Bye, My Ruthless Alpha
Chapter 49: My Heart Hardened

Chapter 49: Chapter 49: My Heart Hardened

It was dark by the time I awoke to find myself on the floor, the photos of my unborn child still lying in my lap.

I didn’t remember falling asleep, but the exhaustion of everything I had been through made me realize that I definitely needed more rest.

I pulled myself up, my joints protesting the movement after being in that awkward position for hours.

After a stretch, I opened the bedroom door and moved to the living room, which was lit only by a small fire. I realized Mary had come in to bring me dinner at some point without me hearing her.

“Tori...”

I jumped in surprise, a small scream escaping me as I turned to find Jace sitting on the sofa.

“Jace,” I said in shock. I looked around, expecting to see Cayden, but there was no sign of him. “What are you doing here?”

Slowly, he rose to his feet, switching on a small lamp that sat on the end table near him.

“Mary came to me earlier because you hadn’t answered her and she was worried. I decided to wait for you to wake up.”

“Oh, thank you... I’m ok. Don’t worry.”

This was the first time in a while that Jace and I talked alone. We couldn’t get along like before anymore, although only I knew why.

It was then that I noticed the smell of alcohol.

“Have you been drinking?” I asked, frowning.

“Just a few sips. I still have to finish up my work later tonight.” He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said after a moment of silence.

That was why he came. He was here to apologize to me.

I just didn’t expect that the fearless Beta of the Black Shadow pack needed the push from alcohol to make his apology.

I took a seat and sighed. “Why, Jace? Why didn’t you tell me?” Then I chuckled. “You don’t need to answer. Of course you couldn’t. You’re his Beta.”

Jace sighed as well and shook his head. A look of remorse filled his eyes. “I was trying to get him to change his mind, Tori.”

I said nothing, waiting patiently for him to finish.

“I was trying to get him to accept how he feels about you. I hoped that, with time, he would see that, and you wouldn’t have to know about the plan at all,” he spoke faster than usual.

“Jace, I’m nothing special to him, as you can see,” I said bitterly. “Besides, I’m already over it now.”

Jace looked defeated. “I’m sorry, Tori, but I am his Beta. I would be breaking my oath to Cayden if I were to tell you the truth.”

I watched as he walked toward me, then stopped just a few feet away.

“I appreciate that you tried to change Cayden’s mind. Really.” After all, there wasn’t much Jace could do. As a Beta, he could not disregard his position or his Alpha. “What’s done is done. He’s made his choice,” I added.

“I want to explain something to you, if you will give me a chance,” Jace suddenly pleaded. “I want to explain to you why Cayden is the way he is. Maybe, that way, you won’t give up on him, and you can help change his mind.”

Nodding, I picked up the tray of food Mary had brought me and moved toward the small coffee table, setting it down.

“If you don’t mind me eating?” Even though I had no appetite at all, I needed to eat for the baby.

Jace was surprised by my question. I gave him a smile. “The baby is hungry.”

No matter how bitter I felt inside, I needed to be strong for my child. I told myself that over and over again, and magically, it seemed to be working.

“Please, go ahead,” Jace replied quickly. “I only need ten minutes, I promise.”

He followed me and took a seat, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched me get comfortable.

“Go ahead,” I encouraged him as I picked up the small bowl of soup, which was still a bit warm.

“Cayden wasn’t always the way he is now,” he began, taking a breath. “When he was a small boy...he saw his father being killed in front of him. It wasn’t until he was older that he realized his mother was behind his death, so she could be with another man.”

I was shocked.

“She betrayed their mate bond?”

“Yes, she did. Because another man had promised her more power. Power her mate couldn’t give her.” Jace’s voice was gentle, and it was so quiet in the room that I could hear the fire crackle.

“When Cayden got older, his stepfather was beyond abusive. He wasn’t the only one who abused Cayden though. His people did too. His Beta, his servants...everyone. I’ve always found it a miracle that he survived.”

Jace stared at the fire. “That man was a monster. He didn’t even treat his own children properly.” He took a shuddering breath. “One day, while Caroline was playing, his stepfather smacked her so hard it knocked her unconscious.”

Jace gritted his teeth as he relived the memory. “That was the last straw for Cayden. He ended up challenging his stepfather and killed him. Not long after, his mother died too.”

I gasped.

“He vowed to always keep his pack safe, but at the same time, he vowed to the Moon Goddess to never take a mate.”

