My Disfigured Duke Husband Helps Me Plot My Revenge
Chapter 164: Burdened

Chapter 164: Burdened

A new burden on Leonor’s shoulders as she went through each day made it hard to get close to the duke at night.

While she didn’t doubt his decisions or character, it was eating away at her consciousness that he had an heir in the very orphanage she visited when exploring Piedmont for the first time.

He clearly paid special attention to and funded the orphanage so it would be a good place for displaced children to live, but it begged the question of why he would want to keep the child away.

Even at such a young age, forming a bond would be good for them. How would the child ever willingly take over the dukedom if there wasn’t a trusting and respectful relationship between them?

Leo would likely know that he wasn’t Desmond’s son. There would have to be more benefit than the riches that came with such a lofty title. The work wasn’t easy and the rules were strict. Would he feel resentful if forced to stay in an orphanage as a child?

Even if she didn’t know the child, she didn’t want him to feel burdened by something he didn’t choose. He was more than a tool.

All thoughts lead her to the same destination and she concluded that she might have been the obstacle keeping Leo from living with Desmond.

Before they found their way back to one another as lovers rather than the arranged husband and wife they were before, having Leo would have been a lifesaver for her. He ensured that she would never have to touch the duke who deemed himself disgusting and unworthy of her love.

Desmond likely set those plans into motion at a time when he was insistent that he would never lay a hand on his wife. As sad as it was, she understood his sentiment.

They could one day introduce an heir and she wouldn’t have to sacrifice herself or her comfort to get to that point. They would have fulfilled their duties. At the end of the day, that’s all the kingdom needed them to do and they could live however they wanted behind closed doors.

She was glad they didn’t choose that path.

Yet their love complicated those perfect plans. She got close to him and the desire to give him the family he dreamed of crashed through her heart. It was hard to let go when she had daydreamed about what a child with their traits would look like.

Would her dominant tan skin overshadow his fair traits? Perhaps they would have a unique child with pale skin and dark hair. The possibilities were endless until she found out that wasn’t what Desmond had planned for her.

She should be grateful that her safety was at the forefront of this plan set in stone. It was harsh wanting to take a risk for someone and having them deny you that choice altogether.

There was a distance between them that didn’t go unnoticed by Desmond who tried to remain attentive.

He knew they wouldn’t dive straight into intimacy the way his body would have liked them to but for days after Quinn left, Leonor never asked for more each time they lay in bed with one another. Even if their kisses lingered, she seemed to control herself enough to pull away each night.

She would bid him goodnight and roll over.

Despite them cuddling through the night, the distance growing felt expansive. He was on the verge of asking about it until one evening Leonor lay in bed, having no desire to do anything but kiss him once before she lay down on her stomach and closed her eyes. She was facing Desmond but wouldn’t look at him.

The duke lay on his side and his unscarred left hand moved over Leonor’s soft body from her neck to her lower back. He considered going further but saw the frown on her face and decided not to test his forwardness. It was clear when she desired him and when she didn’t.

His eye remained on her but it was clear she wasn’t sleeping.

"Can I ask you something?" she finally spoke.

"As always, anything," he reminded her that she didn’t have to say that each time she wanted to know something.

Leonor opened her eyes. Even though she had loved each moment of his hand stroking her back, she sat up to her side and faced him.

Even through the distance, she still wanted to touch him.

She reached towards his nightshirt and gently flattened the material against his chest as if trying to unwrinkle it— as if it mattered late in the night when no one else could see them.

"Does Leo not live here because of me?" she asked. When the first question was asked, she couldn’t bring herself to stop all the paranoias within her regarding the topic. "Does he have to stay in the orphanage because the situation was strange and hard to explain to me and I didn’t know your secret? Are you worried about what I said about it stinging that I won’t be the one to provide you with an heir?"

Her head fell forward and met the hand that was already against his chest.

"I accept the situation," she uttered into the soft material of the shirt. "It feels wrong that he’s in an orphanage while I receive all the benefits of living under your roof. I wouldn’t mistreat him even if he isn’t mine."

Desmond closed the space between them by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her flush against him. One of his hands was on the back of her head and the other snugly around her waist.

While there was some truth to the fact that he needed to introduce Leo to her slowly so it wouldn’t create an uncomfortable environment—something he wouldn’t blame her for considering how untraditional it was—there was far more to the equation than feelings.

"I know you would never mistreat him," Desmond said. "But there is far more to it than feelings. Until his age is indistinguishable, we can’t claim him as ours considering how recently we were married. There’s also..." He trailed off, stopping himself and causing Leonor to lift her head. "I feel you ought to meet him. If you see how he lives now, you will understand why I don’t want to separate him from the family he has in the orphanage."

Desmond once had the same sentiments. The orphanage children and headmaster were his family.

"Before winter," Leonor said. "I want to meet him before winter."

Considering they would begin the journey around the duchy to ensure proper winterization in a couple of weeks, Desmond felt pressure. He knew he deserved every bit of it.

"I’ll arrange for it to happen in the next few days," he promised.

Leonor wrapped her arms around Desmond’s neck, silently holding him to that promise. It felt a little bit better between them. She would have to see how it panned out beyond that in the future.