BLOOD LEGACIES
Chapter 506: Invite The Pain

Chapter 506: Invite The Pain

EMMA

~

"What will become of us now, Dace?" I asked, each word feeling like the earth’s gravity was pressing down on me. Speaking created a tightening sensation in my chest, and my head throbbed with pain. The voices in the dagger plagued me, reminding me of what could have been, what I could have had. The baby’s cries echoed endlessly. This blade, connected to the dead, had become a way for me to seek closure for something I could never truly have.

I knew I should give Hayden back the dagger, it’s messing with my head each passing day but I found it hard to let go. I needed closure.

I brought my eyes back to Dace, he stood motionless, his blank golden hazel eyes just stared back at me and I couldn’t feel anything from them, not even a spark. I locked my emotions from him so I could keep the disgust to myself of feeling pain for that monster. I don’t want him to feel that, to have him know I feel regret for killing Luther.

I’m more disgusted with myself for constantly thinking about him. The sire bond was merciless, not allowing me to grieve properly, and I’m damned for feeling this way against my will. Even after his death, I’m still dancing to his tune.

Was this your final gift to me Luther? To ruin me beyond comprehension? Now I understood why he smiled at me before life drained from his eyes.

"We’re like two chemicals that are forced to mix now," I said. "What’s your thought on this?"

His silence told me there was no answer to this, I don’t have the answer too. I know I’m playing with fire at the tip of my fingertips but I asked anyway because I still didn’t want to believe I had truly lost everything.

"How did you feel when you heard the news about the baby?"

"You deserve better," he answered instead of my original question.

My lips trembled and I sobbed, forcing the tears back. I placed the dagger back in my purse, clenching it tighter. "I don’t deserve you either" I hurriedly wiped the tears and walked past him without looking back, knowing if I did I would turn the situation for the worse with my selfish desires.

I could feel the world crumbling around me. We had both lost more than we could count—it was too much for me and nothing for him.

~

"Emma," my mom said softly as she pulled some strands of my hair covering my face. "Are you sure about this?"

"I don’t know what to do, Mom" I sobbed burying my face in her neck and shaking uncontrollably.

She wrapped her arms around me tightly. "I’m with you in anything you decide" She kissed my forehead. "Always"

"I feel like I’m breaking into two"

"It won’t last forever sweetie, you and I know pain stops eventually. That’s what Vanessa used to say anytime I got pricked by a needle" she sniffled, placing her hands on my arms and pushing me to sit upright. "Give me the purse, sweetie"

I hesitated, glaring at her as if she were trying to steal something important from me.

"Emma, please"

I shook my head. "It hard to sleep without it, it’s hard, I-I-I will come apart"

"No sweetie, you won’t"

"D-D-Dace isn’t here to hold me and whisper to my ears that everything is going to be alright. If I let him come closer then he will feel the emotions I’m trying to keep hidden" I said in a quavering voice. "H-H-He will know"

"Sweetie" she cupped my cheek with one hand. "The dagger"

I gulped hard, leveling my eyes on the purse I clenched with my dear life. "Mom please," I begged. "Let me just hear it one more time"

"If I let that happen then you will never move on from it"

I dragged my teary eyes to hers. "This hurts me more honey, it hurts to see you like this, you have clung to this dagger and pushed everyone away. The dagger is the reason it keeps reminding you of the sire bond, hurting yourself for that, and the baby cries, you will keep hearing it until you eventually crumble..."

I shook my head trying to move away but she held my arms tightly keeping me in place.

"...Into pieces, I won’t be able to pick up, I can’t let my daughter continue like this, you need to heal, for me. For Dace’s sake"

I shifted my bloodshot eyes to her. "He might be hollow but guess what? You’re the noise he desperately needs, you’re the faint light that will crumble those dark walls. I have never seen a love such as the one you have for Dace, ever"

My body trembled uncontrollably, I leveled my eyes on the purse and gradually shifted it towards my mom, although I clenched on it like a lifeline she placed her hand on mine and my grip loosened.

She seized the opportunity to snatch it out of my hold and flung it somewhere. "There, your pain is your pain, your heart is yours, and your mind too, don’t let lingering voice give you a mirage" She cupped my cheeks and placed her forehead on mine. "What real is this, you in my embrace that’s what, do not let the dead dictate your actions"

"I’m scared, mom"

"I know," she nodded. "I know honey and I am too" She pulled me into a hug. "It’s okay to be scared, but it’s not okay to let that control you" She placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

Broken ~ By Isak Danielson

Later that day I stood in front of Vanessa’s picture. There were many on shelves, like a visible album, of both her and my mom, dictating from their early years to the present. It’s odd because I have seen these pictures many times but now it felt like the first time, as if seeing history.

I grabbed a picture, it was the one she took at my first homecoming dance in Juneau High. I placed my hands on the picture, wishing she could be here right now. The many things she had said to me echoed in the depths of my mind.

I wondered what she would say if she were here, she would probably tell me the same thing my mom said, they were both alike in many ways. I dropped the picture back and spotted a case.

I grabbed it and opened it revealing the bracelet she gave me, a smile tugged on my lips as I pinned it around my wrist. I stared back at all the pictures overwhelmed by the sight of her, my smile refusing to fade but the tears didn’t stop, not even the pain in my heart.

"I’ll always be your weird aunt"

I squeezed my eyes shut and I was overcome by the memories, the first time I saw her through the pictures my mom showed me, the first time I stepped in Juneau when she abruptly called my name. When I walked into the house for the first time, the warnings she gave and how bad she was at lying.

When I experienced my witch cycle, when my powers first went ballistic, she was there. Holding me tight and trying to protect me however she could. She was my rock in many ways I couldn’t imagine and not having her felt like a part of my world was missing. She was the very personification that good still exists in a supernatural world filled with nothing but blood and chaos, a world she tried to hide me away from, tried so hard to shield me from.

She was the bright place I saw each morning I woke up, her worries grew on me, her tenderness and her gentle heart not just to me but to everyone around her, my sweet Aunt Vanessa who was too good for this world.

I was suddenly pressured by the last look in her eyes, the way she smiled at me before she slit her throat.

I broke into a feat of tears, holding my chest tightly as I came undone.

Let it out Emma, there’s no need to hold it in, let it out. Let everything out, the pain doesn’t make you weak but it defines you. It reshapes you but never let it control you.

"I’m sorry" I cried. "I’m so so sorry" I dropped to my knees, my mouth parted in a silent cry, and an inaudible scream followed. I didn’t just beg for forgiveness from my aunt but my baby who didn’t get the chance to know me or Dace, or see just how amazing the world can be, what it could be.

I let it all out until there was nothing left and I became empty. Until there were no tears left in my eyes to offer. Until I’m breathing profusely and drawing on my last breath of sorrow.

Until I was liberated.