Glass Hearts [BL]
Chapter 77: The Ones We Don’t Choose

Chapter 77: The Ones We Don’t Choose

"Marcus....wait!"

He quickly removed his skates and kept walking. I removed mine too so I’d be able to catch up with him.

But he didn’t stop.

He just kept walking, pulling his hoodie over his head like he was trying to hide from everyone.....except there was nothing to hide from but himself.

He didn’t hear me at first, or maybe he just didn’t want to answer.

I jogged to catch up, reaching out to grab his arm.

He stopped, but he didn’t look at me.

He blinked too fast... like he was holding back tears. The way people do when something cracks open inside but they’re still trying to keep the pieces from spilling out.

He didn’t say a word. Just pushed open the rink door and stepped outside into the cold, forcing his sneakers on, like he couldn’t stand to be in this place a second longer.

"Marcus, I’m talking to you..."

He didn’t say a word.

So, I sat next to him on the bench. It was cold. Or maybe I was.

He didn’t say anything.

Finally, I said quietly, "If you don’t tell June how you feel...it’s going to be too late. It’s obvious you really like her."

His lips parted like he wanted to argue. But then... he didn’t.

Instead, he looked at me, and let out this soft laugh, except it wasn’t really a laugh. It sounded sad.

"She doesn’t see me like that," he said quietly.

"You don’t know that."

He stared ahead for a moment, then turned to me slowly.

"What if it ruins everything?" he whispered.

"What if not telling her ruins you?" I said.

He was quiet. Then he let out a long breath, rubbed his hands together, staring at the door.

"She doesn’t know," he said. "She doesn’t know how much I... think about her. All the time. Every time she laughs at something stupid. Every time she hugs me, teases me. Every time she wears that ugly oversized sweater and pretends like she doesn’t care what people think."

He laughed bitterly.

I exhaled slowly. "So tell her!"

"I can’t, okay?" His voice cracked. "If I tell her, and she doesn’t feel the same, I lose her. I’d rather be her friend forever than confess and ruin it all."

I looked at him.

"Even if it kills you a little every time she smiles at someone else?"

"I don’t want to be one of those guys who confesses just to make things weird," he said. "I don’t want her to feel sorry for me. I just want... I don’t know."

He went quiet.

He looked down, then back up. His jaw clenched.

"You do know it’s not just the fact that she’s with someone else that hurts," he said.

"Then what does?"

He hesitated.

"I see the way she looks at Ren. I just don’t get it," he added. "He doesn’t even care. He barely even looks up when she talks to him. Today, at the rink....she walked over to say hi and he barely looked up from his phone. I don’t know if he’s just clueless or he genuinely doesn’t feel anything for her. But either way... it pisses me off."

"Let’s not lie, Ren’s a bit awkward," I saud, just to make him laugh.

Marcus looked at me. "Or maybe he’s nonchalant. He just doesn’t give a shit."

"She was happy to see him, you know? And he just nodded at her. That’s who she wants? For real that guy?"

He shook his head.

I didn’t speak.

I didn’t even know what to say.

He stood up.

"I’d notice her. Every day. Every minute. She deserves someone who’d look up from their damn phone. Someone who actually sees her," he said.

"She has that," I said, nudging his shoulder. "You see her."

He shook his head. "Yeah, but I’m not who she wants."

His voice cracked on that last word. He sat back, blinking up like he was trying to keep it together.

"I’ve liked her since you guys came to Blackwell. Since the first day. When she made fun of my handwriting and offered me half her sandwich. I know that sounds stupid..."

"It doesn’t," I said.

He looked at me again, and for once and smiled.

"I think what kills me most," he said, "is that... even if I told her how I felt, I don’t think I’d ever be enough."

My throat tightened.

"Marcus..."

He gave a short laugh with no humor in it.

More like the kind you let out when everything inside hurts.

"If I were June, I wouldn’t choose me either."

I blinked. "What?! Don’t say that."

"Can’t you see?" He laughed bitterly. "I’m not even an option. I can’t compare to Ren. Or any of the other guys at school. No matter what I do, I’ll always be the janitor’s kid."

"That’s not true."

I hated how certain he sounded.

