Married To A CEO. Omega
Chapter 53: Side Story-07

Chapter 53: Side Story-07

JOHN

Ruth called me to meet him today at his office. And my guts are telling me that something will happen to us today and we will never be the same again. It is not like I have never gone to meet him at his office after we started hooking up, it is just that the tone Ruth talked to me with something really unknown to me. Like I don’t even know the man on the other end.

Ruth is one of the brightest persons I have ever met. He has always been very nice to me. Even if we are not dating, he always treated me very nicely. So nicely that sometimes I mistook his behavior as love. And it made me really happy even if it was for even a little while.

I know Ruth will never fall for someone like me. But it didn’t help the thought looping inside my head that, if he treats me like this when we are not even seeing each other then how much will he love the person he loves? It makes me happy and sad at the same time. Thinking that the person Ruth loves will never be me. What do I expect? Someone like me can never be the object of someone’s affection. I should just be grateful that Ruth is treating me this nicely when I don’t even deserve it.

Love is something that I never expect someone to give me. Love is beautiful. So beautiful that it’s blinding. I have seen Erwin and Leo. Their love for each other runs very deep. Deeper than the ocean. The way they look at each other is something many people would sell their soul to get.

I am happy that they love each other. After all, even if I don’t find my happiness at least someone did and that someone is none-other than my best friend. Well, it’s not like I am unhappy right now. I am more than happy to be the side chick of Ruth. But I have this greedy need inside me to be more than that. But I know I shouldn’t be greedy. It brings nothing good.

I am happy to be able to sleep at night, like I always wanted. I have had this insomnia ever since I can remember. This something runs down in my family bloodline. My father suffers for it till to this day. I have visited countless doctors to solve this problem but it was all for naught. And miraculously, one day this blond man barreled inside my life and made me fall asleep in his arms. I can never forget how it feels like to sleep properly. And it’s all thanks to Ruth. He has my gratitude or maybe it’s something more than just this.

Something that I can’t decipher. That is beyond my imagination.

I take a long breath before knocking on the back door. "May I come in?"

"Please." Ruth’s deep husky voice comes from the other side of the door, waking shivers throughout my body.

I slowly push through the door. Ruth is scribbling something on his pad with a stony face which is very unlike him. I am not used to seeing Ruth without his bright sun-like smile. Other than that the heavy bags underneath his eyes are telling me that something is really wrong. But I can’t fathom what. Ruth Harlock is lacking his usual dazzling charm.

"You are here." Ruth lifts his head but doesn’t smile at me. My heart sinks.

"Is there something wrong, Ruth?" I stall on my track, "You don’t look quite good." I ask worriedly.

Ruth pushes off his revolving chair and walks over to me, "Let me hold you." Ruth requests.

The look in his eyes is making my heart sink even lower. I hate how he is looking at me as if this is the last time. I hate how my stomach is flipping underneath his gaze. I nod slowly and splay my hands to accept him in my embrace.

He lowers himself for the embrace. He hides his face in the crook of my neck as his hands wrapped around me tightly. I don’t have any idea what Ruth’s pheromones feel like. But I know how his body smells. He smells like fresh sandalwood. Very refreshing and soothing, just like his personality.

"John..." He calls after a long pause, there is a slight tremor in his voice. My stomach twists even more violently. "Let’s stop this." He breaks free from my arms and looks me in the eyes.

"Stop what?" I ask even if I know what he is talking about, the rim of my eyes reddening.

"Stop doing this." His eyes gesture ’us’. "Stop being tangled up in each other’s life. Stop hooking around. Stop making each other feel what we shouldn’t feel. Stop infiltrating each other’s minds. Let’s stop whatever we are doing."

"Why?" I grab his arms, "Why now? Can’t we just stay like this for a little while? Just a little bit longer?" Desperation evident in my eyes, as I clutch onto Ruth’s scrubs as if my life depends on it.

"No we can’t." He lowers his head, hiding his face from my view.

"Why not?" Tears start to well up in my eyes, "D-Did I do something wrong?"

"You fell for me." Ruth lifts his head a little to make eye contact once again. "You are in love with me." He repeats quietly.

My heart sinks deeper, "I-Is that wrong?" I rasp, breathe stuttering out of my lungs and my heart pounds loudly against my chest.

"Yes it is." He jerks my hands off him. "I told you that despite whatever we are doing, you can’t fall in love with me. The moment you do everything we have will shatter into dust. I told you...Why did you have to fall in love with me, John? Couldn’t...couldn’t we just be what we were before?"

"Why can’t I love you?" I straighten up, a scowl taking place over my desperation. Sudden anger mixing up with the angst in my adrenaline, "What’s wrong with me loving you? Why can’t you love me back?"

"I-I just can’t." Ruth stutters, "I-I love someone else."

"So all this time you were just making a fool out of me." I run an exasperated hand over my hair, trying so hard to keep my anger in wraps. But I can’t. It’s like a volcano, eager to erupt.

"N-No, John. I-I_" Ruth tries to defend himself and this is making even more angry.

If Ruth just simply said that he didn’t like me and broke up I think I would have been fine but he is saying that he loves someone else even so he played with me. Made me feel like...like I was being loved. He made me love him. Made me feel grateful to him.

No. It isn’t his fault at all. It is my fault that I got swayed away by all his sweet talks and shits. How did I even think that he would like someone like me? How pathetic can I just be?!

Now I get why I am angry to the point that my whole body is shaking uncontrollably. It is because of myself. I was so naïve that I fell for a person who wanted nothing but my body. It’s okay, right? He made himself clear at the very first. I was the one who mistook his generosity for love.

"Fine if it is what you want." I sniff, "Let’s stop this. This is whatever we are doing. From now on never try to contact me again. And I am taking Steve out of this hospital too. So don’t try to talk with him either."

"Wait," Ruth retorts, "Why are you dragging Steve into this? He has got nothing to do with it. He needs therapy! You can’t just...just..." He trails off.

"Listen Ruth, it is solely my decision what I do with my brother. I am his legal guardian." I poke at Ruth’s chest with my forefinger, rage pouring out of my teary eyes, "I don’t give a fuck what you have say regarding the matter. And if you do I will be much obliged to tell Erwin the things that we have done together and I assume you can already predict the outcome."

"Are you threatening me?" He narrows his eyes, "What will that asshole do to me, huh?"

"Look Ruth, I know what Erwin did to your younger brother is something he shouldn’t have but don’t you think our situation is quite the same? Aren’t you doing the same things he did with your younger brother?"

Ruth doesn’t say anything. He just bites his bottom lip. His eyes are screaming just how miserable he is right now.

"When you beat Erwin for that, he didn’t say anything about it because he knew that he was in the wrong and this time you don’t want to admit it." My voice cracks, "last time Erwin needed to visit the hospital and this time I think you will need to visit the graveyard. So, please I beg you. Don’t ever try to come back to my life and make it even more miserable than you already have. Please."

With this I storm out of Ruth’s office. A part of me wants him to hold me back and the logical part of me wants to escape him. Hot salty tears start to stream down my face. I know I look ugly when I cry but I can’t help it. MY heart is feeling like it’s being stabbed with endless sharp needles. It hurts. It hurts so bad that I can’t even breathe.

My heart is broken. Ruth broke it. And not just into two pieces but into a million pieces.