Black Myth: Starting from the Destined One
Chapter 88 - 84 Jokes

Chapter 88: Chapter 84 Jokes

Yiye Zhiqiu’s heartfelt persuasion was originally thought to earn him praise from Li Ping’an, but it resulted in a scolding from Li Ping’an.

"Their seductive acts are none of your business, right? Why do you care if my back is strong or not? You’re so capable, you can take over small matters like saving the nation and the people. As you said, romance and the lure of women harm one’s body. Today, I must overcome this hurdle and challenge men’s weaknesses. Please stop bothering me!"

Li Ping’an was about to leave after he finished speaking, but Yiye Zhiqiu, looking aggrieved, grabbed him.

"Senior, I, the lesser Yiye Zhiqiu, am a mage of the Kunlun Mountains and stand on my own merits, which puts me above many others. My master even knew you from before. By all accounts, I and you are our own kind. Why do you never look at me directly, Senior?"

Li Ping’an wanted to say, "Are you gay, why do you keep staring at me?" but he was afraid Yiye Zhiqiu wouldn’t understand, so he ended up patiently explaining:

"Yiye Zhiqiu, if you don’t teach me the art of Talisman, don’t expect me to pay any attention to you. Got it?"

Li Ping’an then ran off to tease and play around with the Xiao Family Sisters.

Who would have expected that rather than getting angry, Yiye Zhiqiu actually became extremely excited:

"I never thought the great and renowned Zhuge Weiwei would actually beseech me, a junior? Such an honor! Such an honor indeed!"

Thus, Yiye Zhiqiu and the members of the Xiao Family took a rest in the great hall, while Li Ping’an intentionally chatted with the Xiao Family Sisters elsewhere the entire morning. After eating lunch, Li Ping’an finally lay down for a nap that lasted two time periods.

When he woke up, the members of the Xiao Family had prepared dinner. Apart from the Xiao sisters, a group of people formed a circle on the open ground in front of the hall to dine.

During the meal, in a moment of boredom, the members of the Xiao Family, watching Li Ping’an who was gobbling his food without any semblance of a wise man, asked him:

"Senior Zhuge, why did you become so determined to rebel back then?"

"Yeah, yeah, do tell us."

The members of the Xiao Family egged him on together, and Li Ping’an, thinking they had no idea who he was, started to talk nonsense:

"It’s all because my ancestors were blind, forcing me to seek knowledge and become a scholar familiar with ancient and modern times. Who knew that writing travelogues would get me accused of leaking national secrets, and writing history meant I was criticizing the present through the past."

"Well, then I tried commenting on military strategies, and they said I was inciting rebellion. Sigh! I thought writing myths would be safe, but then I was accused of leading people into superstition. In the end, I only wrote biographies, but then someone I wrote about got arrested, labeled a rebel, which led to me being wanted too. That got me on this path!"

"That makes sense!"

The members of the Xiao Family nodded as if they believed every word, and then they kept pestering Li Ping’an to tell them more about his rebellious exploits and the Futang Group’s affairs. Not knowing much about these topics, Li Ping’an turned his attention to Yiye Zhiqiu, who was enjoying his meal.

"Ah, you ask about my affairs—according to local legends, they are all true. If we were to delve into details, three days and nights might not suffice. Better let Yiye Zhiqiu tell you instead."

Everyone then looked at Yiye Zhiqiu, who, upon hearing this, slapped his thigh and exclaimed:

"If Senior wants me to tell, I certainly must give Senior this face. Then let me tell you a joke widely known in our Kunlun Sect."

"Sure, sure!"

Li Ping’an joined in the clamor with the Xiao Family members.

Yiye Zhiqiu, holding his bowl of rice, moved next to Li Ping’an and started telling everyone vividly:

"Recently, my senior brother from the Kunlun Three Sages taught a lesson to a bandit chief, who seemed to be called ’Supreme Treasure’..."

"Hmm? How did this involve me?"

