Legend of the Cyber Heroes
Chapter 791 - 36 Trauma

Chapter 791: Chapter 36 Trauma

"This girl seems to have severe PTSD," Tumor Xiang Shan said in Jeanne’s brain. "If you ever find a psychologist, you should probably refer her as well."

"PTSD? What is this nonsense from the old era? Some kind of cultural phenomenon?"

"Post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD!" Tumor Xiang Shan couldn’t believe it: "Does your era really not care about this?"

"What are you talking about?" Jeanne hid herself in a corner, downloading data extracted by a Trojan from the local server.

"Some events completely surpass a person’s everyday experience and fully collapse their normal capacity to deal with problems. Once such events occur, they can have a destructive impact on human psyche. Even if healed, scars remain... Tch, I feel like your generation can’t quite grasp this metaphor. Let me put it another way, the mind is like clear glass. Then one day, the glass shatters, and when you glue it back together, traces are left on the glass... "

Jeanne retorted, "Is it so hard to find an adhesive almost identical in refractive index to glass?"

Tumor Xiang Shan was silent for a few seconds, then said resentfully, "Hmm, ah, praise material science — but such glass can no longer be used as optical components in laser weapons, right?"

"But the optical components of laser weapons are not glass. They are artificial crystals, right?"

Tumor Xiang Shan sighed: "Damn, I miss those days... I used to perform these kinds of sophistry regularly on TV. Anyway, that’s not the point."

"I kind of understand now. You’re just saying that Asgard, because of what happened back then, has a hole in her soul," Jeanne said. "When the conversation reaches this point, she becomes like a completely different person, extremely irritable and aggressive... "

"Psychologically, she is reliving the moments of betrayal by her superiors and being purged," Tumor Xiang Shan added.

Jeanne commented, "Sounds like a psychological disease only weaklings would get."

The shock in Tumor Xiang Shan at that moment clearly penetrated into the depths of Jeanne’s heart.

"I’ve heard a story, Jeanne," Xiang Shan said. "It’s from the old times, before the era of Benchmark Man. An aging hero saw a fragrant pear – a fruit that somewhat resembles a hand grenade – rolling on the ground. Without thinking, he instinctively acted. He lunged forward and pressed his body against the plant fruit. He thought it was a hand grenade and wanted to minimize the casualties around him — for Homo sapiens, this meant gambling one’s life for the survival of peers."

"This is a person with boundless courage. Even I might not have such courage. But his heart still had scars. Part of his soul remained on the battlefield and never entered a peaceful life. Even such a Brave, would feel fear towards ’war,’ an event that exceeded everyday experiences."

Jeanne said, "I don’t think he was afraid."

"Because his courage could overcome fear. But do you think, when he was pressing his body against what he imagined to be a ’grenade,’ his heart was filled with joy and happiness? Such a person can defeat the fears emerging in his heart countless times. But this fear is still meaningless — in a peaceful environment, he should not have such fears. This hero does not need to fight these futile ’battles.’ It’s just that the scars in his heart refuse to believe that he is living in a lasting peace," Xiang Shan explained.

"In his decades of life, how often would he face moments of ’falling tiny objects on the ground’? Would the shadows left by the battlefield flash before his eyes at those moments? And did he overcome his inner self before continuing with his everyday activities? I hope not; I sincerely hope that it was aging that first made him forget his decades of peaceful life."

"But Jeanne, the human brain inherently possesses mechanisms that trigger such phenomena. This might be tied to some evolutionary behavioral theory where, at some stage of evolution, it might have offered our ancestors a slight survival advantage. The brain wasn’t born to make us happy. Humans, through culture or self, mold themselves into the Brave but can only overcome and are not spared from the psychological trauma these physiological mechanisms bring."

—Humans seek happiness, yet the physiological mechanisms that give birth to them are not designed for attaining happiness...

An abnormal sorrow seeped into Jeanne’s heart. Tumor Xiang Shan always strictly sealed his thoughts. Jeanne could only ever feel blurred emotions. Only when the emotions were very distinct would some thoughts drift into Jeanne’s mind.

Xiang Shan felt deeply a "certain fact" to be sorrowful.

Jeanne still hadn’t fully understood.

Jeanne countered, "By that logic, you should be sicker, even dead, Xiang Shan."

"Regrettably, I don’t have any memories of dying. This fact can’t traumatize me," he replied.

"Waking up to find you’ve been dead for two hundred years, even turned into a brain tumor?"

"Hmm, that is quite impactful. But honestly, not as astonishing as ’Martial God’s Eleven Defeats’."

Jeanne recalled her reading of Martial Ancestor’s memories, saying, "Don’t you think that you’re not normal? Not like a person."

"I do have a bit of self-awareness about this," Tumor Xiang Shan admitted with ease, "Since my youth, my ’daily life’ has been ’reforming the world’—this mission permeated my familial, friendly, and romantic relationships. I sacrificed my entire life to it. My mental state is indeed... different from most in Homo sapiens. But you mustn’t say I’m not human, my girl. Being in the minority doesn’t exclude me from humanity; they are just as human as the majority."

"Haha."

"Alright, enough chit-chat. I’ve already used my Inner Strength to sort through the data for you. There’s still no sign of the Mobile Cavalry. In the hours during which the battle occurred, there seems to have been no characters resembling Mobile Cavalry passing through this area."

Jeanne opened her eyes and exited the dark corner. Just outside, in a slightly more open area, Asgard stood by a weapon, charging herself at a charging station. She seemed to have forgotten the earlier displeasure and asked Jeanne, "Find anything?"

"Nothing in this area either, but..."

"Well, having no clue is also a clue," Asgard agreed with this assessment, "If they didn’t pass through here either, then a greater likelihood is..."

"The nearer-to-ground areas?" Jeanne suggested.

Asgard said, "I was bored and checked the local forums. Some locals were discussing a few high-level battles that happened in the near-ground areas."