I Woke Up Piloting the Strongest Starship, so I Became a Space Mercenary
Chapter 561 「Absolutely Not」

Now then, about the ceremony itself—honestly, it was so weird that even after experiencing it, I still don’t understand it.

I mean, technically, everything went according to the rehearsal. At least, the parts I had to do were. But there were these massive, over-the-top holograms depicting the creation of the universe, and dancers swirling around like it was some kind of space carnival. I had no idea what was happening. Is this really what a refined noble wedding is supposed to be like…?

Oh, and then the three brides descended from the heavens in their wedding dresses. I had to catch each of them, one by one, and lower them to the ground. Yeah, we did rehearse that part too, but don’t ask me what the symbolism was supposed to be. I have no clue. They all looked satisfied, so I guess it’s fine…?

Everyone other than Chris, Serena, and Elma was seated on a tiered platform near us, watching the whole thing unfold. Mimi and the others were in dresses that looked almost like wedding dresses too. A bit more modest than the main three’s, but still. Probably part of that ‘consideration’ Marquis Holz mentioned earlier.

The ceremony reached peak formality when His Imperial Majesty himself graced us with his presence and gave a congratulatory address. Huh? What did he say, exactly? Uh… sorry, I kind of zoned out. I think it was about blessing our union, but the phrasing was all so formal and archaic that it just went in one ear and out the other. Honestly, it was more like a sacred ritual chant than an actual speech.

「Were you listening to Grandfather’s speech properly?」

「I was. More or less.」

I mean, I heard it. Didn’t retain it, though.

Luciada, Imperial Princess and Mimi’s cousin, gave me a suspicious stare from across the table. Yeah, seeing her up close again… they really do look alike. Their details differ, but they share a lot of facial features.

「…Staring at me like that is a little embarrassing, you know.」

「My apologies. Just struck me again how much you resemble Mimi when I see you face-to-face like this. That said, you’re not quite the same, either.」

「We’re that different?」

「Quite. The face, maybe not so much—but your mannerisms and the air about you are distinct. Other things too, for that matter.」

From a psionic standpoint, their mental wavelengths—or spiritual frequencies or whatever—are totally different. Even if Luciada styled her hair like Mimi’s, wore her clothes, and fudged her body shape a bit, I’d never mistake her for Mimi.

「I was actually thinking of sneaking off disguised as Mimi, but with that level of confidence, it seems that plan’s a no-go. How disappointing.」

「Not even as a joke, okay??? That’s the kind of stunt that’d get the Crown Prince personally sending people after me, right???」

If, god forbid, she slipped me booze and I ended up drunk enough to lay a finger on her…? Yeah, I can already see my whole future going up in flames. Even before that—just the act of her boarding my ship alone, unescorted, would be enough to end me. So please just stop. I am not joking.

「Forgive my impertinence, but Princess Luciada… to hint at such an illicit act before me, on the very day of our wedding, at this very table—would you not call that… deeply inappropriate?」

Chris, seated beside me, smiled gently as she radiated a jet-black aura. Her tone and expression remained composed, but I could feel the presence of a black cat—or rather a black panther—baring its fangs behind her.

Neither Serena nor Elma said a word, but they wore the same kind of pleasant, spine-chilling smiles. Scary. Meanwhile, Princess Luciada just brushed off their pressure like a summer breeze. She might have Mimi’s sweet looks, but this girl’s nerves are steel.

「Ufufu, don’t worry. I have no intention of stealing your groom away. I simply wish to be free of the suffocating life I lead. Just like my great-aunt, Celestia-sama.」

「Please don’t. That’s exactly the sort of talk that would make His Majesty and the Crown Prince pass out.」

Incidentally, you might be wondering why we are having this conversation with the Imperial Princess at a moment when we should be busiest, just after the wedding. Normally, nobles and other attendees would be coming by in waves to offer greetings, but that whole process was skipped under the pretense of entertaining Princess Luciada. Marquis Holz and Elma’s father, Viscount Willrose, were the ones who suggested this—basically, they used the presence of the princess to cut out the parts of the event I’d hate the most.

As for the highest-ranked guest, the Emperor gave us his grand blessing… and promptly left. Apparently, the Emperor doesn’t have time to stick around for the whole show.

「By the way, I’ve been reading all kinds of books about Celestia-sama recently. And my favorite show these days is The Rampaging Emperor.」

「Please enjoy that on your own time, far away from me.」

Celestia is that totally unhinged lady who, being an Imperial Princess, stole a ship and went on playing merc for decades, rampaging all over the universe. And that show is based on a lunatic Emperor who disguised himself and turned corrupt nobles into bloodstains. That’s your role model!?

Hey! This Princess is secretly obsessed with the most dangerous weirdos in Imperial history! Someone in the imperial household needs to do something about this walking threat, now!

「Alas, rejected once again…」

「Please don’t sneak aboard my ship. If anyone tries to take my head, I’ll have to take theirs instead.」

「Oh my… how bold. You’re not even entertaining the idea that you might lose to an assassin or agent?」

「Of course not. I’m strong, you know. Probably far beyond anything you’ve imagined.」

The truth is, at this point, it’s nearly impossible for an ordinary human to kill me. And that includes physically enhanced nobles. Even if several dozen—or several thousand—came at me, I’d still come out on top. At this stage, I doubt I could even be sniped from outside my perception range—because doing so is probably literally impossible.

「Then I suppose I can sneak aboard without worry.」

「I said no, damn it!」

Maybe she finally picked up on my seriousness, because she puffed out her cheeks and pouted. Yeah, that’s cute, but no. No is no.

「Very well then. I’ll find a legal way to board.」

「Legal or not, just stop. Seriously. And how exactly do you imagine that playing out? What reason could possibly justify an imperial princess stowing away on a mercenary’s ship and gallivanting across the galaxy? After this, we’re heading to the Dareinwald domain for another ceremony, and then it’s off on our honeymoon. There’s no opening for you to squeeze into. It’s just the newlyweds from here on out.」

I made it absolutely clear. I’ve already given up on avoiding political entanglement due to my relationship with Serena, but taking on an imperial princess? That’s way above my pay grade.

「Grrr… it’s not fair. I want to run wild out there too. Let’s go take down some corrupt nobles and pirates together!」

「Absolutely not.」

This violent princess is seriously terrifying. I don’t know how strong she is, but as a member of the imperial family, she’s definitely had some serious enhancements. Who knows how much raw power is packed into that cute Mimi-like body… and it’s not just strength. She’s got authority too. That’s a deadly combo.

「Okay! That’s enough of that conversation! Let’s change the subject! Flowers! Let’s talk about flowers or something!」

Feeling genuine danger radiating from the princess’s enthusiasm, I forcefully steered the conversation elsewhere. No way I’m gonna let her wrangle some kind of verbal agreement out of me—not today.