Boundless Evolution: The Summoning Beast
Chapter 40: Existential Crisis

Chapter 40: Existential Crisis

Gasp!

Boy jolted awake with a sharp inhale, his chest rising and falling in rapid succession.

Lub-dub! Lub-dub!

His heart pounded against his ribs, his fur damp with sweat despite the cool night air.

For a moment, he was still trapped in the nightmare as his limbs tensed, ready to fight, to flee- but there was no battlefield, no dragon looming above him.

’Wh-Where am I?’

His breaths came short and uneven as remnants of his dream gripped at his chest.

Only the quiet night remained, the stars twinkling in the sky in mesmerising constellations as Boy’s mind crawled back to reality.

’It was a dream?’

It still clung to him. He could still feel it lingering in his chest, like a constrictor wrapping around his ribs.

The emotions of the summons, the dragon’s golden gaze, Lady Elaria... None of it felt distant, none of it felt like a dream. It was too real.

Quietly, Boy stretched his paws and stumbled to his feet, pressing them into the dirt. The earth was solid beneath him, real- but it didn’t feel real.

He moved away as he padded away from the campfire, past the slumbering figures of villagers huddled together for warmth. Further, into the darkness, where the shadows stretched endlessly, welcoming him like an old friend.

His mind was still trapped in those thoughts as despite knowing that it was a dream, the weight in his chest refused to ease.

It was different... He had always known fear- fear of hunger, of battle, of being discarded. But this?

This kind of fear... It did not come from the battle nor from the threat of death, but from something he could not identify but could clearly tell that it was far worse.

He finally stopped at a small clearing, just beyond the edge of the campfire, where the stars above were no longer obscured by the rising smoke of the dying fire.

What are you?

Boy replayed the dragon’s question in his head as he gazed up at the night sky and gritted his teeth, shaking his head.

’What did it mean?’ he pondered as he tried to come up with answers.

’I am... I am...’ he thought but as he was about to continue each answer, he found that the next line of words got stuck in his throat. He tried to force it out but as he did so, he found that he was not happy with the answers.

’I am a hyena... No’

’I am a human... No’

’I am a hybrid... No’

’I am a summon... But I don’t want to be’

Thoughts along this line began to flood his head as frustration filled his head.

’Why is this question so hard?’ he cursed in his head as he found himself looking upwards as his golden eyes flicked upward.

The stars stretched endlessly above him, vast and uncaring.

’They simply watch...’ he thought, ’do they even care that I exist?’

The cold light of the stars did not waver as it showed absolutely no change. It did not acknowledge the fear that still twisted in his gut. They had watched civilizations rise and fall, warriors carve their names into history only to be forgotten.

Did his existence matter in the grand scheme of things?

Compared to them, he was insignificant—a fleeting existence destined to be erased. The thought made his claws sink deeper into the dirt, frustration mingling with uncertainty. They had watched over countless creatures before him, and they would continue long after he was gone.

And yet, on earth, the villagers saw him as a savior, the soldiers treated him as an respected anomaly that was an ally. Raegan looked at him like he was something more than a regular summon. But what did he see himself as?

’What am I even fighting for?’

He had told himself that he sought strength to stand above those who once looked down on him. That power was his answer. That was the path that he had decided after what he had gone through.

But in his journey, he had seen those who pursued strength for strength’s sake but when he saw the aftermath that they were leaving, he did not see anything that made him envy their power.

Strength had not made them whole... Neither did it leave happiness...

’So what do they gain strength for?’

Yet the things that he experienced in his past directly conflicted with what he experienced now. The lessons and insights that he had taken out from his past and applied to his future were now different from what he was seeing now.

His gaze then lowered and flicked back towards the village. He could see them- the villagers, curled up in their makeshift beds, huddling together for warmth.

He watched as a mother instinctively pulled her child closer in her sleep, as if protecting them even now. They had lost everything, and yet... they still had something.

’Would I ever understand that kind of hope?’

A bitter part of him scoffed at the thought but then, he found that there was another part of him- the part that had given the flower to the girl, the part that had fought not just to win, but to save- did not hate or immediately dismiss the thought.

The dragon’s voice returned in his head, the second thing it had said, distant yet piercing.

What will you do when survival is no longer enough?

The instant it appeared, Boy found his mind getting more troubled. For so long, survival had been his only goal. But now?

Now he wasn’t so sure what he was fighting for... He didn’t have answers.

But as much as he hated to admit it, the dream had caused something inside him to loosen and he couldn’t ignore it, not having answers. And that was what scared him the most.

A soft crunch of footsteps broke the silence that surrounded Boy, pulling him from his tangled thoughts.

His ears twitched instinctively, and he turned his gaze slightly as he saw who was approaching him.

Raegan stood a few feet away as he made his way towards Boy and sat down next to him, his features illuminated by the faint glow of the dying fire behind him.

His posture was relaxed, yet there was something searching in his gaze, as if he had already guessed what was troubling Boy, "Couldn’t sleep?"