I Reincarnated as a Noble Bastard, So I'm Seducing All the Villainess
Chapter 35: In Bed Next to the One I Hate Most

Chapter 35: In Bed Next to the One I Hate Most

Ahhh, what a delightful thing. It’s rare I get the chance for a warm bath. At my house, I didn’t even have a heated shower, and I’d deal with cold water falling on my head every morning, but it’s impossible not to enjoy water like this in the tub.

How good it is not to face demons, mid-day chases, deal with highly dangerous women wanting to rip my dick off... it gives me so much peace of mind.

The bathroom door suddenly opens. I turn my head and find... Elizia? This angel with blue eyes and blonde hair can only be her, dressed in a towel and walking towards me with her thin legs like a muse.

"Can I join you too, Darius?"

Always, my goddess!

Elizia steps into the tub and sits on the opposite side of me. Ah, it’s a bit embarrassing to see her like this, but it’s so good!

"Why are you staring so much? Do you want to... touch them?"

Touch? I can touch?

"You always can, Darius. I’m not your ’favorite whore’ for nothing, am I?"

Then forgive me if I attack those beautiful things you carry!

Hmmm? Wait, the texture is different... less firm? I’m not sure, but the touch isn’t the same as what I’ve experienced all this time.

"You pervert!"

A blow directly hits my face and throws me back, breaking the bathroom walls. A blindingly strong light burns my eyes, I’m lying with my head turned upwards, staring at the familiar ceiling of my room.

The side of my cheek is burning like hell, but why am I sprawled on the floor with my legs in the air? I try to lift my torso a bit, only to come face to face with Leliana standing there, holding a steaming fan.

"How dare you touch my breasts, you scoundrel?!"

Oh, goddammit! A kick straight to the balls?! Ouch, that hurts...

I roll on the floor with that eternal feeling of agony and the pain of having my jewels permanently damaged. Why the hell is my stepmother here, in my room, while I’m lying in bed? And even worse, why did I accidentally grope that slut?! Disgusting!

I spit into my hands to remove any trace of it, because no way in hell would I touch a finger to that ungrateful bitch! Besides pulling me out of a wonderful dream, she came here to my room to do God knows what in this hellhole!

"And what are you doing here, you damn hag?! Why the fuck did you come into my room?!"

"What? Is this how you treat your family who takes good care of you, you brat?!?"

The fan snapped shut with a dry clack, only for me to realize I shouldn’t be here. First, when did I black out? Where’s Ravenna?

"Where are they? The slaves and Ravenna! Why the I... ow ow ow, damn it!"

I ended up doubling over against my will. There’s an immense pain in my chest and sides. What the hell is going on to hurt me so much? Leliana let out a heavy sigh and scratched her forehead before grabbing me by the shoulders and sitting me back on the bed.

"Rest. Your father was worried sick when that witch kidnapped you. You’ve returned from a very dangerous place and you’re full of internal injuries. I’m providing some treatment, but letting you die after what you just did seems very tempting..."

"Co-Come on, mommy, you wouldn’t do that to your dear son, would you?"

Me? Almost dying? I didn’t even notice I got all messed up in that short fight against the Lord, damn it! Still, it’s not easy to put that worry aside.

Leliana raised her hand above me and cast a warm glow over my chest. Soon the pain lessened, and I felt my breathing return to normal. Lucky for me, she at least seemed to agree with my father about saving me, for whatever reason!

I ended up accidentally bombarding my stepmother with all sorts of questions. First, I slept for two days even while receiving top-notch treatment from my stepmother’s magic and the inquisitors.

Second, the slaves are fine. The church received them, and they’re getting food and shelter for a while. What a relief.

"And Ravenna? What happened to her?"

"Why do you want to know about that insane witch? Don’t tell me... did she somehow manipulate you all this time? It’s been famous among some nobles, the case of falling in love with one’s kidnapper... Darius, you really disgust me."

"No, it’s not that! She helped me free the slaves and also saved my ass several times! I owe her and she owes me some things, that’s why I want to know!"

"Hah. You’re as stubborn as ever... fine. Ravenna is currently locked in the dungeon below us and won’t see the light of day anytime soon. Does that satisfy you?"

"A little, I guess?"

"Disgusting..."

Leliana hid her face with her fan. Go screw yourself too, you bitch.

The door creaked open. Who wants to come in at this hour? It was bad enough my stepmother woke me up in the most violent way possible, who’s the second cockblock now?

