Jock Next Bed (BL)
Chapter 148: The godmother

Chapter 148: The godmother

Sky was at his godmother’s place—a sanctuary that felt more like home than anywhere else. She was his mother’s closest friend, practically a sister, and had raised him like her own. She had no children of her own, but as she often said, Sky and Rain were more than enough for her.

It was his third day here. He’d finished exams early, having taken fewer credits this term, and decided to escape to the one place where he could truly be himself. The salty breeze of the beach was sharp against his skin, but he remained seated on the cold sand, eyes fixed on the endless stretch of water. It mirrored the turmoil in his mind.

He didn’t even notice when his godmother appear beside him until he felt the warmth of a shawl draped over his shoulders. He looked up at her, the setting sun casting a golden glow around her face as she smiled gently before settling down next to him.

"Your mother called," she said, her eyes on the horizon. "She said your friends are worried. Your phone’s been off."

"I’ll call them later."

"When’s later?" she pressed, though her tone remained kind.

"Tonight," he answered with a sigh of resignation.

Silence lingered between them until she spoke again. "When are you going to tell me what’s wrong?" she asked softly. "It’s been three days."

"Auntie..."

"Don’t tell me it’s nothing," she cut him off firmly. "I’ve given you enough time to brood. Now it’s time to talk and reason."

He pressed his lips together, eyes fixed on the water.

Silence stretched between them which lasted for quite a while before the words tumbled out quietly, hesitant, as though unsure if they should be spoken. "I... fell for someone." His gaze dropped to the sand.

"Your roommate?" she asked without missing a beat.

His head snapped toward her, eyes wide with shock.

"Come on, don’t look at me like that," she said, amused. "I was at your parents place during your mother’s birthday party. I saw you." Her lips curved knowingly. "I know you well enough to know your eyes don’t linger on people—but they lingered on him. A lot."

Sky’s jaw practically hit the floor and she had to push it up back.

She chuckled, clearly enjoying his disbelief. "I won’t blame you. If I were younger, I might’ve thrown myself at him."

He finally got another reaction aside from shock—horrified.

"Auntie!" he exclaimed.

Her laughter bubbled up as she patted his back. "So, what’s the problem?"

His expression grew serious again and he returned to staring at the waters.

"I... don’t know," he admitted. "I don’t even know what to do."

The weight of his confession hung between them. She didn’t push him to say more.

"Let’s go inside. It’s getting colder," she suggested.

He nodded and let her take his hand. They walked back to the small house in companionable silence. Inside, she turned on the heater and sat on the floor, patting the spot beside her.

Sky sat on the floor next to her, his back pressed against the couch, eyes fixed on the flickering flames of the faux fireplace. The silence between him and his godmother was thick, but not uncomfortable. It was the kind of quiet that encouraged truth to rise from the depths of one’s chest. She was patient, always waiting for him to find his voice.

"I... want him," he finally admitted, his voice cracking. It was the first time he had said the words out loud, even to himself.

She didn’t flinch or look surprised. Her gaze remained steady, warm, and kind. "He is a person, Sky," she said gently. "Not something to possess."

He turned his head to look at her, confusion and vulnerability clear in his eyes. "I know," he whispered.

"You cannot want him," she pointed out calmly, "but you can like him."

Yeah. Like that was any better. He almost rolled his eyes.

"Does he like you?" She asked him.

Sky shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "I don’t think so."

"Do you want him to like you?" she pressed.

He bit his lower lip, his hands clenched on his knees. "Maybe...?"

Her voice softened. "Do you want to date him?"

He swallowed hard, shaking his head again. "I can’t."

"You can’t?" she asked, her brows furrowing.

"Auntie, you know it all." His sad eyes met hers, raw and desperate. "I can’t... I can’t even wish for something like that. I’m not sure I even want that."

"Why?" she asked, tilting her head in concern.

"He is... a guy. And so am I," Sky admitted, his voice barely audible.

"Sky—"

"You know how much effort it took to get here!" he interjected, his voice rising, thick with frustration. "You know everything. It took years for me to prove I can be this Adonis that everyone loves. A man. A perfect man. A real man." His voice broke, and he looked down, shoulders shaking slightly.

"I know," she said quietly, her eyes drifting to a framed photo hanging on the wall.

Sky’s gaze followed hers. It was a picture of her with two adolescents.

One look at the frame and people might think it was of two identical girls. And even if they were told that one of them was a boy and asked to guess which one was, there was a higher chance they would assume Rain was the boy than him.

"I can’t let all that fall apart," Sky whispered. "What am I supposed to say to my parents? To everyone? My... my father would kill me." He laughed bitterly. "And I don’t have the confidence to even think about being with a guy. Ever."

Her voice was soft but firm. "Would you be okay seeing him with someone else then?"

"I would die," he confessed in a tight voice, shaking his head. "I’m selfish. I know. I can’t be with him, but I don’t want him to be with anyone else. It makes me sad... so angry. I couldn’t focus on my studies. I felt like I was going to fail my exams. I think I may fail." He began to ramble.

"I wanted to talk to him. I want to talk to him. But every time I open my mouth, I say all the wrong things. And it’s already bad that I’m a guy—"

"Why is that bad?" she interrupted sharply "being a guy."

"It’s... easier to... discard me even if he likes me in the future." His voice was filled with pain as he admitted that.

He wasn’t even sure where all these thoughts were coming from.

"I love Rain," he said. "I do. But the fact that she’s there... it’ll always remind him. Always remind everyone that there’s a female version of me who’s better."

"Oh, shut up, sweetheart!" she exclaimed, exasperated. "You and Rain are two completely different people—"

"But Rain likes him," Sky interjected bitterly. "I don’t stand a chance if she decides to push for it."

"Does he like Rain?" she asked calmly.

"I don’t know," Sky admitted, uncertainty lacing his voice.

Another round of silence stretched between them.

It was all complicated.

It made sense that he said he wasn’t sure what to do. Because he really had no clue what he even wanted.

He wanted him.

He also didn’t want him.

But he didn’t want him to be with anyone else.

And he also didn’t want to be with anyone else.

The woman’s expression softened. "He’s the first person you’ve ever liked, isn’t he?"

He nodded, eyes glistening.

"Can you remember when or why you did?" She asked quietly.

When?

It was hard to tell.

The only thing that he could remember was that he had not liked Rachel from the very first moment he saw her with Chris at the cafe. And the more he saw her, the more he disliked her. She was a nice person, yes. But he had been confused at some point. Until it all began to make sense.

Why he liked Chris?

He had no idea.

She sighed, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Sweetheart, I know everything you’ve been through—the surgeries, the medications, the embarrassments, and the sacrifices you’ve made to be where you are. You’re a strong and beautiful man. Don’t overthink this."

She placed a hand on top of his and squeezed gently. "Why don’t you take this time to figure out what you really feel for him? If it’s obsession, you need to work on it and let it go. But if it’s something genuine, something real... you need to let yourself be free to explore it."

He looked horrified at that suggestion. Explore it?

"Yes, you might be scared of heartbreak or disappointing your parents, but life is about choices. What’s more important?"

Their conversation stretched long into the evening, filled with moments of tears, silence and uncertainty.

Later that night, Sky turned on his phone. Missed calls from friends and family lit up the screen. He sighed and called his friends first. They were relieved to hear from him, immediately insisting that he be back by Sunday.

"It’s been ages since we all partied," Henry teased.

"I’ll be there." Sky assured them even though a party was the last thing he was looking forward to.