Immortal Paladin
211 Shape of my Soul

211 Shape of my Soul

Wen Yuhan’s memories, though fragmented and marred by deliberate tampering, offered more than just scattered recollections. They were a treasure trove of hard-earned insight, rivaling even Nongmin’s accumulation of knowledge. The most valuable among Wen Yuhan's accumulated knowledge was her understanding of the cultivation systems in the Greater Universe. There were three major realms recognized in most orthodox systems: the Ascended Soul, the Ruler of Laws, and the Supreme Being.

While I remained clueless on the exact nature of becoming a Supreme Being, I at least now knew the pathway into the Ruler of Laws. That was something I could grasp. A distant milestone, yes, but no longer a mystery wrapped in fog.

Heck, I wouldn’t even know the Perfect Immortal was called Ascended Soul if it wasn’t for Jue Bu…

In the Greater Universe, two orthodox paths were followed in pursuit of ascension: the Longevity Path and the Transcendent Path. The former was cumbersome, subdivided into eleven realms, grouped further by tiers, and each demanding specialized techniques and elemental balance. Honestly, it sounded like a bureaucratic nightmare in cultivation form. In contrast, the Transcendent Path was conceptually cleaner, starting with Legend, Quasi-God, Demi-God, and then God. But each step required the completion of unique Labors, feats of mythic proportions. I suspected the LLO power system back on Earth borrowed heavily from the Transcendent Path. Too bad this wasn't a game. There were no interface windows, no quest logs, and no floating prompts offering experience bonuses.

Still, once I stabilized my footing in the Soul Recognition Realm, perhaps I could try walking both paths. No rule said I couldn’t. A deep breath filled my lungs as I activated Zealot’s Stride, soaring into the sky like a streak of light. My bones vibrated with tension. Would the tribulation come as thunder, as frost, or as fire? I wasn’t sure yet.

I narrowed my eyes and invoked the Destiny Seeking Eyes. Thousands of threads unwound before me… some showing lightning bolts skewering me through the spine, others ending in my success. A few hinted at me being frozen solid or worse, losing control of my form entirely. Yet none guaranteed my death. That was enough.

High in the air, I moved through the forms of my martial kata, invoking the cultivation of Martial Tempering. Each motion rang with power:

—Divine Smite, a blazing line through cloud and sky.

—Thunderous Smite, coiling arcs of electric fury.

—Searing Smite, setting the heavens alight.

—War Smite, roaring like ancient drums.

With each move, I layered the intent of Mind Enlightenment, expanding my Divine Sense outward. Its reach extended no further than the Sacred Groves’ border, and its precision was riddled with static, but it was enough to feel the thickening of qi across the region. My Pure Yang Spiritual Root pulsed in resonance with the world, absorbing rising qi like a thirsty sponge. The clouds above swirled ominously in reaction.

I settled into a cross-legged position in the air. Yin qi gathered inside my dantian, slowly converting into yang qi, yet my body showed no signs of reverting to male. I could complain, but let’s be honest… asking the heavens for gender correction was a bit low-priority compared to everything else.

I inhaled again, invoking the next level: Will Reinforcement. My intent was imprinted upon the world, shaping the clouds into a spiral above me. Finally, I called forth the latent faith I had accumulated through my Spirit Mystery Cultivation… the very same faith harvested from years of playing a shrine maiden named Wen Yuhan. It wasn’t clean, but it was potent. It fed into my soul like a river of purpose.

Lightning flickered. Frost crept along my limbs. The air warped, pulling at my skin and bones.

In the Longevity Path, the first four realms corresponded to the Great Four Attributes: Martial, Mind, Will, and Spirit. I had integrated them. What remained was the Soul Recognition Realm… a step inward rather than upward. To advance, I needed to see the shape of my soul and declare it to the heavens.

Most would use Qi Sense to descend into themselves. I had something better. Divine Sense opened the path.

I shut my eyes. The world slipped sideways.

When they opened again, I was not in the clouds but inside a dusty classroom.

A voice spoke, hesitant but earnest. “Sir… uhm… do we really need to bring an eskrima stick to next class?”

I blinked. I blinked again.

What the hell…?

Had I just walked into my own memory?

No, it wasn’t my own memory exactly… More like a reenactment…

I stared at my clothes. A simple polo shirt, clean, ironed… definitely not the robes I wore as a shrine maiden in New Willow. The fabric hugged me differently. My skin was fairer than usual, too smooth, and too light. It was unfamiliar in a way that made my bones itch. My eyes scanned the room: the green chalkboard, the broken wall clock above it, the ceiling fans spinning slowly in protest against the heat. This wasn’t the Sacred Groves. This was a classroom.

