My Disfigured Duke Husband Helps Me Plot My Revenge
Chapter 140: Searching for Answers

Chapter 140: Searching for Answers

Leonor’s hands were folded neatly in her lap as she tried to contain her emotions.

With only a few words, he had a talent of pulling her in all sorts of directions. It had been that way since she grew fond of him despite all the walls he built around himself.

Even though she knew his secret, there was still so much more to figure out.

"I don’t particularly have a list of questions, only curiosities as they appear," she admitted. "I simply want you to tell me what I don’t know because I thought we had that sort of relationship before we were separated from one another." She let out a light sigh. "If we weren’t separated I often wonder which step we would be on by now. Perhaps married? Would I have given you the family you dreamed of? Would we have run away together?"

Her voice was soft and emotional. She was truly bearing her heart in a way that pointed to the familiarity they once had. It was clear she longed for closeness.

"We are married," he argued.

"Unlike my mother, I always pictured a marriage where I would share a room with my husband," she explained in a far off voice as she looked around the garden, trying to sort out her thoughts. "A marriage of affection and love. Although I know now that I’m older it’s not realistic for nobles. Running away successfully would be difficult with the father I have and now husband."

Desmond’s already straight posture became straighter.

"Running away?" he echoed.

Leonor bit the inside of her lip as she decided how she wanted to proceed. No matter what she did, the duke always seemed unconvinced by her efforts to reassure him.

While a big part of her wanted to remain closed-off and guarded, she thought that might not be the right decision. Would bearing her heart from that point forward be the best course of action? Would he believe her honesty?

Since she was baring her heart, she couldn’t look directly at the duke whose green eye was shining as it reflected the fire – another question amongst the many she had for him.

Leonor sighed.

"When I was first in Montclair, I felt guilty at how comfortable my life was while Valerio was possibly out there suffering," she finally answered. "I considered many times what I would do if Valerio showed up to take me away. Since I was married to a man who didn’t love me, I mused with the thought of leaving. I had one foot out the door until I started growing fond of the duke."

Desmond witnessed her become more dejected the more she spoke.He was finally able to see the guilt Stephano spoke about and his guilt only became worse. It was his turn to shoulder more burden.

Before he could proceed, he noticed something that bothered him.

"Didn’t love you?" he asked quietly. "I loved you from the moment I remembered who I was."

Leonor’s eyes sprang with tears and he finally held her gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. Her heart felt raw.

"When I woke up a couple of weeks after defeating the dragon, Stephano was at my side helping the healers manage my pain," he explained, projecting just enough to speak but not strain his throat too much. Luckily it was a quiet evening.. "However, they couldn’t understand my pain until I was conscious. When they finally calmed me down enough to speak, I told Stephano my name is Desmond Carthach because that’s what it was when I was growing up in Eirenguard. But do you know what happened when I was in the palace and finally remembered who I really was?"

Leonor’s eyes were still filled with sadness, but his question gave her a small amount of hope. If he cherished her the way she cherished him at least a little bit, perhaps she could accept the direction their lives had taken.

All she wanted was his heart the same way he had hers for the last of her teenage years into her early twenties.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"You were my very first thought," he explained. "I said I had to get you out of Burien. Even if I didn’t want you to see me, I could finally give you a life you deserve and safety you deserve. You’re the most important person in my life, Leonor."

His voice became quiet as the words he said came closer to his heart.

"I wish I could present myself to you in a more favorable way," he admitted. "You deserved me at my best."

Leonor seemed burdened by his words as she slumped forward until her elbows touched her legs and her hands went to her forehead.

She leaned closer to the fire causing Desmond to utter "Be careful".

However, she had no intentions to stay in that position for long.

Soon, Leonor stood up and held her skirts so they wouldn’t go towards the fire. She walked around the bricks that lined the fire pit and took a seat next to Desmond who seemed far less relaxed with her beside him.

"The entire situation began because you keep acting as if you don’t know me," she said, staring up at the duke. "Valerio was beautiful, I will admit, but I didn’t love him because of his appearance. I started to love him when he showed me tenderness I never experienced before. The fondness couldn’t have developed into love if it weren’t for him saving me and keeping me company while I healed."

It became hard to speak.

She ran a bit of her sleeve underneath her right eye so the tear threatening to spill wouldn’t fall.

"And I fell for you in the same way," she admitted. "Only to realize the two of you are one in the same. It’s really no wonder..."

Leonor tried to look away but she felt Desmond’s hand go to her chin. She realized he took off his glove to touch her as he often did.

"I don’t want to disappoint you," he practically whispered.

Leonor had purposefully sat on the bench in a way that kept her as far from him as she could get.

However, with his hand on her face, she scooted slightly closer until her leg was against the side of his.

"If I have to keep convincing you that you won’t disappoint me, I’ll do it," she said.

In a daring move she lifted her hand, wanting to reach out and touch him the same way he was touching her.

At first he grabbed her wrist to keep her back, but he wasn’t holding her too hard and she broke through.

For the first time, her right hand met the soft, scarred flesh of his face. Taking it a step further, she pushed off his hood.