Loving The Temperamental Adonis
Chapter 183: I will always love you

Chapter 183: I will always love you

Mia braced herself for another heartbreak that was about to hit her in Neil’s message about her stupidity for loving him when he only desired her sexually, but when she tapped onto the message and began to read, the tenderness and joy that exploded in her heart healed all her wounds for the past month. The world fell away and all that existed for her was the unbelievable words she was reading and the man who had typed them to her without ever intending for her to read them...

[My darling Mia, I know you’ll never see this message, but it helps me to type them down for you every day. It keeps you close to me. Damn, I miss you so much. You haunt every hour of my life. I wish I’d never met you as a child. No—I don’t mean that! What good would my life be without my memories of you in my teen to make me smile.]

She read that part and paused, he’d met her as a child? She wondered cluelessly but then she resumed to read on to see what was written ahead.

[I keep wondering if you’re happy now that you are back home with that fiance of yours. I want you to be. I want you to have a glorious life with him. Because I felt you deserve better, not a man like me who couldn’t bring himself to say the words I knew you wanted to hear when we were together. Mia, I’d gone through a lot in life that makes me despise the word you wanted to hear me say, and I was afraid if I did, I’d be like my father. I knew you wanted me to say I loved you, but I couldn’t, and I’m sorry I didn’t even try to make you feel better.

I want you in my life, I want to wake up to you every morning. I’d give up all my life to have one year with you. Six months. Three. Anything.

You’ve stole my heart since the day I met you in Mirage Mesa as a boy, darling, and you gave me your heart since the day we met again at that rooftop in Ivy Grove. I know you did—I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me, but I was too afraid of becoming like my father.

I don’t regret the loss of my freedom any more or rage at the injustice of the years I spent in prison. Now, my only regret is that I can’t have you. You’re young, and I know you’ll forget about me quickly and go on with your own life.

That’s exactly what you should do. It’s what you must do. I want you to do that, Mia.

That’s such a lousy lie! What I really want is to see you again, to hold you in my arms, to make love to you over and over again until I’ve filled you so completely that there’s no room left inside of you for anyone but me, ever. I never thought of sexual intercourse as ’making love’ until you. You never knew that.

Sometimes I break out in a cold sweat because I’m afraid I got you pregnant. I know I should have told you to abort my baby if I did get you pregnant. I knew it in the mountains, but Heavens, I didn’t want you to, Mia.

I thought of a solution that never occurred to me before. I know I have no right to ask you to have my baby, but there’s a way to work it out, if you’re only willing to keep it. You could take a leave of absence from work and go away—I’ll see that you have plenty of money to compensate for what you’d lose from your job and to pay all your expenses. I don’t know if my name would be cleared before the baby is born, but if it’s not, I’d like you to take the child to my grandma’s in Puerto Rico. If you’re pregnant and you’ll willingly to do this for me, I’ll send someone to make the arrangements to keep you safe.

I haven’t been in Puerto Rico in ages, but my grandma has never turned away from a responsibility in her life, and she’ll see that our baby and you are properly taken care of. She has control of what would have been a very large inheritance of mine; a part of that inheritance will be more than enough to give our baby and you a better life until I’m free.

I’ve decided to send this message to you after all. It’s a mistake. I know it is, but I can’t stop myself. I have to tell you what to do if you’re pregnant. I can’t bear the thought that you won’t realize there’s an alternative to an abortion. The man who gives this to you is a best friend of mine, you are free to tell him anything you want.

He’s putting himself in jeopardy to clear my name, just as you did. Trust Liam as completely as you’d trust me. Tell him if you’re pregnant and what you’ve decided to do with our child so he can relay it to me. One more thing, I know you might try to argue, but i want you to have as much money for whatever you need or want in your condition. The black card Liam will give you is mine, so there’s no point in arguing with him about taking it, take it. He’ll be acting on my instructions, so don’t give the man a hard time, sweetheart. I have plenty of money for my own needs, and there’s more where that came from.

I wish I could say all this to you in person or that I’d kept one of the other messages I’ve typed every night so I could send that instead of this. They were all much more coherent than this one. I won’t try to call or send another message to you until I’ll be free and I don’t know when that would be, so don’t expect one. Keeping contact will make us both hope and dream, and if I don’t stop doing that, I will die of wanting you.

Before I go—I read somewhere that you’ve cut off your engagement with Owner. That’s good. Stay away from him, I don’t want you keeping contact with him, get rid of everything he’d bought for you and I’ll make sure you get new set of everything. And If you dare to think about asking him for anything, or even allowing him to take any little responsibility for our unborn child, I will haunt you for the rest of your life.

I like you, Mia. I’ve liked you as boy. No, I think I’ve loved you! I’ve always did, and I will always love you. Everywhere. Always. Wait for my return.]