A student beside me was applying makeup in the reflective shell of a pink compact mirror. I plucked it from her hands without asking.

“Hey! Rude much? You’re lucky you’re kinda cute… wait, give it back!”

I ignored her. I wasn’t being vain. I needed to see.

In the reflection, I saw the face of David_69, my avatar in LLO. The cheekbones were sharper, and the jaw was slightly squarer than Wen Yuhan’s delicate profile, but unmistakably mine. Somehow, I had come to identify with this mask more than the many faces I had worn in both this life and the past.

I handed the compact back without a word and turned to the back of the room.

There he sat.

A man in a pristine white tuxedo lounged in the farthest corner like he owned the place. Golden eyes shimmered with unnatural light, and when he smiled, I felt my spine stiffen. He looked exactly like me. Same brows, same mouth, and same crooked smirk. It was like looking into a mirror sculpted by gods who had access to every version of my face. He didn’t belong, and yet he fit here like a puzzle piece I never knew I lost.

I sighed. “Just who are you?”

He tilted his head, amused. “You already know. I was there when you ruined the Summit Hall. Nongmin showed you a vision… remember? I interrupted.”

“I thought you were a heart demon.”

“Oh, I’m definitely a heart demon,” he said, his smile widening, “yet at the same time, I am not.”

I took a deep breath. I imbued Soulful Guiding Fire into my right palm and stepped forward, vanishing with Flash Step. I appeared in front of him, swinging a Divine Smite-fueled punch wrapped in golden and emerald flame. It was an attack that could blast holes in mountains at my current level and could probably do more.

It should have connected and smashed through whatever smug aura he had.

But it didn’t.

My fist hovered just an inch from his nose. I pushed harder, but it wouldn’t move. Sweat beaded at my temples. Pain bloomed in my chest. Each time I tried to force it through, something inside me resisted. And then I understood.

It was me. I was stopping myself.

He gently placed a hand on my fist and lowered it. “By manipulating the distance between our hearts, I made you love me, care for me, desire me… and not want to hurt me… Isn’t the heart beautiful?”

He stood, eyes locked on mine. “I don’t like you.”

The moment the words left his lips, pain lanced through me like a curse. My knees buckled. I coughed up blood. My soul trembled as if rejecting its own existence.

“Maybe I will like you,” he said softly, “if you kill yourself.”

I tried to scream. I needed to wake up, to get out, to move, but he wouldn’t let me.

Heart clicked his tongue, thoughtful. “Killing you would be a waste. I changed my mind… Don’t kill yourself…”

The classroom emptied like smoke vanishing in the wind. It was just us now, two gods… or at least, one and a pretender in a shell of memory. The chairs were still warm, and the scent of perfume and dry-erase ink still lingered in the air.

“So this is Earth,” Heart murmured.

“Was it you who sent Aixin after me?”

“Yes.”

I scoffed. “So you’re a fucking pussy then—”

The moment I said it, I knew I’d gone too far. My lips vanished. Not sealed. Not gagged. Just… gone!

Heart’s voice was cold, casual, and cruel. “Don’t be arrogant in front of me. My voice alone can shatter you. Even if the Hollowed World dampens my presence, even if this False Earth is somehow protecting you… I only need one note to erase your name from existence.”

I looked down. My chest began to thump erratically. Pain exploded as something within burst. My ribs split open like gates, revealing my heart, raw and pulsing. The flesh around it bubbled and bulged, forming grotesque shapes… tiny heads, arms, mouths… tumors that whispered words of love, need, and obsession. They were children, lovers, friends, enemies… all attachments I had ever fostered in my heart, born from it, feeding on it.

Heart watched with wonder. “You’ve earned my curiosity. But if I talk to you any longer, your soul might dissipate. Don’t die, Da Wei. Good luck on your cultivation.”

The next thing I knew, I was gasping for air, drenched in cold sweat, hovering midair among thunderclouds. My kata had broken. My flames had vanished. The Soul Recognition Realm loomed ahead.

But I didn’t feel like a cultivator.

I felt like a human, barely holding himself together.

Interrupting my thoughts was a sudden, unbearable heat.

The air turned syrup-thick, stifling. My blood boiled in my veins as if the sun itself had poured fire into my heart. My instincts screamed that I could still push through, still ascend… endure the heavenly tribulation, connect my dantian to my soul, and then, through that thread, affirm my existence by recognizing my soul.

But I hesitated.

