I Only Care About Making Money And Not Love. I'm The Best Professional Simp!
Ch. 26 - Are You a Lesbian?

"Was I hit by a truck and reincarnated into some kind of romance anime?"

Looking at Wei Qingyu and Xia Yeshuang in front of him, Lu Xing couldn't help but fall into deep thought.

Before, his high school life was quite simple.

Eating, studying, Wei Qingyu.

But ever since the transaction with Old Man Wei ended, the style of his school life had suddenly gone wrong!

Back when he was following Wei Qingyu around as a simp...

He never saw Xia Yeshuang talk to him!

The only few words she said were just to mock him for dressing like a country bumpkin.

"I want to talk to Lu Xing!"

Xia Yeshuang shot Wei Qingyu a provocative look, proudly lifting her chin like a noble swan.

Wei Qingyu looked at Xia Yeshuang with a blank expression and said calmly.

"Go get in line."

Xia Yeshuang: ???

Heh.

Get in line?

"Line up my ass!"

The experience of history tells us that shameless people always live better.

Without any warning, Xia Yeshuang directly grabbed Lu Xing's shoulder and pulled him outside, even shooting Wei Qingyu a triumphant glare as she passed.

"I feel like I've gotten an experience card for that fellow whose arm you snapped."

Lu Xing pinched his shoulder with a look of utter despair. He had no idea where this little Goldie got so much strength!

Xia Yeshuang snorted and pulled Lu Xing into the corridor.

Sunlight fell on her hair, as if every single strand of gold was shining brightly.

Lu Xing found himself staring, mesmerized.

Seeing this, Xia Yeshuang proudly lifted her chin, a gorgeous expression appearing on her stunning face.

"Is it pretty?"

Lu Xing stared at her hair and nodded single-mindedly, looking a bit dazed.

"It's pretty."

So pretty!!!

His first favorite color was red, because that represented banknotes.

His second favorite was gold, because that represented gold!

So beautiful!

This sparkling gold directly struck a chord in Lu Xing's heart.

Xia Yeshuang became even more smug.

She knew it!

Her face was definitely a killer move against a bumpkin like Lu Xing!

It was just that she had never given Lu Xing a good look before, which was why he went to simp for Wei Qingyu.

Now that she was being nice to him, wasn't Lu Xing falling in love with her like a lapdog?

Hmph.

Low-class!

The thought of Wei Qingyu actually being nice to this kind of person made Xia Yeshuang want to laugh.

"I have a question for you."

Lu Xing stared at her golden hair and nodded happily. "Please, go ahead."

He had an idea!

Although he didn't have any gold, he could buy a golden wig.

So shiny and golden, just looking at it made him happy!

"Yesterday afternoon, after school, where did you go?" Xia Yeshuang asked the question she cared about the most.

Lu Xing looked at her with confusion.

"Do you want to be my friend?"

Otherwise, why would she vouch for him today and also ask about his past movements?

Xia Yeshuang: ...

"Who wants to be friends with you!"

Lu Xing fell silent.

This silence instantly enraged Xia Yeshuang, her little face puffed up with anger.

"I wanted to talk to you about something yesterday."

"I saw you go into the restroom and not come out. I thought you had fainted in there, so I called the logistics office."

She was even thinking of a 'beauty saves the hero' scenario!

"The teacher from the logistics office was busy in the restroom for ten minutes and didn't see a single hair of yours!"

Later, Xia Yeshuang was fiercely criticized by the logistics teacher for making a false report. 

It made her so angry she couldn't sleep last night!

Ah...

Lu Xing felt that this tsundere little Goldie was a bit too crazy. 

(TL: little Goldie is a nickname/name for golden retrievers in China)

What does she want?

Lu Xing thought for a moment. "I went straight home after school yesterday. Did you need me for something?"

Huh?

Went home?

Xia Yeshuang looked at the school uniform on Lu Xing. Maybe he had blended into the crowd after class and she had mistaken someone else for him?

It didn't seem impossible...

Lu Xing looked at the time. "Is that all you wanted to talk to me about? If there's nothing else, I'm leaving."

He couldn't be bothered to guess Xia Yeshuang's motives.

As a professional simp, guessing a client's thoughts was for making money. Guessing this person's thoughts wouldn't earn him anything.

"Don't you go!"