Li Ping’an cocked his head, looking sideways, feeling something was not right.

"That Supreme Treasure, who calls himself the Gang Leader of the Axe Guild, the Dusk Warrior, unbeaten within a 500-mile radius of Five Fingers Mountain, foolishly wished to challenge my senior brother in combat," Li Ping’an exclaimed with a smirk. "Just imagine, I am already so formidable, so just think how much more formidable my senior brother must be. It’s laughable; Supreme Treasure really has no idea about life and death..."

"When my senior brother, one of the Kunlun Three Sages, went to meet the challenge, he found that Supreme Treasure’s martial skills were mediocre at best, nothing but childish tricks. A complete waste, my brother didn’t even need to use Daoist Magic, and with mere fists and feet using the Seven-Injury Fist, he beat that worthless Supreme Treasure until he was crawling in his own filth, nearly kneel down and call him ’Daddy,’! His lackeys scattered in terror from just that," recounted Li Ping’an with a disdainful chuckle.

"I heard after my senior brother wounded him with the Seven-Injury Fist, it knocked some sense out of him, literally turned him into an idiot, he couldn’t even walk properly anymore and had to walk on his hands instead, resulting in him having menstrual disorders, urinary incontinence, someone had to take care of his bowel movements and urination. And that was my brother holding back. If he had gone all out, Supreme Treasure would be spitting out feces from his mouth," laughed Li Ping’an.

"Hahahaha!"

In Yiye Zhiqiu’s mouth, Supreme Treasure, also known as Li Ping’an, was talked down as worthless, a laughing stock, a mere waste, everyone followed on with mocking laughter, laughing until their stomachs hurt.

Particularly, Yiye Zhiqiu, who laughed the loudest and seemed the most amused, noticed that Li Ping’an himself wasn’t laughing but instead, his face was incredibly unsightly. Curiously, he asked:

"Senior, why aren’t you laughing? Don’t you find it funny, or is it that Supreme Treasure just isn’t laughable enough?"

"I’ve had enough! I’m going to take a bath!"

Frustrated, Li Ping’an abruptly left his meal and headed to the back garden to bathe alone.

However, the atmosphere in the cloakroom next to the hall was far from joyful, but rather full of gloom.

Xiao Qingfeng anxiously looked towards Chang’an and said:

"Sister, father said he’d be here by noon today; why hasn’t he come back yet? Could something have happened?"

Xiao Yuechi was also exceedingly worried as she replied:

"Sister, I don’t know either, and I share your worries. Father insisted on going to Chang’an under such dangerous conditions to deal with some important matter, and now it’s delayed until now. What should we do?"

In their helplessness and worry, the sisters turned towards the direction where Li Ping’an was bathing, and a thought suddenly struck them:

"Why not seek help from Senior Zhuge?"

"Senior Zhuge?"

A blush suddenly arose on Xiao Qingfeng’s face:

"This morning, while you were cooking, Senior Zhuge secretly told me he wanted to meet me in secret. Maybe we could use this opportunity to ask him about our father’s fate?"

"Yes, yes, ask Senior Zhuge."

Xiao Yuechi added:

"Father mentions that Senior Zhuge has a quirky character and never plays by the rules. When imparting his mystical insights, he always speaks alone."

"Exactly!"

Xiao Qingfeng nodded in agreement, recalling:

"Father also said Senior Zhuge has some understanding of divination, his words during these solo mystic teachings are profound and enigmatic, and one needs to comprehend them on their own, otherwise, it’s impossible to grasp what Senior Zhuge is really talking about."

Enviously, Xiao Yuechi said:

"Sister, you are so fortunate to have caught the individual attention of Senior Zhuge, it seems he wishes to secretly inform you of father’s whereabouts."

"Then later, help me arrange a meeting with Senior Zhuge, and you guys can eavesdrop outside. I am not very clever; if I can’t grasp what Senior Zhuge is saying, you can analyze it outside, and it would be best to bring Kunlun Taoist, Yiye Zhiqiu."