Codex Null: Simulation Through Madness
Chapter 10: Shattered Pride

Chapter 10: Shattered Pride

[Three months later. Feeling stifled under Lilith’s presence, where even in this vast, open space, everything felt like a prison... just a very large one. You couldn’t hold on any longer. And you started losing your mind.]

[Time passed. But your daily life didn’t change. Sleeping with Lilith hugging you every night, preparing food for the two of you — since she never cooked — watching her strength grow at an abnormal rate, even to your untrained eyes... and continuing your own physical training.]

[Two more months went by. You began training more aggressively, even damaging your body in the process. But you didn’t care. Each time, you woke up the next day fully healed.]

[You started to drift away from Lilith. You no longer accommodated her like you once did. You talked less and less.]

[Your training changed, from a desire to grow stronger, to nothing more than a way to vent your frustration. Lilith tried to stop you, gently telling you that this kind of training was meaningless.]

[But you didn’t listen. You kept going, locked in your pattern.]

[Then, one day, while training like usual, you felt something was wrong. And then, suddenly, a sharp, blinding pain exploded in your head. You clutched it, staggered forward, and began punching the tree in front of you, screaming.]

[Sensing something was wrong, Lilith rushed over and tried to restrain you. But even wrapped in her arms, you flailed violently.]

[Left with no choice, she was forced to use a harsher method, knocking you unconscious.]

[You awoke sometime later. The pain was gone, but something else had changed.]

[Memories. Faint and scattered — but real. Pieces of your childhood from those blank nine years had returned.]

[You didn’t move. You didn’t speak. You simply turned your gaze to Lilith, who sat beside you.]

[She seemed to already understand what had happened. Her lip was caught between her teeth as she asked, softly, if you were alright.]

[You didn’t respond. You just kept staring at her — as if comparing her to someone else — with an unreadable expression.]

So, what exactly did I remember in the simulation?

Noel, who had been smiling quietly at first, glad that a part of his memory had finally returned, now found himself growing irritated. Not a single word about his past had been written, after all.

Even though he knew — logically — that if the simulated him had regained a piece, then he too should receive it too after selecting the Strengthened Soul again...

Yet, he still felt impatient.

After all, it was something he had been thinking about for twelve years.

[At that moment in the simulation, it seemed like you had regained your calm... your cool, after retrieving a part of your memory. But it didn’t last.]

[Just a few days later, aside from your usual brutal training, which had only become more savage, you even destroyed the hut you lived in. You left nothing untouched.]

[23 years old. Your once-black hair had turned completely white. The gray of your eyes had dulled, their light gone, and now another color had begun to creep into them.]

[You looked like the perfect picture of someone crazy.]

[Just then, suddenly, the sky cracked.]

[The air itself seemed to shatter, like glass bending under pressure, until Selena appeared.]

[Lilith, standing to the side, saw Selena, and her gaze changed immediately. She tensed up, her whole body responding as she prepared for the battle she knew was coming. But Selena didn’t even glance her way. Her eyes were fixed solely on you.]

[She was already angry. But when she saw you — what you had become — she seemed to lose all reason, with the aura that burst from her even distorting the space around her.]

[Instead of backing down in the face of that pressure, Lilith’s expression twisted with rage. She tried to move toward your side, but didn’t make it far before the battle began.]

[Maybe because of how vast the space was, you could watch the fight clearly. And despite how strong Lilith had become, it was obvious — she was still like a child in front of Selena. The difference between them was too vast. There was no comparison.]

[Two insane women, tearing the world apart in front of you. With everything already broken in your mind, you thought you’d be fine watching it — just another crazy episode in your crazy life.]

[At least, that’s what you believed.]

[But then, you saw Lilith fall, some distance away, her body bloodied and limp, and Selena walking toward her, slow and deliberate, as if intending to end it.]

[Something snapped. Everything else — every thought, every wall — cleared away. And your body moved on its own.]

[You stumbled across the ground that no longer looked like ground, dragging your weakened body toward Lilith. You dropped to your knees beside her, pulled her tattered body into your arms, and hugged her tightly.]

[Then, raising your head, you looked at Selena.]

[You lowered your already shattered pride... and begged her — not to take your sister’s life.]

[Selena, silent and trembling, stood there. She seemed torn.]

[But in the end, she listened to you. And did nothing more to her.]

[You were still forced to leave with her though — walking away while Lilith, battered and bleeding, lay alone behind you. And as you moved farther, your sister’s hollow, pained screams followed you — calling out your name again and again.]

Noel clenched his hand as he read this part.

His eyes gleamed darkly, dangerously.

His breathing had slowed, but only because he was holding it in.

So many thoughts raced through his head, crashing and twisting, and he couldn’t tell who he should be angry at.

Selena?

Lilith?

Himself?

A silent fury was growing inside him. And he didn’t know yet where to aim it.

[You went with Selena to what she claimed was her house, though it was one you didn’t recognize. And there, the woman who had been deprived of you for over a year — finally let go.]

[Her passion ignited. Her body wrapped around you, refusing to let go.]

[You didn’t resist. You didn’t even think. And instead of punching a tree, you used her body to vent everything built up inside you.]

[But two days later, you were completely drained, while Selena’s skin glowed faintly, flushed with satisfaction, and she looked like she still wanted more.]

[But for your sake, she held back.]

Noel slowly brought his hand up and covered his face with it.

He leaned back, fingers curled over his features like he wanted to disappear for a second.

He didn’t say anything — but deep inside, his pride ached.

He swore silently to himself, a firm, iron vow echoing in his chest.

He would let her understand later... who really needs to hold back.