I turned my face. Oh no. No, no, no! Why you?!? Why did it have to be you, you miserable bastard?! It could even be an inquisitor ready to rip off my neck, I wouldn’t have the slightest problem!

"Darius?"

The voice made my brain itch. That good-guy intonation, loaded with sincere concern and a compassion that made me want to vomit blood.

Go fuck yourself, Leonhardt.

The blonde head passes through the doorway with such a big smile that I got cancer. Of course, he was clean, perfumed, with his clothes aligned, chest puffed out, and an almost divine look of supplication in his eyes.

What’s wrong with you? Are you looking for dick and don’t know how to ask?

"Are you okay?!" He ran to my side, kneeling at the foot of the bed and doing that begging Golden Retriever thing. "Oh, you’re awake, thank goodness! I was so worried when they kidnapped you, you have no idea how much I cried at night."

Shut up, Leonhardt.

"Yeah, yeah. I got beaten up by a mutant lord, almost got enslaved, saved a bunch of people, and on top of that, I woke up with my stepmother hitting me because I dreamed about squeezing Elizia’s breasts" I spat the words out haphazardly, hoping he’d turn around and go save a village of orphans with a fire under their ass. "And you, how many babies you saved today?"

Leonhardt finally settled his ass down and frowned, trying to understand the meaning behind my words. Of course, the idiot would never understand someone with a basic sense of humor, because he himself is a well of superficiality that I hate with all my being.

"Well, any babies at all, but I’m extremely happy that you’re okay! I did everything to find you and help Duke Moonlight. The King and Queen were also startled by the case at the trial. You can’t imagine how worried everyone was, especially Madame Leliana!"

"Oh, yeah. Worried as fuck. Woke me up with a kick to the balls."

"You deserved it", my dear stepmother cut in, fanning herself and rolling her eyes.

Leliana took an armchair near the bed and maintained her usual sharp gaze, but now she held an impassive composure, as if she hadn’t just beaten me five minutes ago. Fucking fake.

Naturally, Leonhardt took my stepmother’s hands and emitted that radiant, childlike gaze. Who let this guy enter into the palace?

"Madame Leliana, thank you for allowing me to accompany him and thank you for offering help! I didn’t know you were such a good mage with healing spells!"

"It was nothing, dear. It’s always an honor to be at my husband, the Duke’s, side."

Ah, I just wanted to slap both of them, but this hellish pain won’t stop! I ended up lying the rest of my torso down and clenching the sheets. I couldn’t take much more of this anyway.

"And you? Why the hell are you here if you’re an inquisitor full of duties? Did you come out of pity or do you have another reason?"

Leonhardt looked at me with the patience of saints. That look of his is what gets on my nerves the most, it’s so full of a sense of justice that I’m forced to turn my face away.

"My apologies, but I came to protect you. During one of my visits, someone tried to assassinate you, and I decided to spend as much time as possible in your room to ensure no one entered without permission!"

"Oh, fuck me..."

Of course that would happen! It must be the Libertarians trying to slit my throat before I warn anyone! A screwed-up guy can’t even have a day of peace, how wonderful!

"Leonhardt, my dear, perhaps it’s best to let him rest a bit", Leliana said, at the best possible time. "He’s still groggy from the medicine and needs to recover."

"No, no, I’m perfectly fine! What I need now is to get out of this bed and sort some things out and... Ow, shit!"

Why does it hurt even to talk? This isn’t going to work!

"Where’s my uncle? The king, Leliana. Answer quickly."

"Why do you want to know? You don’t need to worry about trivialities, Darius, just rest and..."

"Holy shit, are you deaf, you bitch? This is my business, there’s literally a group of revolutionaries under our feet trying to kill the king!"

Iron in my tongue? I pushed too hard, now a cough is rising in my throat and trying to expel blood from my heart. I stained the sheet with saliva and red drops.

"Lis... Listen to me! Ravenna and everyone in the palace is in danger, we need to...!"

Damn! I can’t speak properly. Leliana came close to me, showing a face full of concern. You, of all people? You’re the last person I’d want to receive such a look from, but I’m grateful for the healing magic that soothes this damn pain.

I grabbed Leonhardt’s shirt sleeve, fixing my eyes on him with such great determination that he even felt like taking a step back.

"Protect... Ravenna... The king, the duke... Protect everyone, you shitty hero! These revolutionaries are coming!"