My Dear Duke(BL)
Chapter 59: Felix’s Past; Father’s Death

Chapter 59: Felix’s Past; Father’s Death

[Warning: Blood, Child Abuse]

Felix was once again lost in his past.

When did it all start?

Right...After his father died...

He remembered...

"Father!"

Little Felix cried and cried, wanting help. He had the habit of visiting his father every morning because his father strictly ordered him to wake up early, then come and wake him up.

Little Felix was always determined and wanted to impress his father. So as usual, he went to wake up his father but only to see the motionless body of his father lying on the bed, the clean white bed sheets stained with blood completely, a dagger stabbed onto his father’s chest.

He was around 8 or 9 when that happened. Even though he was quite intelligent for his age, he was foolish at the same time. He went to save his father. He wanted to wake up his dead father. Knowing he’s already dead, little Felix still tried. He wanted him to live even though his father hadn’t always been the best father and Felix hated him for hurting his mother’s feelings.

But...he wanted him alive.

He didn’t want this man dead.

He tried to shake him. He talked to his father.

Begged him and cried. He wanted his father back.

When Felix finally realised it was useless, he went to inform his father’s secretary who always arrives earlier than everyone and was already in the office, waiting...

The secretary informed others and little Felix had to watch people coming and going, examining his father’s body, then coming to question him. He was shocked because he finally accepted his father was dead.

He wouldn’t have a father anymore.

He couldn’t even talk well and stuttered for a long time and felt scared about everything.

To make things worse, his mother, out of the blue, started blaming Felix for his father’s death when he was already feeling worse.

It had nothing to do with him but his mother’s words always made him believe he was in the wrong.

He should have saved his dad!

He should have been the one to die instead of his father!

His mother was right.

He is a burden on this family and if he died, his father could still maintain the family.

Why was the useless person left alive and his father who did everything for them died?

Why didn’t whoever stabbed his father killed him instead of his father?!

Little Felix cried and cried, taking her mother’s beatings and curses to vent her frustration from the loss of her husband.

Eventually, his father’s investigation ended and a man was arrested who allegedly admitted to killing the duke. The duke had destroyed his illegal auction and he himself had sneaked into the mansion to murder the duke out of spite.

Things should have ended there...

But no...

During his father’s funeral, Felix’s mother, in front of everyone, gave her final goodbye speech, completely talking about how Felix must be happy to see his father dead because he had always wanted him dead.

Felix had no idea where this all came from.

He got a lot of glares that day. And eventually, people gossiped and as usual, they got more creative to make the gossip interesting.

That’s how those ridiculous rumours about a kid stabbing his father were born.

People knew it was not the truth but still made those and they justified things saying he must have maybe helped the killer enter his father’s room. Bullshit like that...

Felix was really sad. He was also grieving. Why did he deserve all this hate, especially from his mother who should be comforting him?

Before, no matter how harsh she treated him, he always loved her because she was his mother. But he was slowly growing up and understanding she was just a selfish person that never loved him.

He decided to distance himself away from his mother.

It’s obvious she hated him.

So, what’s the big deal? He could hate her too.

However, even before his hatred could take root, his mother’s physician came to meet Felix. He explained his mother didn’t mean anything and it was all because she was mentally ill after this tragic accident.

Right...

Her mother was said to be mentally ill after the sudden shock of losing her husband.

He asked Felix to help her. Get close to her. Don’t abandon her. Don’t let her feel lonely.

Take care of her.

In the end, that is how he ended up taking care of his mother.

Like a pathetic person, he couldn’t bring himself to hate her anymore. Even though everything in his past stings to think about, he will just do this.

It’s his mother. He can endure these insults for some more time.

He foolishly did indeed.

He didn’t give up and still treated his mother well but still having those tiny roots of hatred still under the soil, not grown. There was no going back from anything.

He once decided to hate her and he couldn’t change it. But he could wait. He will do her this favour. This is just out of pity.

No love was left for his mother in his heart anymore. Even if he didn’t really hate her yet, there was no love either.

That’s how he felt about his mother from then on.

Things weren’t easy.

His mother had really gone crazy.

Felix didn’t feel guilty anymore and he felt his mother was a burden.

Only if she had treated others well before all this happened, none would even hesitate to help her.

She was all alone and Felix had to pay the price, taking the responsibility all alone.

It was frustrating, hard and really troublesome.

He was just a child.

As time passed, his mother’s memory became very bad to the point she didn’t remember anything about her husband. But she did remember Felix and would suddenly change attitudes toward him.

Sometimes acting like a loving mother, then suddenly cursing him...Felix couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry for her. He had become a bad person just like people say. He must have become heartless after everything that happened.

During all this, Felix still had to take over his father’s duties and work too. He was stressed, tired and exhausted physically through this and was mentally suffering because of his mother.

While he had to work like this, all he had to encourage were the comforting words of his father’s secretary. He would be forever grateful to that man for helping him throughout all this.

Everything was really messy for a long time.

However, it all became peaceful all of a sudden with a turn of events.

It was when his mother ran away.

She left...for good.

Suddenly, everything felt good.

No more cursings.

No more headaches.

No more responsibilities.

Felix actually felt like his life had taken a good turn.

So did everyone else in the mansion.

Felix heard the maids happily talking about the duchess running away, telling how they feel so relaxed.

Having confirmed he was not the only one to feel that way, he decided to become selfish for this once and used those maids’ words as an excuse to justify his actions.

He wanted himself to deserve peace too.

So he didn’t look for his mother.

He just let go of her.

And wished...she would never come back.

He wanted this silence in the mansion.

It was very calming after always hearing her mother’s cursings. Also, he felt less stressed and got the chance to focus well on his work.

Everything was good.

Until it wasn’t again, unfortunately...