Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Healer's Story
Chapter 293: In The Moment

Chapter 293: In The Moment

I paced back and forth in front of the windows in Bai An Sha’s condo. We arrived this morning after a not-so-restful sleep at the guild.

Dodging the hands that kept trying to pin me down and make me stop, I continued putting one foot in front of the other, staring at the floor under me. The ants in my arms decided that they weren’t doing a good enough job of warning me about the impending attack, so they decided to move to my neck, my chest, and my legs.

Nothing was stopping them, and every time I tried to take a deep breath and calm down, they just doubled down on the pain.

"Sweetness, Little Fox, we’ve got this. We are prepared with a master plan and then another three plan Bs. We know what we need to do and when we need to do it. Everything will be fine," murmured Ye Yao Zu.

I was sure that he meant to be reassuring; his posture screamed, ’Don’t piss off the crazy chick,’ but if he thought that saying ’Calm down, you are overreacting’ in just a different way would work, he needed to go back to school.

I was starting to feel lightheaded and dizzy going back and forth in the confined space, but that didn’t stop my nervous energy. I was like 20 some odd stories up in the air, surrounded by dead wood, glass, and metal.

My powers screamed at me that I needed to be outside. That even if I was just on the concrete, there would be enough roots and live under me to be able to draw on.

I felt like prey. Like someone had me in their sights and was just waiting for the perfect shot.

I couldn’t do this. I wanted to. But I couldn’t.

Feeling my breathing increasing at the same time that my lung capacity decreased, I was minutes away from passing out, and I welcomed it. I wanted to sink into oblivion and hide until the ants went away and everything was over.

"Mommy?" asked Wang Chang Ming, sliding to a stop right in front of me. I was forced to come to a standstill or risk bowling him over, and I wasn’t taking that chance, not after promising myself that I would become better for him.

Shit, he had already seen me like this. What could he possibly be thinking? I bet he wished that he could have taken Cheng Bo Jing’s last name. He wouldn’t have to worry about not having a mother if he claimed that man as his father. With his looks, women would be killing each other to stand next to him.

And what did I have to offer? Nothing but a mess of anxiety, panic attacks, possible depression, and the ability to kill everything on earth. Yeah, I was definitely winning that reward for the most desirable.

I felt a small hand take mine and lead me away from the living room and the bright lights of the windows.

Following the kid down the hall, I was brought into my closet.

"It’s okay to be scared," said Wang Chang Ming as he pulled me down and started wrapping blankets all around me. "I’m scared all the time, but Daddy says that is normal, and only dumb people aren’t scared."

"Daddy?" I asked, cocking my head to the side as yet another fuzzy blanket appeared over my head. When he was satisfied that he had accomplished what he wanted to, Wang Chang Ming sat down in my lap and wrapped the last blanket around the both of us.

"Yeah, I asked, and he said that it was okay. He said that he thought it was good since I called you mommy, and he wanted to be daddy. But he also said that the other daddies might be jealous that only he got a special name. So now I am trying to come up with more names for the daddies."

Wang Chang Ming was so serious as he spoke, his little face scrunched up in concentration as he began listing off all the names he had come up with.

"Daddy Rip is going to be Daddy Rip," continued the boy as he held up one finger. "I really like him. I mean, he looks scary, but I know that he won’t let anyone hurt us. So, next to Daddy, he is my next favorite. Then there is Silly Daddy."

"Silly Daddy?" I asked, not realizing that my breathing had returned to normal or that the fact that the ants had all but disappeared. They were still there, just under my skin. But it almost felt like they didn’t want to interrupt the conversation with this little treasure.

Wang Chang Ming nodded his head and shifted his body so that he could look at me. "But Silly Daddy is only silly part of the time, then he is Scary Daddy. And Scary Daddy is right up there with Daddy Rip when it comes to protection. How about this. When you are scared, you can have Daddy Rip, and I can have Scary Daddy, and everything will be fine."

"Deal," I smiled, wrapping my arms tighter around him.

Was the world coming to an end outside?

Yup.

Was it happening right this minute?

Nope.

So, I was going to enjoy my time with my new found son and worry about what was to come next when it came. If I spent too much time thinking about the future, I would be missing out on the here and now...

And I didn’t want that.

"Okay, so we have Daddy, Daddy Rip, Silly Daddy, who else is there?" I asked, a smile on my face. I could feel my men around us as they found comfortable places to be inside the bedroom. The closet door was opened, so they could see us, but I wasn’t taking my attention away from Wang Chang Ming for a second.

The little boy hummed as he placed a small finger against his chin. "Doc Daddy is hard. I don’t know if I like the name Doc Daddy, but I don’t really know what else to call him. Cut You Up If You Don’t Be Quiet Daddy is just too long of a name."

This time, it wasn’t just me that burst out laughing.

"I’ll take Papa," answered Bin An Sha, clearing his throat. I looked up at the man to see his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "I always wanted to call someone papa, but I think that being called it would be even better."