DESTINED MATE : SWEET ALPHA PHEROMONE
Chapter 76 - GRUVV’s POV

Chapter 76: Chapter 76 - GRUVV’s POV

The night passed very slowly, my head filled with many things. Father was still keeping Seth company in Shiloh’s room and Maeve was sleeping in the guest room, she couldn’t sleep with Seth because of her pheromones. I was still out on the porch, smoking who knows how many cigarettes.

Even though since Shiloh’s pregnancy I’ve been trying to stop.

Everyone is involved in this now, I feel so guilty for keeping everyone busy, but I know that I can’t do it alone. Gil’s request for Louis Baxter to stop the investigation is impossible.

"You’d better get some rest." Dad’s voice sounded from behind my back, I still didn’t move in front, my eyes gazing far away at the bright city lights from the top of this mountain.

"My head is too noisy to sleep." I said.

I could hear the sound of my dad’s footsteps approaching, he was standing next to me. The sounds of rummaging through pockets, pulling out cigarettes and the clinking of lighters are all clearly audible. There was no wind tonight, no rain or snow. The air is still very cold, we both wear thick coats with scarves.

The atmosphere in the mountains is very quiet in the middle of the night.

"You gave me two grandchildren at once." He said then, making me stop my hands in the air and then chuckle.

That’s right, I gave him two grandchildren at once.

"Isn’t that what you want dad? I’m giving you a three-year-old and the future one, you can choose which one to give the most affection to." I said then, smoking the cigarette in my fingers again.

Dad chuckled in his deep, heavy voice, and we were silent as we enjoyed the warmth of the cigarette that went down our throats. Things like this had never happened since I experienced things that he didn’t like. Declining mental health due to trauma and many other things is something he don’t understand.

Dad is a strict person, he has his own rules that cannot be broken. Both Father and dad have principles in educating their children.

"I didn’t mean to plunge you into a world like this..." He said, I swallowed my own saliva. Honestly, I don’t know if we’re in a state where we can express our feelings to each other right now. "I know you’re so competent. Ever since I made you the one who has responsibility for the underground, you’ve done very well. But, this is what has started in our family and we can’t help but carry on."

I clenched my fist.

"Dad..." I paused my sentence, staring down at our shoes, one taste, on the ground. "I never thought about getting married." I said.

Dad turned to me, his forehead furrowed.

"After I experienced losing my ability to smell the pheromones, I lost my zest for life as well. I couldn’t function as an Alpha Dominant and it hurt my pride. I had given up on being ’normal’ until I met Shiloh."

Dad was silent listening to me, he let the ashes of his cigarette fall to the ground without taking another drag. Meanwhile, I’m still staring at our shoes that have the same color with the same brand. These shoes are the shoes Father gave me two years ago on my birthday, it seems he also bought the same ones for Dad.

"Seeing how Shiloh struggled to get back on his feet after what happened to him all these years makes me want to fight too, dad, this is the first time I’ve fallen in love without pheromones." I said, now raising my head and our eyes met. The same eyes as mine.

That’s right, people say I look more like my dad than Father. Just like Cross has a face similar to mine, while Joshua looks more like Father. I could see dad’s eyes widening, I never told dad how I felt all the time. He just kept criticizing how I was dealing with the trauma and my mental health. He keep saying that I’m weak.

All this time, he hated me because I had been easily defeated by mental illness. I, on the other hand, never explained to him what it was like, what I felt. We never talked like father and son.

I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want to feel distant from my future children or Seth, I want my future children to be as comfortable with me as I am with Father. I wanted either my not yet born child or Seth to be able to come to me and talk about their day, what’s worrying them, or what they were thinking about. I want to fulfill the wishes of both Seth and his younger sibling, I will not make them follow my bad path in life.

"Dad, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be a father like you, I mean, you’re a good one but your ego is too big that you hurt us, your children."

I can see dad’s Adam’s apple going up and down, oh, his eyes are glazed over. Have I shocked him with my words? But the reality is like that. When I asked Cross about his feelings about Leona, he always said he felt guilty because Leona would have to bear a heavy burden when she grew up. As the only grandchildren of two giant companies, Leona’s responsibilities are already so big. Cross said he didn’t want to be like our dad to Leona, but the company that had been built over the years had to have a successor.

"Dad, thank you for helping me to find Shiloh, dad, I want him back. I don’t know if I would have survived if I didn’t have him by my side."

I have forgotten all my pride as a Gruvv Dhurudatta who hates his own father now, I no longer want to put my ego first just so I can feel victorious in front of my father. I need his help and his power to find and get Shiloh back, if he asks me to kneel, apologize and follow his wishes, I will do it.

Dad threw away his cigarette, he walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I couldn’t see his face because he was turned the other way, but perhaps, dad’s heart that was hard as a rock was also capable of breaking into pieces and was softer than usual. I hope so.

We didn’t say anything else for almost an hour, dad then went inside, leaving me alone outside. I walked down all the streets I used to walk with Shiloh, my guilt growing, I missed him. I hope he’s okay now, I made him going and meet Gil, left me here alone.

What would he say if I confessed everything? Would he forgive me and feel like everything is okay with him? He was just happy because now he’s not to be affected by the smell of another Alpha’s pheromones, we were just planning where to go, I had just planned to travel with him out of town, enjoying the beautiful days with our child. He was even looking forward to the day he could meet Seth.

I could feel my eyes wet and my chest aching.

"Shiloh...Shiloh..." I sobbed, sitting on the cold bench. I really missed him now, I was worried that he didn’t get enough pheromone scents. I’m afraid something might happen to him. Unlike what happened when Madam Rose kidnapped him, I now don’t have the confidence to meet him but on the other hand I’m also afraid that he’ll experience something bad.

My head is really noisy and I hate it. I was still sobbing when my cell phone rang, George’s name on it. I picked up the phone after trying not to sound like I was crying. He’s gonna mocked me.

"George?"

"..."

"George?"

"Are you crying?"

".....Quickly tell me what you found." I said with a sigh.

George didn’t answer immediately there was a long pause before I can finally hear his voice, "I found it, the connection between Gil’s money laundering and one of the conglomerates and also government officials in the country where the Sherburne family lives."

My eyes rounded at that, I got up from my seat.

"Are you sure? Would that make the Sherburne family help with the Louis Baxter investigation?"

"Yes, I’m sure. That conglomerate once had a five hundred million dollar project that Paul Sherburne oversaw, but it’s been three years and the project is only forty percent complete, according to the information I got, the people there had sued Paul Sherburne and his wife Bethany Sherburne for that."

"So the Sherburne family is also investigating that?"

George cleared his throat, I could hear the sound of a lighter on the other end of the line and his inhale, he was smoking a cigarette in between our conversation.

"Unfortunately in that country, government employees are prohibited from investigating other government employees. So this will be very useful for Louis Baxter, he can get permission to conduct additional investigations related to Gil."

I paused, "But, what does this have to do with Gil? If indeed the conglomerate is corrupt, it’s only corruption in his own country."

"The land he bought belongs to Mosha Gilmore."