Mage Manual
Chapter 521 - 425 I’m Allergic to Humans

Chapter 521: Chapter 425 I’m Allergic to Humans

When Ash sprang out of bed, his first reaction was to rub his eyes nonstop, wishing he could scoop them out for a thorough wash.

"Ash, you’re up? Then I’ll open the curtains," came Harvey’s voice from the top bunk, followed by the opening of the drapes. The blinding morning light awakened the dust on the desk, and the immaculate golden words echoed in the cramped and dim room.

Igula sat on the opposite lower bunk flipping through the Gospel Book, his pajamas dappled by cuts of sunlight through the floral curtain, an image of serene tranquility. Speaking of which, Ash remembered that the Swindler’s Gospel Book used to be glitteringly gold, almost engraving the words ’worship gold’ into its title, yet lately, the Swindler’s Gospel Book had begun to change. Although it still featured a gold and silver color palette, the design style had become very similar to Ash’s own Gospel Book.

What did this imply?

It meant that Ash’s aesthetic was superior, so much so that Igula couldn’t resist copying the cover from his friend’s circle.

"Where’s Banjee?" Ash glanced at the top bunk across from him, where the blankets and pillows were already neatly folded.

"He went to prepare breakfast," Igula, noticing that Ash was staring at him thoughtfully, raised an eyebrow, "Can you not look at me like that? It’s kind of sickening."

"No, I was just looking at a beautiful woman for a long time and feel like I completely understand a beauty’s features," Ash very professionally offered advice, "Igula, if you could grow your blond hair a bit longer, you’d fully meet the standards... no, even without growing it, just cutting it a bit more finely should be enough... You get what I’m saying, right?"

Having spent a full hour looking at pictures of Sword Witches, Ash now saw their afterimages in everything, superimposing them upon the Swindler and quickly noting areas where the Swindler could improve in terms of appearance.

"I get it, of course, I do. You’re just picking a fight and trying to scam me into getting a buzz cut, aren’t you?" Igula retorted. "Harvey, aren’t you going to show Ash your haul from tonight?"

"Hm? Ash, you want to see it?"

From the top bunk, Harvey passed down a box and Ash took a glance. Then all traces of Sword Maidens and Witches vanished from his eyes, leaving only a crowded mass of entangled roaches in the box seared into his mind!

Smack!

Sweet words and a hidden dagger stuck directly into the opposite wall, and within a second, Ash turned into a streak of light and fled to Igula’s bed, clinging to the wall like a startled cat, his eyes unblinkingly fixed on the Necromancer as if ready to teleport away again at any slight movement.

"Are you still afraid of roaches?" Igula couldn’t help but laugh as his lips twitched, tossing his blanket over.

Ash immediately raised the blanket to form a three-dimensional defense: "No matter what it is, when there’s enough quantity, it can scare me, even if it’s just poop or Gold Coins... Harvey, you have to use your Invincible Ice Cold Flowing Fire to incinerate them to ashes! What are you doing, keeping them for supper!?"

"First off, Ice Cold Flowing Fire can’t ignite anything," the Necromancer covered the box of roaches: "Second, your thinking is right, I plan to marinate them in venom and turn them into food."

"Igula, I feel a bit weak, you help me inform Red Hat, there’s a perverted Necromancer here..."

"Don’t be so tense," Harvey said with a you’re-making-a-big-deal-of-it look: "It’s not for you guys to eat."

"Why does that sound like a threat to me... I’m still shaking uncontrollably from fear!" Ash said, "Can’t you do something a bit more human?!"

"This is for Alice to eat," Harvey explained with a shrug, "I’m preparing to enhance her with Ghoul strength, and one necessary step in the ritual involves swallowing corpse-eaters. Although the best materials would be Holy Beetles, Blood Worms, and Corpse Ghosts, given our current situation, as you know, we have to make do with roaches."

Ash looked bewilderedly at Igula, who then explained, "Holy Beetles can tunnel into the body and crawl to the brain, Blood Worms can squeeze into the bloodstream and flow into the heart, Corpse Ghosts have extremely violent corpse toxins... They are all common corpse-eating pets during a Blood Moon."

"Pets?" Ash was truly shocked: "Are we in the Blood Moon that amazing? Why not have normal pets like cats and dogs?"

"It’s the result of various psychological tendencies like self-destruction, Vogue for the broken and craving for filth all eating away and entangling each other," Igula said while pushing his hair behind his ear. "In a land where everyone has psychological disorders, you need to lower your expectations of them."

"I’ve lowered my expectations as much as I can, down to the ground!"

"If you had been a psychiatrist for a few days, you’d know you have to use a shovel to dig beneath the ground until you excavate those rotten, stinking, twisted plant roots. That’s when you really see the true Blood Moon."

"What about you, Igula? If you were to have a pet, what would you keep?" Ash suddenly asked.

