Loving The Temperamental Adonis
Chapter 288 - 26

Chapter 288: Chapter 26

"What do you mean by crisis of conscience?" Rayne asked, not fully understanding his meaning. She was confused and uneasy, becoming more so by the moment.

"I’m trying to explain that I need to be sure you’re here with me now for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. Until this morning, I didn’t know you were that close with your deceased father and that his death affected you more than it did your brother, and you’re feeling a little lost and alone.

"On top of that, you’re faced with the burden of trying to run his business. You’re worried and you’re scared. All those emotions may be clouding your judgment about what you and I are doing." He paused for some response from her.

Wary of saying anything, Rayne simply nodded that she understood, even though she didn’t.

Not completely. Not yet.

"Until an hour ago," he continued, "I thought your boyfriend was some middle-aged jerk who didn’t care about you enough to stay with you. Are you following me so far?"

Rayne nodded slowly.

"Good. Then here’s the reality: In Zen, there’s an eligible man who wants to marry you. Here, in this room, there’s a man who wants to make crazy love to you until neither of us has the strength to move anymore. But it can’t go any further than that. It would get much too intricate for me and my life."

"And you don’t like intricacies?"

"No," Liam said. "Especially not the kind that would follow if you think for a moment there would be anything else between us other than this."

Rayne’s heart sank. "I’m glad you told me this," she said, struggling to view her unfortunate situation unemotionally, without feeling mortified that she’d let herself land in this embarrassing, degrading situation in the first place.

Viewed from the right perspective, she knew she was better off finding out now, rather than later, that Liam’s only interest in her was as a brief, convenient partner for a little fun sex.

Now that she understood, she also knew she would end up feeling guilty and disgusted with herself for betraying Max for something as cheap and meaningless as what Liam was shamelessly suggesting.

Furthermore, Liam’s summation of her state of mind was probably right: she was an emotional mess over her father and she wasn’t thinking rationally. Because if she was thinking rationally, she would never have agreed to even take Liam to dinner last night.

Thankfully, Liam was thinking very rationally and behaving very honorably by letting her know how he felt. And to give him even more credit, he wasn’t pressuring her to settle for what he was offering her, either. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Having arrived at these conclusions, Rayne felt truly relieved and clearheaded—and, somewhere deep inside of her, painfully disappointed and wretched.

For the moment, however, there was nothing she could do except try to be calm and good-natured, and then deal with the mental turmoil later, when she was alone In her room, away from Liam Thompson.

"You were right when you said I’m overly emotional these days because of my father’s death, and my judgment isn’t from a clear mind, as well."

Even as she said that, Rayne’s instincts and her heart insisted that although she may have been wrong about everything else, there was something special about the connection she felt with him and that he felt it, too.

She decided to take a small risk and lay that all out for him. There was nothing he could do but make fun of her, and she didn’t think he would do that from what she’d come to know of him.

Raising her eyes to his, she said softly, "I think fate may have intended for us to meet yesterday and get to know each other better—that it was predestined..."

The instant she said predestined, he gave her a skeptical look, leaned his shoulder against the window, and folded his arms over his chest.

His body language was a clear eloquent reflection of any supernatural influences being involved, but Rayne didn’t want him to mock her theory before he understood it.

"I know this might sound crazy but I think I like you very much," she persevered quietly, "and I think you like me, too—"

"It’s not crazy. I do. I like you very much, too," he admitted with a sudden smile that was warm and genuine and made Rayne’s treacherous heart skip a beat.

"That’s what I meant when I referred to fate and predestination.

I’m usually slow and cautious about liking someone, and I was really hellbound on disliking you before—"

"Why?" He said so suddenly that his displeased expression made Rayne chuckle against her will.

"Have you ever tried to see yourself from another woman’s perspective, or ever taken a good look at your face in the mirror?"

"..." He touched his face and looked at her questioningly like he had no idea what she meant and why she disliked him in the past for his face.

"I disliked you because you were always with different women, and you have a goodlooking face for a man. I disliked you because I never really cared to know the real you before I judged you." Out of words and explanations, Rayne gave him the only actual example she could think of.

"The best way I can make you understand what I’ve been trying to say is this—" Holding her hands out palms up, she smiled wryly and said, "Look at us now. We’re in a hotel room, our topic is sex, and we’re discussing it as if we’ve been friends forever. Without any anger or pretense, you’ve made me realize I would be making a big mistake if I go to bed with you."

Finished, Rayne waited for him to agree.

With eyes narrowed in thought, he nodded slowly as if he was arriving at a conclusion that surprised and somewhat displeased him. "That’s what we’ve been deciding?"

Since he seemed to be asking himself that question, Rayne saw no reason to answer it.

Furthermore, it was an odd question under the circumstances, and she was running low on clever, rational answers.

Instead of replying, she stood up and strolled over to the balcony doors.

"Now, since I haven’t cheated on my boyfriend," she said lightly, "and neither of us has done anything we’ll regret later, why don’t we do what two new friends should do on such a gorgeous island—let’s go sightseeing!" She suggested, trying to mask her hurt with an excitement she wasn’t feeling.