Xia Yeshuang grabbed Lu Xing's sleeve and blurted out.

"I want you to never get close to Wei Qingyu again!"

Huh?

Lu Xing turned his head, looked at Xia Yeshuang clutching the corner of his shirt, and then at her angry expression.

After thinking for a moment, he suddenly asked.

"Are you a lesbian?"

Xia Yeshuang was dumbfounded. After reacting, her head buzzed with anger.

"You're a lesbian!"

Lu Xing leaned against the corridor railing, sizing up Xia Yeshuang, and pushed up his non-existent glasses.

"The scheming frog keeps touching your belly! There is only one truth!" 

(TL: A meme phrase, often used before a ridiculous 'deduction'.)

"You must be a lesbian. You have a secret crush on Wei Qingyu but don't dare to say it, so you can only warn others to stay away from her!"

Having a secret crush on someone of the same sex really isn't easy.

Lu Xing patted Xia Yeshuang's shoulder with some pity.

"Good luck."

Xia Yeshuang's face first turned red with anger, then ashen. In the end, she was already considering the possibility of punching Lu Xing twice.

She clarified angrily.

"I don't like Wei Qingyu!"

"Then why did you come looking for me?"

"I want to use you to piss off Wei Qingyu!"

As soon as the words fell, the atmosphere instantly froze.

Xia Yeshuang's mind went blank.

It's over.

It just slipped out.

Having gotten the truth out of her, Lu Xing smiled knowingly.

"I'm Wei Qingyu's simp, so you want me to simp for you, to make Wei Qingyu angry?"

Simp... for you.

These two words made Xia Yeshuang's heart thump violently. Her small, fair face was both gorgeous and cute.

"Can you use a different word!"

Lu Xing spread his hands. 

"Alright, but I've already decided not to simp for Wei Qingyu anymore, so it's useless for you to find me. The people who like Wei Qingyu are as numerous as crucian carp crossing a river. You might as well find someone with more presence, like Hu Zhongzhong?"

Xia Yeshuang's pretty eyes glared at Lu Xing as she said with a look of disgust.

"I would never look for that idiot!"

Pfft.

Lu Xing laughed.

He felt that Xia Yeshuang's way of speaking was really refreshing, so direct.

"I really can't help you with this. I'm leaving first. Thanks for vouching for me. I'll treat you to a meal when I have time later."

For an adult, "when I have time later" means "never in this lifetime".

"Stop!"

Xia Yeshuang forcefully grabbed the corner of Lu Xing's shirt. She said through gritted teeth.

"Don't you want Wei Qingyu to like you? I have a plan."

"TD unsubscribe." 

(TL: A common text message command in China to unsubscribe from services, used here as a blunt rejection.)

Lu Xing waved his hand. "I'm off."

He couldn't wait for Wei Qingyu to have no feelings for him. Otherwise, Old Man Wei would skin him alive.

Mm.

Life is more important.

Without hesitation, Lu Xing lifted his leg to leave.

Never! Never! Never had anyone made Xia Yeshuang lose face like this. Her full shirt heaved violently with anger.

Bastard! Damn bastard!

Watching Lu Xing's departing back, Xia Yeshuang shouted angrily.

"Don't you think I'm pretty!"

"How much is 'pretty' worth?"

"I'll give you money!"

"..."

Xia Yeshuang didn't even see it happen; one moment he was over there, and the next he had teleported right next to her!

The bastard's originally lazy expression instantly became attentive. He squeezed next to her and rubbed his hands together.

"Tell me more!"

Xia Yeshuang: ???

Lu Xing looked at the forty-thousand-yuan luxury dress on Xia Yeshuang, and the two-hundred-thousand-yuan watch on her wrist, and introduced with a brilliant smile.

"Are you thinking of your first love from a foreign country at night? Do you have a white moonlight that you love but cannot have?"

"Our professional simp business is quite extensive, such as simp services, stand-in services, etc. As long as your money is in place, I will crush any emo feelings you have! You will get a loyal and dedicated simp who looks up to you at all times, resolves your unhappy emotions, and lets your life reach its peak from now on!"

"Of course, other people don't have so many services. Who made me so comprehensive?"

Xia Yeshuang was completely stunned.

Her mind went blank.

What is this bastard Lu Xing talking about?

Most importantly...

Why does she feel a strange flicker of interest?!

...

...