"I’m not her type," he said. "I’m just the guy who fixes stuff. Who carries her bag when it’s too heavy. Who listens to all her problems. I’m not the guy who gets picked. Look at me, I don’t even own a proper winter coat. I’m not the guy you fall for....I’m the guy you vent to."

"You’re more than that," I said, and I meant it.

That hit harder than I expected. I sat there, watching him pretend he wasn’t breaking, and all I wanted to do was fix it.

But how do you fix someone who doesn’t think they’re worth saving?

He stood abruptly. "I’m gonna head home."

I started to say something...anything, but he was already flagging down a cab.

Before getting in, he looked at me one last time. "Ash, I’m not angry at her. I’m angry at myself for hoping I’d ever be enough."

"I’m just a side character in a story....the guy no one ever picks."

"Stop saying that Marcus!"

"Thanks for listening, Ash."

His hands lingered on the cab door for a moment. Then, he got in and shut the door. The cab pulled off, and just like that....he was gone.

I stood there, folded my arms, trying to swallow the guilt in my chest.

I wasn’t sure whose heartbreak I was carrying more...his or mine.

Then I felt hands cover my eyes from behind.

I flinched. "June?"

A familiar voice whispered against my ear.

"Nope. Guess again."

I turned quickly...too quickly, just in time for him to catch me as I nearly slipped.

"Careful, pretty boy," he whispered, pulling me upright.

My heart did something dumb.

His touch was warm. The way his hand still rested lightly against my lower back....like he didn’t even realize he was still touching me.

"Dominic," I said pulling back just enough to breathe.

He raised a brow. "What’s with the tone? Not happy to see me?"

I didn’t answer right away. I was still stuck between Marcus’s words and Dominic’s stare.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. Then shook my head.

He tilted his head. "That’s a mixed signal."

"My friend... he’s going through something," I said. "It’s not my place to say, but it’s a lot."

Dominic studied my face, as his smile faded.

"You good?" he asked again, more seriously this time, as he raised an eyebrow. "Must be bad if even you look like you’re about to cry. What happened?"

I looked at him.

At the way he actually looked at me with that expression that kept screaming, ’I’m concerned, I need to know what’s going on.’

And for a second, I let myself relax.

"Not really," I said honestly.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked.

I didn’t know.

But I nodded anyway.

How do you explain heartbreak when it doesn’t belong to you, but you feel it anyway?

My chest still felt too heavy with everything Marcus had said. So I walked over to the low cement ledge near the entrance and sat down. Quiet spot. No one around.

Dominic followed, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets, like he was waiting for me to still say something.

The sky was turning that weird shade between blue and grey, like it couldn’t decide if it wanted to rain or not.

I stared ahead, chewing at the inside of my cheek for a second. Then I just... asked.

"Have you ever had a crush on someone close to you? Like... a best friend?"

He looked at me, but I avoided eye contact.

I kept going, quietly, "And you were scared that if you told them... it’d ruin everything?"

A soft breeze passed. The kind that makes you aware of how still everything else is.

He didn’t answer right away. Just rubbed the back of his neck, then let out a laugh. "Damn. That’s not a casual question. It’s a big one."

"I don’t know if I should say," he grinned, trying to play it off.

"Sorry for asking," I mumbled, staring at my shoes.

"No, no. I mean... it’s real. Just caught me off guard." He shifted beside me. "You trying to get me to spill a secret?"

I smiled a little and gave him the fakest sad puppy face I could manage. "Pleaseee," I said. "But it’s okay if you don’t want to. I get it.

He groaned. "God. That face should be illegal."

"You really don’t have to if you don’t want to," I said quickly. "I was just..."

"No, it’s fine." He rubbed the back of his neck again. "I’ll tell you. Just don’t judge me, okay?"

Classic reverse psychology trick, works all the time.

I nodded, already bracing myself for something random or chaotic.

He looked down at his hands, a faint smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"So... I once had a crush on Liam."

I blinked. "Wait....what?"

Then turned my head to look at him properly. "Same Liam?!"

He laughed, kind of embarrassed but was also cute. "Yeah. Don’t judge me."

"I’m not judging, I’m just... shocked."