Going

Chapter 281: We Can Only Keep Going

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

It felt like all Leonor had been doing was trying to occupy each moment enough that worry for Desmond didn’t consume her. She thought she had lost this part of herself before, that their time together would strengthen their foundation. They would always come back together. She was his and he was hers.

However, the thought of having to go to Burien and be in the very place where she had been hurt so badly made her want to cling to her husband. It would be so much easier to be objective if he was by her side.

Stephano was doing what he could to stop her from leaving, but she knew she had to go. She knew that it was her duty as a daughter to return when her father was bedridden. He was the one who brought her into this world with her mother.

The King had promised Desmond to protect the duchess as if she were the Queen before he left for Eirenguard. However, Leonor had to make it difficult by rejecting any offers of guards or any sort of entourage as she went to Burien.

Not only was she the strongest person in her family and most apt at protecting herself, she felt it would be too obvious that she was moving around without Desmond. She wanted to go as subtly as possible and not draw attention.

It would be best if people think that her father isn’t incapacitated as well. Considering his lack of announcement about his heir, some could see his title at risk.

The King relented when she was in Burien, but he wouldn’t allow her to travel completely bare as if she were indestructible. The unpredictability of life was often the most damning and he would not be the one to lose Duchess de Montclair when her protective husband would certainly be back soon.

Duty aside, Stephano simply cared enough for Leonor as a friend, and he wanted to ensure her safety. She had already been through enough hardship in her life.

With the carriage unmarked by the Royal Family crest and guards almost ready to go, Leonor was walking through the main palace to say goodbye to Stephano. She wanted him to stay in the palace for the same reason they couldn’t see Desmond when he left with the small traveling party: inconspicuousness was vital in throwing people off of their tails.

There were officers from further reaches of the kingdom coming to Coeurvalle for a further update on the conflict between Castille and Eirenguard. It was expected that there would be people coming and going.

However, as Leonor was passing through the main hall of the palace, intending to visit Stephano in his study, she heard a voice she had no recollection of speaking a name she was very much familiar with.

"Jara?" a man asked.

Leonor turned to the man, unable to respond for a few moments. Hearing her mother’s name from a stranger’s mouth gave her goosebumps. At times it was hard to forget that her mother had an entire life outside of her. She lived for over twenty years before Leonor was even born, after all.

"Pardon me?" Leonor choked out.

She could feel herself trembling.

"Oh, you have blue eyes," the man said, almost disappointed that it wasn’t who he thought, but he seemed strangely relieved as well. "Please forgive me. You look just like Jara Livareth but she would have been nearly my age and not such a young woman."

As Leonor looked into his eyes, she saw a man with striking black hair, pale skin, and bright, sapphire blue eyes. She wanted to know so much more but she didn’t have the time. It felt like her feet were stuck in mud and she couldn’t brush him off after he said her mother’s name.

"Jara is my mother’s name," Leonor uttered. "Livareth was her maiden name..."

She wanted to add ’before she married my father’ but it felt almost cruel. All her senses felt like they were firing off and she was incredibly on edge.

However, a guard was walking down the hallway and he approached the duchess with a bow.

"Your grace, the carriage is ready. Whenever you would like to go."

"Thank you," Leonor said to the man.

The man Leonor had been talking to was immediately rigid, although he didn’t seem upset. He was simply thrown off at talking to such an esteemed person without knowing.

"Forgive me," the man said. "I had no idea I was talking to a duchess. I am Count Braulio de Marro from the northern county. I have many things to apologize for but it seems that you have somewhere else you need to go. Thank you for not thinking my comment was strange. I was simply taken aback. You look so much like her."

Leonor smiled warmly even though her eyes held sadness.

"It’s a pleasure to meet you, my lord," Leonor said. "I will take it as a compliment. If she can live on through me, I am grateful. Please, take care."

She began to pull herself together even if she was forcing herself. It was necessary to keep walking forward and do her duties as a daughter.

As planned, she said her goodbyes to Stephano and thanked him for all he had provided so far, joking that it felt like she was married to him.

It was time for the duchess to set off.

However, with a lack of company and only a coachman driving the carriage, the one-day trip seemed to drag on forever. It was lucky that Burien County was nowhere near as expansive as the duchy she and Desmond presided over, but the quiet was eating her alive.

Occasionally she clutched the necklace she wore that Desmond’s wedding ring was hidden amongst other adornments so it wouldn’t be so obvious if anyone took a closer look. He was all her heart and mind was filled with from the day he left. She couldn’t be left alone or not doing something that occupied herself physically or mentally because then she would fall into despair.

Her mind would rush wondering what he was doing or how he was. He gave her a small letter when they crossed the border to Eirenguard.

While she didn’t want to send Eve to bother him all the time, she also wanted him to know that he was occupying her every moment. Each breath felt like it was only so she could see him again soon.

Feelings she thought she had left behind before they reunited were so much closer than she realized.

Since the weather was cold, the windows had been sealed tightly closed, but she moved a curtain and slid the window open a crack.

"Please, stop the carriage!" she cried to one of the unmarked guards.

He spurred his horse to move faster and get the coachmen’s attention. Soon they were at a standstill off the side of the well-ridden path and one of the guards went to check on her.

"I’m alright," she assured him. "I saw an inn and I need to pen a quick letter. It’s of the utmost importance."

"Yes, your grace," the guard said, helping her from the carriage.

Before she made it out, she covered her head with a cloak and hid any sign that she was of any importance. It wouldn’t be the best place to call attention to herself.

Inns were common places for people to write letters. There were always desks, ink, and papers available. Oftentimes messengers or people looking for odd jobs would spend time in those places looking for work.

However, she had lied just a bit. The letter was already written. It was just that she hadn’t figured out how to close it. Never before had she sent a love letter and it filled her with anxiety. What was she allowed to say? How honest could she be if someone somehow intercepted it?

Eventually deciding to lay it all out, she signed the letter ’My heart beats only for you. I’ll see you soon. Your love, Leonor’

She exited the inn and the guard was patiently waiting for her outside of the door.

"Your grace, do we need to search for a messenger?" he asked.

Leonor smiled faintly and she held up the folded letter in her hand.

Eve appeared as a large black hawk and swooped in to grab the paper. Without a look back, she was off and headed south.

"I forget you’re a mage, your grace," the guard muttered, seeming thrown off. "I only see Quinn do that sort of thing."

"I would like to better establish myself as a proper mage. I feel I’ve been neglecting it for quite some time," she admitted with a smile.

With that, they were off yet again and she felt a bit lighter, knowing that her letter was on its way to the recipient. She ordered Eve to be safe and discreet so that the men wouldn’t be compromised and no one would be alerted of their movement.

She slid her finger into Desmond’s ring, wishing it was his hand she was holding.

When her family gave him that ring, it felt like a curse that she would never be able to escape.

However, it changed fiercely and it was her lifeline to him; his promise to return and her strength to go forward.

They arrived at Burien Manor after the sun had set and the ominous nature of the building struck Leonor.