Kissing Hellfire: Marry Me, Evil Lord
Chapter 191: A Man’s Insecurity

Chapter 191: A Man’s Insecurity

The cold wind blew Lauren’s way as she stood in the tower of the castle, looking over the townscape beyond the castle’s vast lands in the middle of the night.

"You should be in our room. It’s cold here." Alec was suddenly by her side, putting a thick robe over her shoulders.

It was almost midnight. Alec was reading court cases in their room when Lauren said she’d go down for a moment to get herself a glass of milk. When she wasn’t back after thirty minutes, he decided to look for her. There, she saw her standing in the tower with only her flimsy nightdress shielding her fragile body from the cold.

"I just want to breathe some air for a moment," Lauren said under her breath as Alec pulled her into his chest, his arms wrapped around her. "Done with the court cases?"

He didn’t answer. "Do you feel exhausted after what happened today? Does it bother you?"

There was a pause, a calm silence between their steady breathing. Jasper Owens knew nothing, it had been proven. Because of that, they only used him to torture Thalia. It was still all clear in Lauren’s head—Thalia’s cries and pleas, Jasper’s pain-stricken face as he was tortured by Alec’s flames, and how Thalia begged for her forgiveness. She must admit, it was evil of her to take pleasure in someone else’s suffering, but she couldn’t help but feel triumphant at the sight. She felt like all those years of painstaking efforts to survive the dangerous life in the castle had finally paid off. It was immoral but it felt right.

She didn’t kill Thalia with her own hands, though. After Jasper was tortured to death, Alec thought of a better way of giving Thalia’s death sentence. A more creative way of sending someone to her death, as Alec put it. Instead of cutting her limbs one by one or putting her on the guillotine, they sent her inside the soul-eating mirror just like Thalia did to Lauren. Alec said that it was the first thing that came to mind when he found Lauren half-dead inside the mirror. He wanted Thalia to suffer at the hands of wraiths before she died.

"No, I’m not bothered by it. I’m relieved that I finally got rid of Thalia the way I imagined it..."

"So why the gloomy face?" She felt his lips on her hair, sniffing, leaving soft kisses that made her melt in his arms.

"I am scared, I guess. I know that this relief is only momentary... we have more problems ahead of us, battles we need to fight. I fear that I might not be strong enough."

She moved her head away to look at him when he chuckled. "What’s funny?"

Even when his short chuckle died down, the smile on his lips remained. His gaze held hers with gentleness and admiration no one could measure. It was like staring at the most prized masterpiece, a one-of-a-kind treasure he’d always cherish.

"You must have forgotten that you broke into the infamous warlord’s house and asked him to marry you, Lauren. Not only that, you ruined the royal family even when you were just a little rebel princess everyone ridiculed. I don’t see any reason why you are not strong enough when you have proven how capable you are so many times."

She stayed silent as she watched his dark eyes lord over her. She understood what he meant, but she also knew well that she was as capable as she was dangerous. She couldn’t think about how many weeks or months she had left now. It mattered less. What she feared the most was hurting the people she loved like Simon told her.

"I want to ask you something." Her tone was firm, her expression relaxed.

"Anything."

"If..." she hesitated, "one day I would become a different person and try to harm you or anyone." She looked at his soulful eyes starting to turn darker, knowing well what she was talking about, but she still continued. "I want you to do me the honor. Please do it for me."

"That will never happen," he growled, his jaw clenching hard. He then uttered a series of words that were too fast and low for her to hear, but she was sure they were profanities. "I’d rather have myself killed by your hands than do that."

"Simon said it is what will happen to me if I continue to resist feeding on people’s energy. I won’t run wild like a crazy monster, but I’d lose my emotions. I’d probably forget that I love you-"

"You love me?"

"Seriously?" Her lips parted. "Do you have selective hearing, Alec? I am trying to explain why we should have necessary precautions-"

"You never said you loved me before," he cut her off again. The slight crease in his forehead and the rising edges of his lips told her how bewildered and astonished he was at the moment. His dark gray eyes were wide and looking at her with disbelief.

She couldn’t help but grin at his reaction. She was trying to talk about her death, but look where it got them... She started to dig into her memory to see if it was true that she didn’t tell him anything about his feelings and she realized he was right. She admitted to herself that she loved him, but she had never voiced it.

"I told you I want to marry you again. It means I want us to exchange vows without pretension just like a real wedding should be. Wasn’t that enough proof of my affection?" She snickered. She didn’t think he was the romantic type who needed to be told vocally about emotions. She thought how she had been treating him lately was enough to let him know how she felt about him and how important he was to her.

"I thought you were just giving me a chance. That you were only settling with me because it’s a lot more convenient than being with someone else. Well, I did believe that you started to care for me at some point, but not as much as how I care for you..." His eyes narrowed warily with a crooked smile.

She shook her head and a smile of disbelief crossed her pale face. She couldn’t believe that Alec Everston who had boundless confidence in himself was actually doubtful of a woman’s feelings toward him. It was true after all, a man was not without a single insecurity.