Because in the sky above me, blotting out the very heavens, was a massive sphere of flame. I squinted at it, shielding my eyes with the back of my forearm, and blurted out, “Is that a meteor?”

It wasn’t. I couldn’t feel any trace of earth qi. It wasn’t stone or metal. It was pure fire qi, condensed to a level so absurd that it burned the space around it, distorting the clouds and forcing the heavens to twist like writhing cloth. I turned my gaze downward and saw the horizon… the Sacred Groves, the fringes of the cities nearby, the outlines of temples and villages, silhouettes of civilization all around us.

"Shit."

I’d been overconfident. I thought I’d isolated myself far enough from civilization to undergo tribulation safely. But of course, it wouldn’t be normal. Nothing about me ever was. I should have known better.

Wen Yuhan’s body, refined as it was for spellcasting and subtle arts, wasn’t built to withstand this. It lacked the raw durability that might’ve let me stand still and tank it. No matter how many enchantments I layered, no matter how much faith I gathered, this shell would melt long before that sun-like tribulation descended.

There was only one way out.

I had to reach the Soul Recognition Realm.

Now!

I shot upward with Zealot’s Stride, aiming straight for the heart of the fire. My clothes ignited almost instantly, disintegrating into golden embers. I drew on the power of faith, squeezing out the essence of every belief, every prayer, every whispered hope ever directed toward me. That energy became quintessence. My flesh began to crisp and blister.

“Blessed Regeneration,” I whispered through clenched teeth. Holy light surged, knitting new skin as fast as the fire could burn it away. "Just a little more."

What was a soul?

They say it’s the immaterial part of a person. That it’s eternal. But none of those definitions felt complete. To me, it boiled down to one thing: Who are you?

I could be many things… Da Wei, David_69, Wen Yuhan, even the shrine maiden of New Willow… but none of those truly answered the question. Names weren’t identity. Masks weren’t soul.

Still, the 'who' mattered. Identity was a gateway to understanding.

So what was the shape of my soul?

Beasts who reached this realm sometimes shed their monstrous forms and gained human shape. Why? I never truly understood, not even after living through the lives of several demonic beasts through Divine Possession. I remembered the Summit Hall. Beast kings had sat at the table beside human cultivators, noble and wretched alike. They behaved just like us, driven by impulse and desire. That was when I realized something important.

They shaped themselves into humans to claim heaven’s providence.

Humans were favored by providence and fate.

My vision flickered. Through Divine Sense, I saw that my body was blackened, charred like a lump of meat left too long over fire. Even Shield of Eternal, cast over and over again, could only delay the inevitable. I was burning alive. But I kept going.

I kept healing and believing, until a faint thread began to emerge from within. I saw it not with my eyes but with my soul… a silver filament linking the storm of my dantian to something far greater.

Connecting your soul to the dantian… No, that was wrong. That wasn’t it.

The soul connected to the universe… the dantian was only the anchor.

And then, in that moment of agonizing clarity, I saw it.

I recognized the shape of my soul.

It wasn’t a blade, or a flame, or a crown. It wasn’t divine, celestial, or monstrous.

It was the shape of my burden. A weight I had always carried. The guilt. The responsibility. The duty. I was always carrying something… people, expectations, stories, and memories. I didn’t even know if “burden” could have a shape. But for me, it did. It was in the shape of a cross. More specifically, the cross that used to be a sword, reminding me of Silver Steel that I left in the Hollowed World.

I remained within the heart of the inferno, suspended in a tempest of molten heat. My blackened skin peeled and curled, only to be mended again and again by Blessed Regeneration. The fire qi thickened, taking shape as molten spears that threatened to rain down upon the Sacred Groves below. I could not escape this place… not yet. Instead, I raised my hands and invoked my will.

I reached the Soul Recognition Realm.

And the soul that had emerged from me wasn’t light.

It was anchored and rooted in gravity, weighed by purpose.

Depending on the shape of your soul, you gain a unique attribute. For me, burden meant one thing: the higher the stakes, the stronger I would become.

“Judgment Severance!”

A golden cross tore open the flames. It ruptured reality itself, swallowing fire and chaos into a gleaming abyss. The flames vanished into the cleft, the clouds above it snapping like curtains in the wind.

But I wasn’t done.

I’d never done this before.

I cast a second Judgment Severance. There was no cooldown, and no system restrictions anymore… not since LLO’s rules stopped applying to me. I merely paid the cost in soul, will, and quintessence.

The flames recoiled. The sky dimmed. The furious red glow receded, giving way to the gentle, pale blue of morning.

It was over.

The Sacred Groves were safe.

And I… I had seen the shape of my soul.