Cunning General Si Ning
Chapter 290: Acceptance

Chapter 290: Acceptance

The internal yelling turned to an external one and Si Ning yelled out that someone opened the door immediately and it was Xiao Pei, he ran to check what happened that he even part the bed lining, the moment he saw the Emperor lying there like he was sleeping while Si Ning started choking out his silent cries that the Emperor would never wipe away, Xiao Pei knew right there that the Emperor was gone because he couldn’t detect a trace of life in the air so he knelt to pay his deep respect and condolences with a solemn expression, he stayed there for a while listening to the Empress sobbing before standing to his feet, his head bowed and he turned, heading out to call the Imperial doctor and some of the Imperial family but before then he closed the door behind him and stood there without moving to give the Empress time to say goodbye before he heads out.

"Zhicheng?" Si Ning’s hand was shaking terribly and his tears wouldn’t stop, he placed a hand on Xiu Zhicheng’s still face looking at the eyes that were closed never to look at him again. "Didn’t you say you will not leave me that you can’t afford to leave me yet you left me, you stupid man.." He cried hard but the pain was too much as he placed a hand on Xiu Zhicheng’s chest where the heart was hoping the heart was still beating but it was just still. "Come back! Come back! Come back you lair...!" He started hitting the chest weakly due to frustration.

Si Ning’s voice had cracked as he started choking yet he yelled out louder than ever like he wanted to damage his voice box, the moment he wants to hug the body before it gets cold he felt like an invisible force pulled him off and his vision fell into darkness but Si Ning was still yelling not minding the darkness as it became clear and he found himself in the desert, this time he had his physical body and he could see his feet because he was barefooted as the hot sand was heating his feet like it wanted to roast it yet he couldn’t register the hotness because of his heart that was broken.

"Ahhhhh...." Si Ning cried as he fell to his knees, his body getting weak from crying too much.

The hot sand burnt his knees through his clothing and Si Ning could almost hear the slizzing sound yet he doesnt care as tears falls freely from his face as his mind wander to the time he spent with Xiu Zhicheng, it all started coming back to him, all the beautiful memories they made together then the memory of the past life of Si Ning in Xiu started coming back to him like he was hit with a memory rush, the memory of when Xiu Zhicheng was a Crown Prince, when they met when Si Ning was just an unfriendly withdrawn person whose sole aim was to be a great General of the Si army, he remembered how Xiu Zhicheng’s face light up when he accepted to go out with him, he remembered the pain he felt when Concubine Ling got pregnant and how Xiu Zhicheng knelt and begged him that it was a drunken mistake, how he accepted him back because he loved him, how he finally break into anger when Xiu Zhicheng married Concubine Ran and had Xiu Yuan, how he became stern and left Xiu Zhicheng, reading all his letters never sending a reply or go to the palace despite Xiu Zhicheng pleas that they should meet then he rode to war just to clear his head.

Those memories were memories Si Ning never thought were his but right at that moment those memories were his and he remembered everything, all his life in Xiu.

"What! What! What! What do you want from me!" Si Ning yelled out because the sun was hitting his head like it was concentrated on him purposely punishing him and he was sweating. "What is all this! Who are you! Who is doing this to me! I got to this world! I fell in love and you take him from me! Why is this happening to me?" the sun was scorching hot and hitting him deep in his head like it was frying his brain. "What is this dream? Is this even a dream? Why Xiu Zhicheng Xiu Zhicheng why did you leave me! Ah ah ahan agghghhh...." He cried harder as he started to hit his chest.

The scenery changed to the massive body of water but Si Ning didn’t try to swim as he let himself sink with his eyes open, if he would drown and the pain would go away he would gladly drown and die but then he remembered that he couldn’t leave Xiu and leave Xiu Zhicheng who was lying cold on his bed, he had to return and take care of Xiu Yuan whose mother left and make sure Xiu Junjie didn’t undergo the poison training also he still have Si Nan to look after but instead of him to swim he didn’t, he waited for the scenery to change and he was almost out of breath when the scenery finally changed to the forest of snow falling and Si Ning gasped for breath, he fell on his knees the snow falling on him as he raised his head, right in the middle, a few distances from him was his other-self.

"Why is this happening? why did it happen?! why did he have to die! Ah ah ahhhh.." Si Ning continued crying now silently as he felt the pain was choking him, it was a kind of pain he had never felt before that he sees death as something better than the pain he was going through. "Why why why? Ah aghhhh.... Zhicheng...I am not even sleeping why is this happening... ah ahhhh." He felt numb after a while as snow falls on him, the cold seeping through his cloth, his eyes hazy, his eyelashes frozen, his face cold yet he watched his other self who now had a layered of snow upon him just like him who was still kneeling and they both stayed like that for some time.

The scenery changed and Si Ning was not standing but on his knees in the brownfield and his other self was standing on the green field, he raised his tear-stained eyes as watched his modern day other self who was standing still, facing him and looking at him with an impassive expression.

"Who are you? Are you me? Why are you doing this to me." Si Ning moved his hands erratically as he pulled at his hair in frustration. "Why did he have to die, do I deserve to be alone? Do you have any idea how much I tried? I tried to be a good son, I sort after power, I took care of my family, I am finally rich, I became an Empress and I am finally living my dream life but what did I get in the end, Zhicheng died! Ah Dai died! My mother died! Liu Ting died innocently! Who next do you want to take from me? Si Nan? Do you dare take Si Nan from me? who the hell are you! and why me?!" He demanded now in anger yet in sorrow. "He is the only one that loves me, he is gentle, lovely, amazing but now he is gone!" He stood up wobbling as he staggered taking a step forward. "Why? Why? Why? Why won’t you talk to me? Can’t you talk? Why!" He was already weak with no more tears to shed only sorrow so he took a step forward and now he was looking eye to eye with his other self, merely an inch separating them and his other self opened his arms wide.

There was nothing to lose, if this was death then Si Ning would accept it, and Xiu TianZhao would take care of the Princes and the court, all Si Ning wanted was the pain to stop so without thinking he finally stepped into the green part and his other self hugged him.