Loving The Temperamental Adonis
Chapter 135: Kiss me back

Chapter 135: Kiss me back

With shame streaking through her in sick waves, Mia snapped her face from the screen and stared at Neil through a blur of hot tears as he began to walk swiftly toward her. "You bastard!" she cried, backing away as he neared her.

"Mia," Neil said, reaching for her shoulders in a helpless attempt to comfort her.

"Don’t touch me!" she cried, trying to fling his hands away from her shoulders, writhing and slamming her fists against his chest while a rush of sobs erupted from her throat.

"Do you have any idea how much I suffered for the past five years because of you!" she wept. "I worked myself out just so I could step out of the shadows of the terrible reputation you got me in. I used my sweat to become who I am today, I was respected by many women but now you’ve made me into a public slut!"she cried hysterically, "Little girls looked up to me and wanted to be like me! Do you think they’ll let me show my face again on screen or go close to any children now that I’m a national scandal who made out in the snow with an escaped murderer who they also claimed is my lover?"

The realization that she was probably right slashed through Neil like a jagged razor, and he tightened his grip on her arms. "Mia, listen_"

"I’ve spent the last five years of my life," she sobbed brokenly, struggling harder against his grasp, "trying to be good for my mom. I was doing so good!" she wept, and the sound of her pain transmitted itself into Neil even though he didn’t fully understand its source. "And now, you’ve ruined everything for me!"

As if she’d finally exhausted herself physically, she stopped struggling and her head fell forward, but her shoulders continued to shake with sobs. "I tried so hard," she choked. "I became a presenter so mom would be proud. I—I go to charity events to be close to children who make me happy. They won’t let me close to the children any more after this..."

Mia recalled all the nights she’d spent drinking in the darkness of her room when the world turned it’s back on her years ago, when no one wanted to be close to her all because of Neil Wayner, she would drink herself into insanity until she started to hallucinate. Back then, only by visiting the orphanage and being around the children would she finally find peace. She’d strived diligently to earn forgiveness from the world by going above and beyond, showcasing her efforts online. Yet, today, everything was breaking down once more, all due to her foolishness in trusting Neil Wayner again.

"I am ruined, nobody will ever welcome me into the society again, I was never wanted and I will never be..." She cried, her voice choked with emotions.

Suddenly Neil couldn’t bear the weight of her sorrow or his own culpability any more. "Stop it, please," he whispered achingly, wrapping her in his arms, cupping his hand around her head and holding her face pressed to his chest.

"I understand, it’s my fault and I’m sorry. When this is all over, I’ll make them see the truth."

"You understand!" she repeated with bitter scorn, lifting her tear-streaked, accusing face to his. "How can someone like you understand how I feel!"

Someone like him. A monster like him. He thought as rage overruled his guilt. "Oh, I understand!" he bit out, holding her away from his chest, shaking her until she looked up at him. "I understand exactly what it feels like to be despised for something you didn’t do! I understand perfectly!"

Mia choked back her protest at his rough handling as she registered the fury on his face and the agony in his gray eyes. His fingers bit into her arms, and his voice was raw with emotion. "I didn’t kill anyone! Do you hear me? Lie to me and say you believe me! Just say it! I want to hear someone say it!"

Having just experienced herself a tiny part of what he would feel if he was truly innocent, Mia cringed inwardly at the thought of what he could be feeling. If he was truly innocent... She swallowed, her blurry eyes searching his haggard, handsome face, and she spoke her thoughts aloud,

"I believe you..." she whispered, fresh tears starting to spill over her lashes and down her cheeks. "I do."

Neil heard the sincerity in her tearful voice; in her brown eyes he saw the dawning of true compassion, and deep within him the wall of ice he’d kept around his heart for years began to thaw and crack. Lifting his hand, he laid it against her soft cheek, his thumb helplessly rubbing away her hot tears.

"Don’t cry for me, Mi amor." he murmured, his voice hoarse.

"I believe you!" she repeated more firmly, and the tender fierceness of her reply demolished what was left of his reserve. Neil’s throat clenched around an unfamiliar knot of emotion, and for a moment he stood there, immobilized by what he saw and heard and felt. Her tears were streaming down her cheeks, clinging to her sooty lashes, wetting his hand, and she was biting down on her lower lip, trying to stop it from trembling.