"Hm?" Igula paused slightly, "Probably... a cat, I guess?"

"Aha, just as I expected," Ash said with an ’I knew it’ expression, leaving Igula somewhat baffled.

"See, so me just collecting roaches is pretty normal," Harvey sighed. "Ah, why can’t roaches grow to the size of a palm? They’re just too small to make a decent meal."

"Even if they were the size of a palm, they’d still be too small—I mean, I wouldn’t be enough for them to eat." Ash suddenly realized something. "Wait a minute, Harvey, how did you manage to catch so many roaches?"

"I’ve got a Technique Spirit that’s specifically used for gathering corpse-eaters. I came back from the Void Realm in the middle of the night. Since I had nothing better to do, I just collected them along the way. This is the whole building’s worth." The Necromancer explained, "After all, there’s quite a need for corpse-eaters in the rituals of the Necromancy Faction."

"Then, when those roaches gathered," Ash swallowed hard. "Wouldn’t they crawl, crawl over us—"

"No."

Igula calmly said, "I came back early tonight as well, and I was watching Harvey collect the roaches. The roaches all moved along the ceiling, clinking into his box—in no way did they come near our bunks."

"Exactly," Harvey said, waving his hand. "Don’t be fooled by my appearance, I’m actually quite careful not to let the food touch you."

"Watching the whole time...?" The Cult Leader looked at the Swindler with an awed gaze.

"Self-destructive, admiring decay, seeking filth." Igula closed the Gospel Book with a slight smile. "Guess which ones apply to me?"

"Time for breakfast!" Banjee’s voice came from outside.

Seeing Harvey actually bringing the box of roaches downstairs, Ash immediately said, "If you dare to take that box outside, I’ll fight you to the death!"

The Necromancer looked at him oddly, nodded, and said, "As you wish."

He summoned a dark-green Technique Spirit and squeezed out murky purple-cyan liquid into the box, then covered, sealed, and stuffed it under the bed—which, since Harvey bunked above Ash, was actually under Ash’s bed.

"Conversion requires connection to the ground; I was going to put it on the balcony, but under the bed is fine too," shrugged Harvey.

Ash looked at the quiet box in the shadow beneath the bed and felt all the hairs on his back stand on end. "Igula, how about we switch beds?"

"Not happening."

"Your bed looks pretty big, how about—"

"Either squeeze in with Banjee or go sleep with Hanna and Liss." Igula was adamant: "I’m allergic to humans."

"You weren’t this picky back in prison!"

"Developed the allergy after meeting you, you should reflect on that."

The three left the bedroom and were greeted by a living space of roughly twenty square meters. The kitchen and living room were separated by a wall. Banjee was not in his Housekeeper attire but casually wore an apron, placing six breakfasts on the foldable round table, looking like the gentle high school student from a girl game.

Liss, in her oversized pajamas, yawned and sat down on a stool, curling up her long white hair. Ash and Harvey wanted to brush their teeth in the bathroom, but as soon as they entered, they were chased out by Hanna: "Boss goes first."

The Cult Leader came out to see the Swindler combing his daughter’s hair and curiously asked, "Igula, why aren’t you brushing your teeth?"

"I’ve already taken my bath." Igula held Liss’s shoulders to keep her from fidgeting. "Refusing to act with you is a simple trick to improve the quality of my life."

Ash and Harvey reluctantly went to brush their teeth on the balcony. Three meters away was the opposing balcony, where a typical mixed family of five lived: a Beastman grandfather, an Elf grandmother, a Beastman father, a Sea Demon mother, and their Sea Demon child. The Sea Demon child seemed reluctant to get up for the day, while the Beastman grandfather was sitting in a rocking chair on the balcony, drinking tea and reading the Gospel Book. He saw Ash and Harvey, slightly lifted his teacup to say hello.

Ash and Harvey nodded in acknowledgment and then took a big gulp of water, gargling and spitting it right into the balcony drain.

Even though roaming the Void Realm was as good as resting, after this ritual, Ash indeed felt much more refreshed. He looked up to see the bright sky sliced into chaotic shards by the wires between apartment buildings. Early commuters stood on balance scooters, weaving through the streets. Far off in the chaotic, haphazardly expanded forest of post-modern apartment buildings, drunken Goblins lay on the roadside, stripped of their clothes, with people walking around them and stray dogs urinating on them.

The dawn’s light spilled like oil paint, coating this chaotic yet vibrant, bizarre city. Here, cutting-edge technology was ubiquitous, yet it was accompanied by twisted, ugly cityscapes and abysmal public order, looking much like a golden-rimmed toilet.

This was the city that perennially took last place in all city rankings, had a population size within the top five nationwide, was dubbed ’Gospel’s Noise,’ and was known for its freedom—the chaotic metropolis of Fidel.