Things began to make sense.

Cayden’s bloody reputation, his coldness toward women in general...

“So, he doesn’t want a mate because he thinks any woman would be like his mother?”

“Yes, essentially. He doesn’t want to give a woman enough power to be able to betray or destroy our pack...or him. So, since he knew he needed an heir—”

“He bought a breeder. And with his plan, he can just get rid of me and doesn’t ever need to worry about me coming back and using the child over him.” I smiled bitterly. “It’s unacceptable that I could possibly harm him, but it’s totally fine for him to kill me?”

“Tori...”Jace didn’t know how to answer. How could he?

His explanation hadn’t made me feel any better.

“And he feels this way but is still going to marry Sophia?” I couldn’t help but feel stung by all this. “Please forgive me, but I don’t understand.”

“Tori, you do understand...” Jace stared at me, waiting for me to come to the conclusion myself.

My brain was in a mess, but I took a few deep breaths so that I could sort through everything.

Cayden agreed to marry Sophia because my child would be the first born heir. It wouldn’t matter if Sophia became the Luna or not, her child would never be the next Alpha. She understood it, and Cayden of course did as well.

"Tori..." Jace could tell that I had already comprehended the situation. "Cayden wanted an heir solely to himself. Someone he could trust to hand over his pack to in the future, without any influence from the child’s mother, or even the Luna’s pack. He had to do it as soon as possible, because with the war approaching, he knew he would need to do whatever was necessary for the alliance, including...marrying someone he has no interest in."

I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what I should say.

He sighed. “I’ll be going now. I just wanted to try and explain everything. I wouldn’t dare to beg you for your forgiveness, and you have all the right to stay upset with me.”

Jace stood to his feet. As he left the room, he stopped, casting one more glance back toward me.

“If there is anything I can do for you to make your stay better, please let me know.” He hesitated for a moment, and I waited patiently for him to complete. "Regardless of what you think, Cayden cares about you."

He was trying to convince me as well as himself. "Please, don’t give up on him."

Then he left the room, the door clicking behind him.

I sat in the dark. Jace’s words replayed in my head over and over again.

"Don’t give up on him..." I repeated to myself.

Cayden had suffered from his childhood due to his mother, so he didn’t trust most women. I didn’t agree with him, but I could understand him a bit better now.

Had I not known about his plan for me, I would even think that, maybe, I meant a little more to him. I didn’t expect him to love me back, but I was hopeful that at least some of his tenderness was genuine feelings for me.

How foolish.

Everything he did was for one and only one purpose—he needed an heir, and he would do whatever that might take to make a strong and healthy child, including making me somewhat happy.

Just like he would do whatever was needed for strengthening the alliance.

He was a man who clearly knew what he wanted and how to get it.

My heart hardened.

Cayden might have been blinded by his painful past, but it didn’t mean I had to pay the price for his burden.

Everyone had bad things happen to them. What made the difference was how we chose to handle them. Living by this philosophy was what got me through the longest of days growing up, back when all I received was abuse.

My hands moved to touch my belly.

What about my child? Would this little life be raised without a mother? Would they only have a father who was nothing but distant and cold? Would they have a stepmother that would never love them, or worse, hate them because they stood in her way?

No... I would never do that to my child. I was not afraid to face death anymore, but this baby deserved way more than a life of coldness, politics and hatred.

It was more than clear what I had to do.

To get the ending I desired, I would have to work with my enemy.

Sighing, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” I said to the small fetus growing in my stomach.

I would have to make sure of it on my own.

***

As I walked around the pack grounds, lost in my thoughts, a sudden burst of colorful lights in the sky caught my attention. Curiosity got the better of me, and I made my way toward the source of the commotion.

To my utter dismay, I saw Cayden and Sophia standing side by side, their faces illuminated by the brilliant fireworks.

They were laughing and chatting, looking completely at ease with each other. A wave of pain washed over me, so intense that it felt like a physical blow. All the memories of our past together flashed before my eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of betrayal.

I had trusted Cayden, and yet, here he was, enjoying a moment with someone who had once been my enemy.

Without a second thought, I turned on my heels and rushed back to my room. I started packing my things haphazardly, my hands shaking with a mix of anger and sadness. I was done with this pack, done with the constant heartbreak.

Cayden’s actions had left me utterly disappointed, and I knew I couldn’t stay here any longer. I was determined to leave and start a new life, just me and the little one growing inside me.