Glass Hearts [BL]
Chapter 47: How Do You Keep Breathing?

Chapter 47: How Do You Keep Breathing?

I tried to answer, but the words felt stuck in my throat. I only managed a nod, my mouth was heavy and useless.

Dominic studied me for another second. His eyes flicked over my face like he was searching for clues I refused to give.

Finally, he said. "I, uh... went to check on Liam just now."

I blinked at him. "Liam?"

"Yeah," Dominic said, raking a hand through his hair. "They’re keeping him sedated. Still in a coma. No change yet."

"Oh," I murmured, guilt twisting in my gut for forgetting, even for a second, about Liam lying unconscious somewhere in this same hospital.

Dominic looked at me again. "Ash... seriously. Are you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out."

"I said it’s nothing," I mumbled, staring at the floor tiles.

Dominic opened his mouth like he was about to push further...but before he didn’t.

Then his phone buzzed in his pocket.

He pulled it out, glanced at the screen, and gasped. "Fuck. I... I gotta go. Something just came up."

I nodded quickly, looking away. "It’s fine. Go."

"It’s Ren," Dominic said, tucking his phone away. "He flew back from his trip last night and... there’s some shit I have to help him deal with."

I nodded. My chest felt too tight.

"Hey... listen. Tomorrow, okay? I’ll come pick you up after school. Or... or you can come over. Whatever you want."

I nodded again, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Dominic hesitated, his hand halfway to my shoulder like he wanted to stay.

He hugged me and smiled, then turned and disappeared down the hall.

How do you keep breathing when your whole world is falling apart?

As Dominic finally turned and walked away, I felt something collapse in my chest.

Like the moment he was gone, every wall I’d built to keep from falling apart just... vanished.

I was fighting my battles alone.

And I was so, so tired.

I didn’t want to sit in that hospital another second, surrounded by steady beeping of machines reminding me exactly how much time was running out.

I just wanted to leave. I needed to escape my thoughts before I did something I’d regret...like smashing a wall or collapsing right there in the hallway.

So I slipped out the automatic doors and started walking.

I didn’t even know where I was going.

I only knew I couldn’t breathe if I stayed there another minute.

My steps carried me out of the building, down the cracked sidewalk, past parked cars, and cafés.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I should call Dominic. Or June. Or literally anyone. But my brain was too loud, too full of numbers I’d never be able to pay and questions I didn’t have answers to.

Millions.

She had days.

I had nothing.

I shoved my hands deep in my pockets, my mind kept racing.

My feet just kept going.

Maybe if I kept moving, I wouldn’t have to think.

I should probably find something to sell. Maybe Dad’s old stuff. My sneakers, my painting kit I won in a competition last year.

I also had one more day before the school hearing to save my scholarship...and I’d prepared absolutely nothing.

My stomach twisted as I pictured Principal Han’s disappointed face, the stack of reports about my "behavior," the threat of losing the only chance I had to keep us afloat.

Perfect. My mom was dying, I was broke, and I was about to get kicked out of school.

I didn’t even notice I’d reached the crosswalk until I stepped into the street without looking.

A horn blared. Screeching tires.

My head snapped up just in time to see a silver car stop right in front of me.

It was so close to my knee.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" An angry ma screamed through the open window. "Are you fucking suicidal, trying to get yourself killed?

Fucking Idiot, look where you’re going!"

I just stood there, frozen. I didn’t want to die. I just... hadn’t been looking.

He kept yelling, the words kept slamming into me.

"Fucking idiot! You almost made me wreck my car, you little shit!"

I backed away, stumbling onto the sidewalk, and watched how the driver sped off.

People on the sidewalk were staring. Someone muttered under their breath.

I bowed my head in silent apology, then turned away, my chest kept heaving.

I kept walking until I found a quiet side street, littered with fallen leaves and puddles reflecting the gray sky. my knees gave out and I sank down next to a lamppost. My hands were shaking so badly I couldn’t wipe my face fast enough to hide it.

And right there, in the middle of a city that kept moving without me, I let it happen.

That was when it hit me.

Everything.

All at once.

The cost. The hearing in school. The way my mom looked when she was asleep and I didn’t know if she’d ever wake up again.

I pressed my forehead to my knees and started to cry.

Not because the asshole yelled curses at me.

Not because I’d almost gotten hit by a car.

But because I didn’t know how to save my family.

Because I was so fucking tired of pretending to be okay.

The tears kept coming.

My breath hitched. I tried to swallow it all down, but it just kept overflowing.

I sank down until I was crouched on the sidewalk, my arms wrapped tight around my knees.

I was starting to understand that no matter how hard I tried to hold everything together...

I was losing.

And only a miracle could save my mom.

But right then, miracles felt impossibly far away.

I stayed there, curled up by the lamppost, knees pulled to my chest, tears soaking into the sleeves of my hoodie. I didn’t care who saw. The world could stare...I was done pretending I was fine.

The cries kept coming, faster, heavier. My chest didn’t stop aching.

Until suddenly...

I heard something.

Voices.

Soft at first. Gentle.

Not angry. Not sharp like the man who’d just yelled curses at me.

But warm. Harmonious.

A choir.

Singing.

My breath hitched, my sobs started breaking apart as the sound rose... It was beautiful..full of something I couldn’t name.

It wasn’t just a melody.

It was hope.

It was grace.

And that only made me cry harder. Not because I felt worse...

But because it felt beautiful.

Like the universe was trying to remind me that even in the middle of the worst moment of my life, something gentle could still exist.

Slowly, I turned to see where it was coming from. My vision was still blurry from the tears.

And that’s when I saw it.

Right across the street, rising against the soft blue dusk...

A church.

Large, old, familiar.

I knew it.

Mrs. Diggs’ church.

The same one she’d invited me to at least five times. The same one I’d always made excuses to avoid.

But tonight...

It looked different.

The doors stood wide open. And from inside, that heavenly sound kept drifting out...voices rising in worship, voices full of something I couldn’t explain but felt in my bones.

I could feel the goosebumps. My chest loosened for the first time all day.

I sat there for a moment, looking weary.

Should I stay here and keep crying?

Or... just go inside?

Just to sit. Just to breathe.

My chest still ached. My mind was a mess. But for the first time... there was something pulling me.

Like a push toward the light.

I took one shaky breath and stood up.

And for once...

I didn’t walk away.