DESTINED MATE : SWEET ALPHA PHEROMONE
Chapter 48

Chapter 48: Chapter 48

WARNING!

This Chapter include a suicide scene in it.

I know those eyes, the eyes that used to look at me lovingly, the eyes that used to make me drunk when I see them, the eyes that gave me warmth and hope. He walked into my room, spreading the pheromone that I knew so well, the scent that I longed for.

"Shiloh..." He called my name, in the same tone he always used when we were together.

"Mateo..." Staring at him in disbelief also a little bit confused, I turned to Dad. I searched for the answer why he’s coming in the room.

"Mateo asked me personally to make you a surrogate mother."

I paused at what Father said, what is that even mean?

"Why?" I tried to calm myself down.

Mateo came closer to me, he sat beside the chair on the bed. I looked at him, he was wearing a suit. He looked different, He’s not the Mateo that I have in my mind.

"I heard of your engagement..." I said, trying not to choke on my own words.

He smiled widely, "Can I have some alone time with Shiloh?" He said to my father and the doctor who then left the room. They gave us time to talk alone.

We were alone in the room now, no one had spoken yet. I’m still thinking about what happened, the doctor said that I could talk to the person who asked me to be a surrogate. Then Mateo came into this room. Is he..?

"Mateo.."

"Shiloh, I asked your father to do this..." He said, interrupting me from speaking further. I blinked to hear him say that.

He looked at me with a look that I couldn’t understand. Mateo reached for my hand, then he hold it. For some reason I felt an uncomfortable, isn’t he the person I love? I even have Hanahaki because I love him too deeply and now he doesn’t love me anymore. The one sided love that makes me suffering because I love him so much.

"My partner, she’s an Omega Recessive."

"What?! Isn’t your partner Giovanni’s family?" I asked, still not understanding where this was going.

He left me because his family didn’t approve of our relationship, then I heard and read about his engagement to Giovanni’s family. One of the elite families that of course I also knew, and it is not uncommon for eliter not to giving birth to a dominant.

"Yes, she was born as an Omega Recessive, in other words her pregnancy rate is so low. We tried to test if we were compatible, but there were many problem. Then, I discussed with our family and I was convinced that choosing you as a surrogate mother for our child was the best thing."

I listened to everything he said, and the more I thought about it, it felt so suffocating. Did I really love this man back then? Is it true that what I felt until I had this Hanahaki was love? This man with a high level of selfishness was talking back and forth in front of me as if what he was doing is the right thing.

"What do you mean?"

"In my opinion, our offspring are the best. I just need to have a child with you to raise like my own child together with my current partner. You were born into an elite family too with good genes."

I felt like punching this bastard in front of me, he said something hurtful with a smile on his face. He used me for his personal business, without my consent and only talking to father. He used me as a tool to produce a child?

"Do you know what you’re talking about? You....you used me without my consent."

He looked at me and smiled slightly, "Come on Shiloh, we once dreamed of having a child together. This IVF program has made it happen, this is our child, but only I will take care of the baby."

I clenched my fist then slapped his cheek, I could see his head turned when my hand hit his cheek, he was silent for a while before finally turning around and choking me.

His big hands gripped my neck tightly, his eyes glared at me with anger in them, his teeth chattered and all the veins in his neck came out.

"Bastard! What are you doing? You are no longer an elite family, doing this to me, I will sue you and you’ll go to jail! Damn it!" He spat in my face, I was staggering around trying to get air when the doctor came pulled Mateo’s hand and pushed him away from me.

I coughed and all the petals came out of my mouth, from the corner of my eye I could see dad shaking his head and holding his forehead.

"Disgusting!" Mateo gave me a hateful look.

He stood there, beside my bed with a face I no longer remember.

"Idiot! I told you to just follow everything, don’t provoke!" Father yelled at me from his place and I still continued to cough on the bed.

"Stop it! If he dies, the child in his womb cannot be saved!"

These three people in front of me, they’re all bastards. All of them used me as if I were a replaceable tool with no feelings, after which Mateo left the room and I listened to my father give a more detailed explanation.

Mateo gave him a sum of money as well as a piece of land for business, and the man asked father to forcibly take me to the hospital and forge a signature on the agreement for being a surrogate mother. Giovanni’s family also approved even though they knew Mateo and I had been in a romantic relationship before. Elnathan’s family thought that if the child came from me, Mateo would love them more because we had loved each other.

"A child with at least have some of your genes will make Mateo better."

And, how about me?

Why do I have to hear all of this bullshit? Why do I have to be in this position? Why are they so cruel to me? What did I do all this time that I got treated like this?

Because of what Mateo did, I had contractions and that night my baby was born. The handsome baby was born with navy hair color, his eyes were similar to mine, he cried loudly in my arms and I held him tightly while crying that night. I didn’t want my son to go through what I went through, I wanted him to be happy. No matter how much I wanted to take him away, he could never come back to me.

That night I showered him with my pheromones, I hoped that one day he would recognize me as the one who carried and gave birth to him, I wanted him to know that I didn’t throw him away, I did this because I had to.

"Please give ’Seth’ for his name, I beg you, that’s all I want and I will never bother him again."

Mateo agreed, my little prince named is Seth Elnathan. Two days later I saw on the news Mateo announcing Seth’s birth, he and his partner acting like they were coming out of the hospital. I watched in tears.

My life, it had been destroyed.

Dad locked me in the room after I back from the hospital, as an omega male I didn’t produce breastmilk but I could feel the pain of the cesarean stitch on my stomach and it was lingering. Whenever I missed Seth, I touched it, I dreamed every day of hugging the boy and putting him to sleep in my bed.

I sang him a lullaby in the dream. I miss him.

Until one day, I thought about ending my life. I was in my room, with no windows, nothing. All I did every day was stare at the white walls and fantasize about how life out there.

My longing for Seth as well as my mother was making me crying all day and my Hanahaki was getting worse every day. Every time my father gave me food on a tray, I lost my appetite. The foods look like dog’s food instead for human food.

His promise for me to continue my education just disappeared as if he never said it. The pain I felt was at its peak. On that day, I don’t know if it was daytime or nighttime, I picked up the sheets on the bed, I rolled them up, making them a tool to end my own life.

I climbed up the closet and hung myself on the ceiling. That familiar loss the breath feeling made me feel calm, my feet not on the ground, the oxygen disappearing more and more.

Seth, I’m sorry, I’m leaving this world. I hope one day we can meet again, I want to be your father in the next life too. I want to be the one who gives you happiness.