"When I’m back in Zen and you’re—wherever you are—we can exchange numbers and call each other, and talk about things like—’Remember that charming little eatery in Maranta?’ After we’re done sightseeing, you can drop me off at the vet’s office, if you wouldn’t mind. I’ll pick up Eric and take him back to the island club and wait for Max to return tomorrow."

When Liam didn’t reply after several moments, Rayne glanced over her shoulder and saw that he hadn’t moved an inch from his earlier position.

He was still standing with his shoulder propped against the window and his arms folded over his chest, only now he was looking at her with his brows drawn together.

She studied his handsome, flawless features and could not make out even a hint of what he was thinking. "Can I ask you something?" she said hesitantly.

He nodded.

Unable to meet his gaze while she asked her question, Rayne turned back toward the balcony, absently rubbing her arms.

"Are you disappointed that there was no real connection between us last night? That it was just the setting and the moment?"

When he didn’t immediately answer, she flicked a glance over her shoulder. No longer looking at her, he had tipped his head slightly down and to his right, as if he were studying the carpet.

"No," he said curtly; then he lifted his head and looked straight at her. "No," he repeated more confidentially.

A realization hit Rayne like a physical shock from an electrical pole. As clearly as if he’d said it to her, she knew it was true, and surprise made her turn fully toward him.

"You really didn’t feel the magical connection I felt last night, did you?"

"No. I didn’t. You used the term ’magic’ to describe last night; I didn’t," he said as he straightened from his lounging position.

Strolling toward her, he gave her an impatient lecture on his reality. "I do not believe in predestination, soulmates, or magical connections. I also do not believe in miracles, spells, or witchcraft."

"But they are real," Rayne tried to argue.

Some of the tension went out of his face at her words. "You don’t really believe in that garbage, do you?"

The disappointment Rayne felt earlier was turning to hurt because she now realized he was pleased with their situation today and even purposely causing it to some extent. Why was she even trying to force him to see what, in his own reality, didn’t exist?

Was she so desperate for attention that she was forcing him to see that they were meant for each other? He had made it clear that he wanted nothing from her but a casual fling, and that part hurt more than she wanted it to.

She’d known from the beginning that Liam Thompson could never keep a woman because he had feelings for her. Studies had shown and proven that men who carry and change lovers often would never have the ability to form an attachment with one person, but she’d silently hoped for more...

Struggling to keep her tone neutral and not show him any of her emotions, she said, "At this point, it no longer matters what I believe."

"Pretend it does," he said.

"All right, I believe in them. I don’t know what magic is or how a soulmate bond works, but I felt it last night with you. I’m willing to agree that you weren’t the cause of it, but—"

He cut her off with a mocking laugh. "I suppose you’re going to try to convince me you felt this magical connection with your boyfriend and that you were in a relationship with him because of that?"

It was like a bucket of cold water was doused over her head at his mocking words. She sobered immediately. Clenching her fists, she said,

"First of all, I’m not trying to convince you of anything. Second, if the answer to your question was yes, I wouldn’t have been with you last night, and I wouldn’t be here now. Third, and most important of all, don’t you ever mention him again," she warned angrily. "You have no right to discuss him nor make fun of him."

It was this first-time defense of the boyfriend that warned Liam he had now run out of rope with her and he was standing close to the edge of a dangerous brink.

She had too much pride and self-respect to settle for what little he was willing to offer. She wanted something more, and without it, she was staying faithful to her boyfriend. In fact, her mind was already made up to stay with him.

"What matters," she continued in a calm, apologetic voice as she unknowingly shoved him clear off the brink, "is that you refuse to believe in what I believe in, and I refuse not to believe in it. And therein lies the gap we can’t bridge. Not in this room or anywhere else."

Liam felt himself plunging through thin air, sent over the edge by a beautiful young redhead with the face of an angel. Even so, he made a manful attempt to gain a foothold and stop his fall by suggesting, "Why don’t we go to bed and see what happens there?"

She shook her head and smiled that mature smile of hers. "Why? So I could try to make you feel the connection while you try to prove there is none? One person can’t make that kind of connection. It takes two. It’s inevitable that you’d succeed and I’d end up being disappointed. If I’m going to be disappointed," she admitted in a gentle tone,

"I don’t want it to happen with you. I don’t know why, but I don’t want to have another reason to dislike you now that I know the real you."

She turned away and stepped through the balcony doorway, looking out at the water. "Let’s go sightseeing now and try to get to know each other as friends before I pick up Eric and take him back with me. I’ll wait out here if you’d like to change clothes."

Liam experienced the full force of his renewed free fall, complete with sensations of his stomach twisting into knots and wind howling in his ears.

Drawing a long, steadying breath, he gazed at the slender back of the woman he’d allowed to do this to him; to mess with his emotions and mind. And his balance returned, he felt the floor beneath his feet.

On the balcony was an exquisite young woman who touched his heart, overheated his blood, and made him do things he would normally not do. She was passionate and sweet, honest and unpredictable.

She smiled like an angel, and was kind enough to adopt an ugly, stray dog with fleas. She was magic. And he was...

Completely enchanted by her.

Walking up behind her, he slid his arms around her and drew her back against his chest. "Let’s get involved, Rayne," he said with desperation in his voice.