My Disfigured Duke Husband Helps Me Plot My Revenge
Chapter 136: The Same Yet Different

Chapter 136: The Same Yet Different

When Leonor finally responded to Desmond, she was closer to the door than he thought she would be.

He realized she must have walked to him but wouldn’t open the door.

His gloved hand covered her doorknob but he didn’t turn it or push the door open–not when her voice was heavy with something he couldn’t quite place.

Despite the secret she possibly learned that day, he was relieved to hear her talking to him at all.

However, she said she wanted to be alone and Desmond put a fist against the door, willing that not to be the case.

"I can’t give you space right now," the duke admitted. "I’ll sit here until you’re ready to talk to me if that’s what it takes."

To Leonor’s surprise, she heard a shift of material as the duke lowered himself to the floor in front of her door. She could hear his metal sword slide against the hard wood that the hallway floors were made of.

If he was going to be stubborn, then so was she.

In much the same way, Leonor turned her back towards the door and leaned against it so it could support her while she also lowered herself to the floor. Since no one was there to witness the unladylike way in which she sat, she pulled her knees to her chest and got comfortable.

A decorative clock was on one of Leonor’s shelves in the far corner. She could hear it ticking away as silence fell over the two people insistent on not speaking to one another, though unwilling to leave the other alone either.

"Leonor," Desmond turned his head and spoke to the door’s crack so he wouldn’t have to speak too loudly. "Are you still there?"

"Desmond," she responded, though her voice had taken on more of a mocking edge. "Should I still call you Desmond? Perhaps I should go back to calling you ’your grace’ since I don’t know who you are."

As strong as she was trying to be, she turned her body to the side and gazed at the door. Her hand lifted and she pressed her fingers against the door. It was strange to think he was a mere few inches away.

Desmond took a deep breath and tried to sigh out the urge to tear down her door and force her to face him. He wanted her to hear him out even if he didn’t deserve it.

"I have always been Desmond," he admitted. "When I first met you I was Desmond."

Admitting they had a history together was a confession enough. She felt tears spring up at the corner of her eyes, though she wanted to be mad at him. He certainly wouldn’t hear the nearly silent gasp that escaped her lips as she traced her index finger along the grain of the wood that made up the door.

She remembered when he said his name wasn’t Valerio but it never bothered her.

Considering the silence had fallen over them again, Desmond felt he should explain himself further.

"I couldn’t live in an orphanage with a foreign name," he explained. "It was only after I was orphaned that I became Vale–"

"Don’t say his name!" Leonor finally revealed her crying by the way her voice was strained. "Even if he wasn’t anything to you, he was everything to me."

Desmond had a pang of regret. Her words struck him where it hurt.

"I won’t force you to understand why I decided to hide the truth," he began.

"To lie," Leonor corrected him. "For over a year."

Desmond removed his gloves and tossed them onto the ground. In frustration of his own doing, he ran a hand underneath his hood but over his head

"I lied to you for a year," he agreed. "I’m not the same person that you knew. He died and was burnt away the day the dragon appeared."

He put a hand against his neck. His voice was rough after speaking a lot that day. However, the pain was easy to deal with. He wanted to talk to Leonor more than his discomfort.

There was silence again, though not as long as before.

Leonor faced away from the door again as she tried to prepare what she wanted to say. She felt she wasn’t communicating herself correctly since her emotions kept pouring out of her uncontrollably.

At first, her voice was soft and he had to strain to hear what she said.

"You know, there were so many times when I looked at you and saw a bit of Valerio," she explained. "It happened on multiple occasions and I always told myself I was becoming delusional because of how much I missed him. Perhaps I finally snapped because I missed the one chance of love I would have. Yet..."

She had to trail off because she didn’t know what to say. It felt almost insignificant to feel anything except for elation considering the person she longed for was finally there. Yet it was more nuanced than that. Her heart was wounded.

Her voice became louder by the end of her words, sadness being chased away by conviction.

She wanted to hurt him the way he hurt her but he had been through enough hurt. That’s why all she could do was keep herself away from him. If he wanted her, he would have to learn how to deserve her again and regain her trust.

At that moment, it felt like she was someone easy to lie to and it wasn’t a position she wanted to be in. Husband and wife with only lies between them were just like her parents.

Desmond held onto her each word, knowing that everything she felt was valid and it wouldn’t be something she could move past overnight. He had broken her trust completely because he was a coward who couldn’t bear to present his true self to her.

"You said you changed, but I have as well," Leonor reminded him.

"Yet there isn’t a bit of you inside or out that I’m repulsed by," he said. "You still affect my heart the very same as before."

Leonor scoffed and tucked a strand of hair over her ear.

"If that were the truth, I would have been able to get through your defenses," she disagreed. "Just the way I did when I was younger."

Desmond grimaced and his eyebrows lowered.

"I can hardly control myself when it comes to you," he said, his voice rising. "You can’t understand what it’s like to know that the person I am now is nothing close to the one you loved. Anything beautiful about me was burnt away."

Leonor stood up suddenly. She was feeling angry.

With little warning, she opened the lock and wrenched the door open.

Desmond nearly fell over but caught himself and looked over his shoulder at Leonor.

"Your heart is still the same!" she cried, her chest heaving and her eyebrows lowered.