"Please, don’t cry," he whispered achingly as he lowered his mouth to hers to stop her lips from trembling. "Please, please don’t..."

At the first touch of his mouth, she went rigidly still, her breath indrawn, though Neil had no idea if it was fear or surprise that made her go still. He didn’t know and didn’t care at that moment. His only desire was to hold her, to savor the sweet feelings swelling inside him—the first sweetness he’d felt in years—to share it all with her.

Telling himself to go slowly, to be content with whatever she was willing to permit, Neil slid his lips back and forth over the contours of hers, tasting the saltiness of her tears. He told himself not to push her, not to force her, and even while he did, he began to do both.

"Kiss me back," he urged, and the helpless tenderness he heard in his voice was as alien to him as the other feelings coursing through him. "Kiss me back," he repeated, sliding his tongue over the seam of her lips. "Open your mouth," he coaxed. When she obeyed and leaned into him, crushing her parted lips to his, Neil almost groaned aloud with the pleasure of it.

Desire, raw and fresh, poured through his veins, and suddenly he was acting on pure instinct. His arm tightened, angling across her back, holding her hips pressed to his while his lips forced hers to part wider, and his tongue plunged into the wine-flavored softness of her mouth. He backed her against the wall, kissing her with all the persuasive force he could muster, his mouth slanting over hers, his tongue teasing and provoking, his hands slowly sliding down her spine and then up.

His hand slowly slid under her sweater. Her soft, bare skin felt like liquid satin beneath his hands as he caressed her narrow waist, stroked her back, and spread his fingers over her midriff, and then he finally let himself seek her breasts. She pressed closer to him and moaned into his mouth when he touched her breasts, and the sweet sound was all he needed as approval, it made his entire body throb while his fingers explored every inch of her breast and nipple, his lips locked to hers, his tongue exploring with rampant hunger.

To Mia, what he was doing to her was like being imprisoned in a cage of dangerous, terrifying sensuality where she had no control over anything. Particularly herself. She knew in the back of her head that what she was doing was considered cheating on the man she was going to be marrying, who was now worried sick about her, but she couldn’t bring herself to put a stop to the sweetness of what he was doing to her. Beneath the exploration of his long fingers her breasts were beginning to ache with need; against her will, her heated body was molding itself to the hardened contours of his, and her parted lips were welcoming the continued invasion of his tongue.

Neil felt her fingers sliding into the soft hairs at his nape, and he dragged his mouth across her cheek to her ear. "Damnit, you are so sweet, querida!" he whispered while he took her nipples between his fingers, forcing them to harden into tight, hard buds, wanting to lavish her with pleasure. "Little one," he murmured hoarsely, "I want you, I need you so badly...you are beautiful." He whispered against her mouth with his hands pulling up her sweater.

It might have been the way he’d addressed her, or perhaps it was his ridiculous use of the word beautiful that finally broke the sensual spell she was under, but Mia slowly realized that what they were doing was entirely wrong and that she would be a real slut if she didn’t put an end to it. She felt his hand gently squeeze at her breast and she heard herself moan into his kiss, but this time she mustered the strength to push at his chest.

"Don’t!" she warned quickly, pulling free from his arms, pushing him away and yanking down her sweater. For a moment, Neil simply stood there, breathing deeply, arms at his sides, feeling completely abandoned. Mia’s face was flushed with desire, and her glorious eyes were still glazed with it, but she looked as if she wanted to bolt for the door if he were to come any close to her again.

Softly, as if speaking to a little child, he said, "What’s wrong, querida?"

"Just stop it right now!" she burst out. I am not your darling. I do not want to hear you call me that. I don’t want to hear that I am beautiful either."

Neil gave his head a shake to clear his foggy mind. Suddenly, he realized that she was breathing in quick, shallow pants, watching him as if she half-expected him to pounce on her, tear off her clothes, and rape her, he said very quietly and very carefully, "Are you afraid of me, Mia?"